No Housework Day Ride & Cherry Blossom 10-Miler Carbo Load Dinner!!! (Page 49)

3558 - 2008-01-15 12:00 PM

dck4shrt - 2008-01-15 11:45 AM

wurkit_gurl - 2008-01-15 11:40 AM

docswim24 - 2008-01-15 11:36 AM Makes it sound like we did naughty things to the poor girl. He is not good for you wurkit - has a bad rep....and it sounds like you and your tri boy may work after all.

We will see. He said he didn't want to rush into anything serious. I don't want to rush into anything serious either (which I'd already told him before he got all weird right before Christmas). So I don't think I'm being unrealistic by not expecting too much from him while the bro is here. I understand Z's concern for my well-being, and I'm not devaluing myself. I'm just trying to give him the space that he clearly wants/needs. I don't need to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't have his act together, and I don't want to freak him out by being needy. If he's still being a douche when the bro is gone, then we will have to have a "stop being a douche- I don't want to marry you tomorrow or anything, so just chill out" conversation.

If he's still being a douche then he really is a douche and/or he is trying to send the message that he doesn't want it to go any further, no need for the 'i don't want to marry you' conversation, IMO.

Thanks for letting us know that is was your opinion. For a second there, I thought maybe you were offering someone else's opinion.

I think that is everyone's opinion, actually. 

Stop being a douche, or she'll never make out with you, IMO. 

Fine, I'll stop hanging out with him then, if that's what you all think I should do. I just don't think that the fact that his brother is here means that he's not interested anymore. We spent all of NYE talking to each other, he and his bro came out with me on my birthday, he spent the evening right next to me, with his arm around the back of my side of the bench, talking all close, etc, and he gave me his arm on the way to the car, he picked up the phone in the middle of his semi-regular poker game the other night when I called him back after he'd called and left me a voice mail. Guys, would you answer the phone in the middle of a guy's night if you weren't interested in the girl who was calling? I've been friends with guys long enough to know and actually see them screen calls from girls they don't really care much about when they're with their buddies.

I know it's not a lot, but church boys move slow and most of them are scared of the girls at church (Matt told me this himself). I don't have enough evidence to the contrary to completely write him off yet, esp. if he said he doesn't want to move too fast and wants us to develop more of a friendship too.

wurkit, I am on your side. Wait until the bro leaves before you start to give too much thought about it all. I mean, if his bro is a guest for a month, tri hottie does need to give him the time and attention and stuff he deserves. And, it's a weird thing. My brother was home for a week at Christmas. None of the guys he keeps in tough with from HS live in the area, so I was his only "friend" in the area. Boy was he needy. He wanted to hang out morning, noon, and night, and I felt guilty hanging out with my own friends at some points...esp when it was just the girls and not something he was interested in doing. We did do some things together as well. But, I felt awful when I went out and he was just sitting home alone. I would never put spending time with someone I've only just gotten to know over spending time with my bro.

And, when I am interested in a guy, I still don't stay up past my bedtime or skip workouts just to hang out. It doesn't mean I am not interested. So, I wouldn't take his actions right now as not being interested either. Obviously, once the bro leaves, it all changes. But for now, just go with it .

It was a light month for nominations.  

Brother.. Poon.. Brother.. Poon.. hmm let me weight this one.. Poon Wins 10 out of 10  

as a guy I never feel guilty not hanging out with my brother.. he does his thing, I do mine 

If he were a regular guy, maybe. But he's not. Church dating is different.

But my point is that his brother doesn't have anything to do when he's not at work. He doesn't know anyone here - no friends in the area. So who else is he gonna hang out with? Oh yeah, right, his brother whose couch he is sleeping on.

Even when he's only visiting for a short period of time (i.e., it's not like you can just hang out every weekend and stuff), and doesn't have anyone else in the area with which to hang?

Do you have any hot single friends that can occupy Matts brother's time so you can get some quiet time with him? 

That's right slake, you're just a regular poon chasin' church hatin' brother ditchin' guy. 

My point is that sex has nothing to do with it at this stage. He's not giving up the opportunity to get some to hang out with his brother.

Are you still okay to hang out in here with us? Or is there a private thread for the BT'ers of the month?

Hey, seriously, congratulations!

Just make him buy you dinner, baseball tickets and ice cream at the game.

One way or another, that is probably a factual statement.

Thanks.  And no worries, I would never leave the petit-bourgeoisie behind.

Arg...I meant that by hanging out with his bro, that he's not missing out on "getting some".

Of course, by hanging with his brother, he maybe delaying his potential opportunity to get some, and for us regular non-church guys, that's worth something.
 

You mean he is "getting some" by hanging out with his bro?

Run.  Run far, far away. 

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!

GFY.

I get that this whole "we're not going to be doing it any time soon" thing might be weird to non-church folk. Esp. since there are plenty of church folk who don't stick to this. But without going into too much detail, my point is that sex is NOT an issue at this moment and will not be any time soon. And honestly, I wouldn't WANT him chasing me down just to get booty. I think one of the reasons he got spooked was possibly b/c all the makin' out was too much for him at that moment - to him, it was moving too fast. And that's fine with me. I'm not a prude, by any means. But I also respect his boundaries. Though this stuff doesn't make much sense to non-Christians. And plenty of Christians don't abide by these rules anyhow. Anyway, my point is, the rules of this game are a bit different than what you all are probably used to, and certainly what I was used to for the first 25 years of my life. 

And so I wait for the brother to leave...

Why do you think shelly and turtle and I kept trying to keep up with you on the trail on Sunday??