Baowolf's Mentor Group- Closed (Page 52)

Baby shower time!!!! I guess my best advice is “ Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

Other advice is that everyone, everyone, everyone will give you advice – whether you ask for it for not. And most of it is contradictory. And most makes you feel inadequate. And most comes from the grandparents of the baby. Listen if you think it’s good but also feel free to ignore every last bit of it. Every bit. These girls are yours and you need to raise them the way that you think you should and NOT the way your parents, your friends, your coworkers, total strangers, other parents, other non-parents, and fellow internet mentees think that you should. Do it your way. And love it.

I thought my baby was so amazing that I could not believe God picked that baby for me. God could have picked so many different souls to have given me but he picked this particular soul for me. Wow!!!! I want to make sure that he is just as amazing when he returns to God.

Now advice for you dads dealing with your wives. Tell them how gorgeous they are. Tell them what wonderful mothers they are. When your wife was up six times during the night changing your baby and then she begs you not to go to work that day because she is tired, don’t chirpily say, “Sorry, I’ve got to go.” {Can you tell I still have some resentment against my hubby for that? I still bring it up and he still doesn’t remember it. Yea, right, like I made that up. Oh shoot, where was I?}

But it’s exactly like Steve says, make sure you stay connected with your spouse. It’s hard. It’s very, very, very hard. You will have that precious baby that needs your full time attention and then you have work, chores at home, and real life to deal with and sometimes you and your spouse don’t get as much time together. But make time. My best advice is when the baby is 2 years old (earlier if you can arrange it but it happened to be two years for us.), plan a vacation for you and your wife. It doesn’t have to be long or exotic but at least a couple of days. Talk openly and then each of you recommit to the marriage. Openly state that the last few years have been for the baby. But now as the child grows, you two have got to start taking a little time for each other and the marriage.

Ok, that’s my advice. But as stated earlier, you can ignore every bit of it. And I’m ok with that. {Probably wouldn't be if I saw you face to face but then again, what can I do?}

I wish you both so much love, happiness, and joy from your new bundles of joy (and Mitch, for you other precious one too.)

We will be praying for you too. Please let us know how it goes.

Yep I will be doing CDA and IMLT next year or trying to do both. I may hit CDA less hard so I can recover better not sure yet. Still seeing how recovery goes atm.

Yes if the baby sleeps life is good, if not, zombie mode will definitely be in effect. Other things that impact sleep is if your wife breastfeeds (easier) or bottle feeds. We had a infant bed/crib/mattress thing that was attached to the side of the bed with a cord that went between the mattress and box spring to the other side to keep in in place.

Prayers also for the thyroid, those are important.

Baby shower day! Woohoo! Can't wait to hear news of the little princesses entering the world! As a single and childless person I will share what I think regarding what I've observed. It is interesting that my thoughts run in the same grain as what the others have said. So here are my 2cents. Don't forget about the one you will spend the rest of your life with. Make time to spend with each other doing anything, but especially things that bring you joy personally and as a couple. As much as children need their parents to learn and grow they also need growing and learning parents who love each other, and eventually the very needy baby will need you less and less. Laugh together about as many things that go wrong as possible. Remind your wife that taking care of herself, the marriage and the wee one is more important than a clean house or dinner or whatever else you might consider important. I'm so very happy for both of your growing families!

Jay - I think your timeline for an IM is perfect. Very similar to mine, and as Steve has already said it is about taking the time necessary and building slowly. Getting the swim coach was huge for me because my swim went really well. I also am not dealing with water issues and that was helpful. But remember I have no family obligations so my time is mine to use as needed - my point being, do not compare yourself to me or any one else. And listen to Steve I'll be praying for your wife!

Pam - you are definitely a parent and I loved your advice.

Steve - I have admired you and your wife and your marriage since I first met you in this group. She sounds wonderful and I look forward to meeting her! Happy 26 Years (I think that's how many you said). I think it's great your going after Tahoe again. At least you can hit it knowing what to plan for, and if the weather is beautiful, then it'll be a sweet race. Can't wait til IMCDA!

I've been arranging thing in my house today and an eight foot tall cabinet took a tumble to the ground and put a nice gouge in my wall...grrrr. Thankfully it didn't hurt me and it was mostly not damaged. Still struggling to get back to any training.

Mitch and Jared, so very happy for you both! Funny, I too was going to encourage you both to make sure and nurture not just your new baby, but your relationship with your wife. I'm at the age where my friends kids are leaving the nest. Some still have a great relationship with their spouse and are ready for the next chapter, and sadly some hardly know each other anymore. I also wanted to mention being as open/honest as you can with your kids. I see many parents trying to shield their children, which is great to a point. But when there are problems for the family, they may not understand everything, but they FEEL it. Unknown tension is a tough thing for a child, so share as much as they can understand (and it may be more than you think). Show them that you love them for who they are, not what they accomplish, and that they have a Heavenly Father who makes your love pale in comparison to His.

Jay, yes, praying that your wife's thyroid issue is not cancer and can be resolved easily. Enough already for her and for you!

I also wanted to mention how honored I am to be part of this group. Reading all of your posts today made me realize that more than ever!

Carol, I felt the same way today, but I thought to myself "I say that all the time", but I decided, after reading your post, it can not be said too much!

Edited by anthalynn 2013-09-28 8:17 PM

+2. It's amazing how much I love you all even tho we have never met face to face. This group has really helped me with training but even more with RL.

There are some really good posts going on here this weekend! I love the advice that is being shown to Mitch and Jared on their soon to be arriving girls! As I read what everyone had to say; I stopped and thought "I really hope this is considered because advice from people without any alterior motives except the happiness of all involved is solid advice" When you get advice from friends/family...sadly, it will always be slanted toward one person or the other. Anywho, I do agree with what the ladies said about keeping your relationship solid during the zombie times and beyond. As someone who didn't do that for awhile, I will tell you that its okay if life forces you to drift apart for a bit but you have to reconnect again. Personally, it took Kiley and I almost 3 years to do that....there were reasons well beyond the kids but we did make it back to each other again and we are stronger than ever because of it.

I appreciate and thank you all for the prayers and thoughts for us tomorrow. I asked Kiley if she wanted me to go with her tomorrow and was surprised that she said no. I'm not really sure what to do about that....I feel like I should be there but if you're not wanted for whatever reason, you have to respect that too. The only silver lining to this is that eventually her thyroid will come out because her body will attack it due to her hyper/hypo thyroid symptoms...so cancer or no cancer it will come out eventually. Plus, I've been told that thyroid cancer doesn't spread through the body like other cancers so removal of the thyroid should cure it completely.

I find it amazing how God can use things like the internet to bring a group of people who would otherwise be strangers together to support and care for each other with triathlon and RL stuff. I was a part of a facebook group last year that read a chronological bible and we set up the group to post about the message of that day. Its so similar to this group its amazing...lots of people started out, only a few ended but the few became pretty close.

Going full circle back to triathlon....Steve and Samantha mentioned a swim coach to me. I actually have a swim coach but she lives almost 2 hours away from me (Springfield Mike) She did my TI workshop two years ago and I've done lessons with her periodically. My plan is to see her once a month or once every other month once I'm sure I'm going to do an IM to try and improve. I do email her with questions and she will answer them but I know there's a huge difference between email communication and getting in the pool. Ideally, I'd love to join a masters group but the groups I'm aware of start at 7AM a few days a week and I have to be at work by 7. Of course the last part of this is I just don't love swimming....I put in some yardage but I find myself getting bored doing it. I'd much rather do a 5-10 mile run versus doing a 2K swim session.

Carol: How's your friend doing? She's starting to get short...that should help her state of mind if she was struggling. Hopefully, she's able to do a re-entry program and get to a halfway house and/or home. I thought of her on Friday because there were a bunch of parole hearings and only 1 out of 20 got paroled. Sadly, that's due to the bad publicity the Mass Parole Board has gotten in the last year and a half...I forget the story now but they've been under political fire.

Any baby updates? As the father of 2 girls, all I can say is good luck. You'll be owned by them within .000001 seconds of meeting them, and it won't get much better.

Another beautiful day here, and I managed a good 25 mile bike ride followed up with a nearly 2 mile walk. The dog didn't enjoy the walk as much as I did. It is definitely getting cold here in the AM, and I wish I'd brought gloves on the ride. felt great to be out there, though.

My oldest has a soccer game 1.5 hours away this afternoon, so my day is dedicated to that starting about 1;45 today. Hope everyone else is having a great day.

I was up early this morn for a 4 mile run. I have a grinding hill near my house that has too much traffic most of the time. But at 6am on Sunday it's pretty clear. So I ran down to the lowest point, up the grinder, down the back side, turn around, back up the back hill, down the grinder, and then turn around. Was just finishing last set and I was blinded by the lights of a car. I adjusted my position in the road but the changing shadows made me miss the change in grade from bridge to asphalt. I went down pretty hard. Thankfully I didn’t break anything and the car was in another lane. I’ve got some pretty good road rash going on. Hands, knees, and one forearm are eck to look at but I’m not too sore. Even hit my chin. This is the first time I’ve gone down running on the road. Fell 3 times on trails and once on the side of the road but not directly on the road before.

Edited by Pink Socks 2013-09-29 12:14 PM

I don't want to foil Mitch's surprise for you all, but I can't hold back any longer! Baby Eva Harris came happily and healthily early this morning! Both baby and momma are happy, healthy and doing great!!

Grats to both mom and dad. Just like not talking about doing an ironman while your wife is 1 week from delivering you might not want to talk about having another baby for a while 8). We will pray that your little darling sleeps well at night.

Thanks for letting us know Jim! I think that it will probably be a while before Mitch can get to the computer to post. Congrats Mitch and family!!!!!

Yay for Mitch and family. What a sweet name! Welcome to the world little Ava! Glad you let us know Jim. I agree that it might be a bit before Mitch get online to give us the news, but when he does he'll be greeted with so much excitement.

Hilarious!

Oh BABY! Congrats Mitch & Family!! Welcome baby Ava! Babies are certainly miracles in my opinion. The miracle of life. Just amazing.

Steve, Hey thanks for the info on HITS Napa. Good to know. Glad your recovery is smooth and your 2014 &'15 races are in the making.

Ran a "Double Road Race" yesterday. 10k + 5k. I went as fast as I could. Happy with the results:
10k= 53:37 Splits: 8:29 8:35 8:33 8:42 8:34 8:39
5K= 27:16 Splits: 8:28 8:38 9:14
Total combined time was 120:53. Which got me 2nd in my age group. Albeit there were only 7 of us. Have a little soreness on upper thighs and really sore abs! Still working on half/full mary training and plan to add in the bike this week. Havent been on the bike since July




Edited by EV3110 2013-09-29 11:42 PM

WooHoo, Congrats, Eleana!!!!!! 2nd in AG is great!

I'm going to post my times for this month a little early. I will probably do some stretches today but for the most part, I'm finished for this month's totals.
Run: 23h 51m - 131.2 Mi
Strength: 4h 00m
Agility: 2h 00m
Walking: 25m

Congrats, Mitch!! Glad to hear everyone is doing well.

Elena - way to go!

Good news from the doctor this morning. There are no signs of cancer on Kiley's thyroid but this will be a yearly occurance until her body destroys the thyroid and she goes on meds for the rest of her life. I guess she will get more and more scar tissue on her thyroid as her body fights against itself (and her thyroid)...the result will be a yearly biopsy to ensure that the scar tissue isn't cancerous. Glad that's behind us but we will be doing it again next year.

What a great Monday!

Jay, so glad that your wife's thyroid can wait a bit longer. I'm sure you guys have looked into it, but can you have it pre-emptively removed?

Welcome to Ava!!! Whew, it's a good thing we got all that advice out there in time . Not hearing from Jared lately makes me think perhaps the big event has happened for him as well.

Elena, wow, you are speedy! Very nice race(s) and congrats on the 2nd AG. Hard to pace something like that, but sure looks like you nailed it! We have one here called "Double Trouble" that's very similar. I liked it last yr because I had time to hit the porta potty between races. Yes indeed, it's the little things .

Steve, glad your race schedule is shaping up well, and that you feel up to planning it out this soon after IMLT. Very good sign!

OK, Pam, we need to talk about why running on your face is not a good idea. Seriously, I'm so sorry that happened. Shakes ones confidence even if there are no serious injuries. Hope you are not too sore.

Had a great time visiting my friend this weekend. Amazing how we talk do nothing but talk, and the time just flies by. Her (grown) daughter finally got to visit her a couple weeks ago, and had a few hassles entering the facility that left her in tears initially. Made me glad all over again that Jay prepped me for that. LOL, this time they confiscated the plastic whistle that was on the key ring w/ my car key (has been on there every time before without issue). Anyway, my friend is doing pretty well. Lack of sleep is the most challenging thing for her, and she is a little anxious about not yet knowing when exactly she will go to the halfway house. She is also anxious about going there because she will be with other levels of offenders. I could go on at length about all of this because it has profoundly altered my perspectives on our justice system, but this is not the place for that.

No exercise this weekend...couldn't swim at the A&M pool due to thunderstorms, and decided to let my foot rest up more before trying to run again. Put my orthotics back in and ran/walked 3 miles this morning. Arch seems to be holding up OK. Slab leak is more complicated than originally thought, and now there appears to be a leak under the A/C unit in the attic (water stain appeared on the ceiling). Plumbers and A/C repair folks are likely going to mess my swim schedule up this week, but hopefully keep us from swimming here at the house! Hubby was sick with a cold all weekend, and is home from work today. Hoping the pot of beef stew I put on this morning will cure him!

Very nice pacing on your race and an AG 2nd to go with it is awsome. Don't underplay podiuming, you did the work, you ran a solid race well paced you did win the prize.

Pam, hope the road rash is healing up ok, nice miles for the month, you have an awsome base to build on for a mary. When is your next long race coming up again?

Glad your wife is still in a good position healthwise (well good for having a health condition).

I overdid things on Saturday despite trying to be very conservative. I walked 2 miles in the morning, but then my wife was going for a jog in the afternoon (3 miles) and well I wanted to join her knowing she was only doing a walk jog thing. Twang at about mile 2.5 into that, walked the rest of the way back at a more conervative pace and Sunday off.

Jay, so glad that it wasn't cancerous!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve, take care of yourself. You don't want to enter the MASH unit again.

As for my next big race, surprise, surprise, it’s changed again. Originally I was planning to register for a HM on Oct 13 and try to PR it. But then I got in Ragnar (Oct 25). And a local HM sprang up and registration is only $15. {It’s a very “no frills” race. Hubby and I may be the only ones in the HM cause most will be doing the mary and the 50K. Still will only have about 35 people total.} So I didn’t register for the Oct 13 race and instead I’m going to do the local HM next weekend. It will be 3 weeks before Ragnar. I’m thinking about going at a comfortably hard pace (effort of 7) and then for the final 5K, open it up if I have anything left. Whatcha think? I can dial it back to a training run. ‘Course after the fall, I’m not sure how different parts of me will feel. Today the scraps weren’t bad but the non-scraped parts of me are so sore. My right shoulder and upper arms are really sore and it just shows they absorbed a lot of the shock. I’m sure the soreness will be gone in another day or two but by the weekend, I don’t know if scabs on the knees will be bad. I’m trying to make sure they stay moist and don’t scab. Oh, that is TMI, isn’t it?

Edited by Pink Socks 2013-09-30 6:29 PM

Jay! fantastic news. I hope you 2 are celebrating.

So, a girl named Ava? Love the name. My 10 year old daughter is named Ava