Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36)lvthgme - 2008-07-28 12:05 PM Rynamite - 2008-07-28 1:57 PM jdwright56 - 2008-07-28 2:56 PM Rynamite - 2008-07-28 1:54 PM akustix - 2008-07-28 2:49 PM Rynamite - 2008-07-28 2:46 PM Sharkie - 2008-07-28 2:43 PM Rynamite - 2008-07-28 11:25 AM Ok, I told her. I explained that I like hanging with her etc., but it got too 'relationship-ish' too quickly, and that's not what I want. I reminded her that I don't want a girlfriend. She said "Yeah, I thought that's what you were gonna say. I really like hanging out with you and if it means anything I'd be sad if we stopped hanging out completely." I just wonder if she's capable of not growing closer? I'm not being arrogant... I just mean that I tend to have a colder heart that most with things like that. So where a normal person would grow attached, I don't. So let me get this straight... You want to hang out with her.. have her as a friend and get to know her.. possibly engage in physical contact with her.. and it has to be COMPLETLEY on your term without any consideration for what she wants or how she feels?? Hey, I've been completely honest with her from the beginning. If she wanted more, then it would have to be cut off. I've been funking about this because I don't know how SHE feels, and would never want to hurt her. However, I did just get done talking with her and it sounds like we're on the same page. Or she just said what she thought you wanted to hear so she wouldn't be cut off from you... -B Well, then that's her own stupid fault, and she's not being honest with me. *shaking head* Don't you understand that it is the firm belief of most women that men can be trained to do as the women folk want? Sure, but that's not true in my case. Longl-term I don't think it's true in most cases. I mean, that it "works." I think it IS true that most women want to change the man. Whoa! This sounds way too familiar! I just went through this with a guy friend and his sorta-GF about a month ago. Both of them kept saying what they thought the other wanted to hear, and heard what they wanted to hear, and kept ignoring the cold hard facts that were so so so clear to everyone else. She was "fine" with being friends, but only because she harbored a huge hope that he'd come around to wanting more. He kept having her over as a friend because he really believed that's all she wanted, even though everyone kept telling him that no one "just stops by" with pizza and beer from 30 miles away. Basically, it took an intervention to stop the cycle between them. And, honestly, neither of them still really understand how they got in that spot. All I can say, having already gone through this, is to be totally honest with her, and with yourself. And really strongly enforce your boundaries. |