TAN #182: Summer's fading, break out the TANkinis for the last time! (Page 47)

Darn. There goes my chance with Teejay. That and the fact that I am married. And the fact that even if I wasn't and living near her, she would probably not give me the time of day.

I would never do a long distance relationship unless it was established prior.  And THEN if there are current talks about getting back together.

The wife and I did long distance for a while, and it almost ended us...  I just think you need to be around each other to share expereinces and the day to day stuff.  The once a month doesn't cut it.

I don't know if it makes sense, but your day to day things are constanty changing you.  Transforming you.  Slowly, but it does happen.  Like water over stone.  It's happening, even if it's not noticed.

If two people are basically in the "same place" at one given moment, that's the start of a relationship.  If they share the day to day expereinces, then they sort of change together.  Transform together.

If they are apart, one week?  No problem.  One month?  No problem.  the changes are not that great yet.  But when you get to years?  Those tiny changes in both of you may add up enought to make you too far apart.

That's my theory.  Even when I was away from the wife (well, not yet wife) for a month or two, it sort of FELT like she was kind of a stranger.  I almost even forgot what she looked like.  Thank goodness for unlimited minutes and skype, probably helps if you make the effort to talk every day and see each other.

well, yeah.  dating currently married people is probably not going to work.

HOWEVER.  I was married when I started dating the current wife.  Seperated, waiting for the state to grant the divorce, paperwork was done and under review...  But still married.

For ME, I would add 3) kids, unless they are grown and out of the house.

I don't have kids of my own yet, I'm not interested in raising someone elses and all that baggage like the "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER" and such...  blech.

I am grateful my dad now was not as narrow minded as me.  He's amazing and I'm glad to have him.  And if he thought the same way, would have ran, not walk, RAN from my mom who had three of us at the time.  He's a better man than me in SO many ways.

And I guess that means no setting you up with guys I know from here.  I mean we do have a few nice looking young post docs.

well, if you are going to be picky like that...

Do you tell him? As a step-father to kids who sort of hate me, I think he'd appreciate hearing that.

Yep, it works well for some.  To me, long distance is more a bootie visit, than something meaningful for ME.  But maybe I'm too old school to make it work that way.  Hazards of getting old I guess.

But shoot, I'm just the kind of person who LIKES being exclusive, almost right off the bat, and likes to hang out a LOT.  Not 24/7 mind you.  But lots.

My son has never ever said this to my husband!!!  I don't think he has ever even thought it.

I had to check the title of the thread.  I thought I had clicked the dating thread by mistake.

I did peek in the dating thread earlier today and saw Cheri's list by her boss.  I am O-fer the entire list.  Every single item.  It is amazing.  I really didn't think I was that bad.  O-fer.  My manly pride is crushed.

Maybe not directly, but he knows.  Besides, he came along when I was... let me think for a second... 2nd father passed away when I was in kindergarten...  So maybe 1st-2nd grade?  So easily 36 years ago.  In all intensive purposes, he IS my dad.  That's what I call him, and that's what he will always be.  DAD.

My bio father still lives in CA and left my mom when I was born.  We are JUST starting to connect over the last 5 years... 

I joke that I/my mom sort of lived a soap opera life.

Since I'm NOT single, I can't post in the dating thread.  Even though I broke the rules by posting there a couple times today.  But I CAN talk about it in TAN.

And I really hope that you find him one day...

Ima moron sorry

Hey, I post in there sometimes. Eff 'em!

SWP out!

As do I

Excellent!  i will cross my fingers for you.

I'm out, you all have a great weekend.

again, Ima moron.

That's how it works out the best, IMO.  The dating site are okay for some things.  They help you get out there sometimes.  And just increases your exposure/networking. 

In general, I think most is not worth the effort, and it takes a lot of work to get through them, but if you get presented with 100 options, you might find a couple with spending time with.

Sometimes they are good just getting you back out there and outside your normal circles, which can dry up at times.  There are only so many friends of friends you can date.

I hit quote on the wrong post.  I wasn't responding to yours, somthing WAY earlier...  Pages back...  So it made NO sense.

I guess it could have been worse.  Someone might have mentioned how they just had to put their dog down and I responded "haha!  That's awesome", thinking I was quoting someone's joke 3 pages back.