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TANgents welcome (#36) (Page 61)
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 2008-07-28 5:30 PM in reply to: #1565598 |
Expert  3324    central Iowa |  Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36)Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 5:16 PM I don't really understand the relationship to be honest.... Maybe they were just enjoying the adventure? Maybe it was totaly pointless to you, but maybe they had some internal battle? Some struggle against an illness or fear (just speculating). Just about everything in life is self-indulgent, no? I'm wouldn't want it any other way.... We try to find a partner so we feel loved and feel good. Or it feels good TO love someone. There is every form of intertainment and passtime. We seek out quality food to eat, etc.... Life is short - make the most of it. Enjoy yourself, and get out of the things you DON'T enjoy. In this case, maybe it's racing.... Stick to guitar, writing, and your kids. Seems like you always have positive things to say about them and only negative about triathlon and racing. Seems kind of obvious where you should focus your attention to me.
'Tis sage advice. If you don't have to do it, and you don't like to do it, then don't do it. It you want to do it, and you like to do it, then do it even if you're "not good" at it. Unless it would cause others to suffer a la American Idol. |
| 2008-07-28 5:30 PM in reply to: #1565622 |
Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 3:26 PM I love playing my guitar, but I don't like the whole aspect of being around other musicians and the egos - which are HUGE (and unjustifiably so) in many cases... one of the main reasons I never pursued a professional music career (actually 2 reasons) a) the smoky atmosphere of clubs and the fact that so many musicians live an unhealthy lifestyle b) the fact that most musicians are dumber than a bag of goose crap. On the kids, well, I only get to see then 2-3x a year and I'm pretty much cut out of their lives as their Dad, at least for the short-term. I've got to do something with all this nervous energy... might as well run or bike. Those are great ways to focus nervous energy IMO, but then they seem to create more stress for you based on what you always post. Maybe it's not the biking or running - but the racing? You can do one without the other. OR, maybe no matter what you do, you get uber competitive and cause yourself anxiety? Edited by Aikidoman 2008-07-28 5:33 PM |
| 2008-07-28 5:32 PM in reply to: #1556731 |
| Davenport, IA | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) By the way, Sharkie...funny thing is she's in the living room right now. Hahahahaha I'm an idiot. |
 2008-07-28 5:33 PM in reply to: #1565636 |
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| 2008-07-28 5:34 PM in reply to: #1565622 |
| Expert 3324 central Iowa | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 5:26 PM I love playing my guitar, but I don't like the whole aspect of being around other musicians and the egos - which are HUGE (and unjustifiably so) in many cases... one of the main reasons I never pursued a professional music career (actually 2 reasons) a) the smoky atmosphere of clubs and the fact that so many musicians live an unhealthy lifestyle b) the fact that most musicians are dumber than a bag of goose crap. On the kids, well, I only get to see then 2-3x a year and I'm pretty much cut out of their lives as their Dad, at least for the short-term. I've got to do something with all this nervous energy... might as well run or bike. Okay Spokester, perhaps I am projecting this, but there seems to be a "perform at this level" in all of your endeavors. How about just doing stuff 'cause you enjoy it. You don't have to be a professional musician just 'cause you like to play the guitar. You don't have to be a marathoner just 'cause you like to run. You could just have fun. I know that sometimes there can be a societal/community/familial push to do everything at some high amateur/semi-pro level, but at the end of the day, it's your life, man. |
| 2008-07-28 5:36 PM in reply to: #1565636 |
| Expert 3324 central Iowa | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Sprint_DA - 2008-07-28 5:32 PM By the way, Sharkie...funny thing is she's in the living room right now. Hahahahaha I'm an idiot. She'd better be exercising, or something. What!? Seriously? Are you just messing with us? Seriously are we going to need some sort of TAN intervention? 'Cause some of us don't live too far from you. |
| 2008-07-28 5:37 PM in reply to: #1565644 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) HA! I quickly perused the "confessions" thread. I can't believe how many times I saw Sharkie! Not sure what she wrote - but that's a whole-lotta-confessing! |
| 2008-07-28 5:39 PM in reply to: #1565644 |
Champion 6285  Beautiful Sonoma County | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) cami bee - 2008-07-28 3:34 PM Spokes - 2008-07-28 5:26 PM I love playing my guitar, but I don't like the whole aspect of being around other musicians and the egos - which are HUGE (and unjustifiably so) in many cases... one of the main reasons I never pursued a professional music career (actually 2 reasons) a) the smoky atmosphere of clubs and the fact that so many musicians live an unhealthy lifestyle b) the fact that most musicians are dumber than a bag of goose crap. On the kids, well, I only get to see then 2-3x a year and I'm pretty much cut out of their lives as their Dad, at least for the short-term. I've got to do something with all this nervous energy... might as well run or bike. Okay Spokester, perhaps I am projecting this, but there seems to be a "perform at this level" in all of your endeavors. How about just doing stuff 'cause you enjoy it. You don't have to be a professional musician just 'cause you like to play the guitar. You don't have to be a marathoner just 'cause you like to run. You could just have fun. I know that sometimes there can be a societal/community/familial push to do everything at some high amateur/semi-pro level, but at the end of the day, it's your life, man.
Well put! |
| 2008-07-28 5:41 PM in reply to: #1565652 |
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| 2008-07-28 5:43 PM in reply to: #1565661 |
| Expert 3324 central Iowa | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Sharkie - 2008-07-28 5:41 PM Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 3:37 PM HA! I quickly perused the "confessions" thread. I can't believe how many times I saw Sharkie! Not sure what she wrote - but that's a whole-lotta-confessing! Readers Digest Version... I had sex in the library in college... I don't have sex with my husband.. he's always got some reason or excuse.. I feel very wishy washy and want to file for separation or divorce... But I keep waiting for something to change and for us to figure a way to work it out... (launch the flames) How long have you been married Sharkalicious? |
| 2008-07-28 5:44 PM in reply to: #1565669 |
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| 2008-07-28 5:46 PM in reply to: #1565661 |
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| 2008-07-28 5:48 PM in reply to: #1565661 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Sharkie - 2008-07-28 3:41 PM Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 3:37 PM HA! I quickly perused the "confessions" thread. I can't believe how many times I saw Sharkie! Not sure what she wrote - but that's a whole-lotta-confessing! Readers Digest Version... I had sex in the library in college... I don't have sex with my husband.. he's always got some reason or excuse.. I feel very wishy washy and want to file for separation or divorce... But I keep waiting for something to change and for us to figure a way to work it out... (launch the flames) Take him to the library..... But seriously - sorry about all of that. I know, it can be rough. I got it once every three months or so with my first wife. After a year and a half of trying to talk about it, I pressed her to discuss what the issue was. Know what she said? She never liked it, and only did it for me.... That made me feel pretty icky.....
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| 2008-07-28 5:48 PM in reply to: #1565672 |
| Expert 3324 central Iowa | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Sharkie - 2008-07-28 5:44 PM cami bee - 2008-07-28 3:43 PM Sharkie - 2008-07-28 5:41 PM Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 3:37 PM HA! I quickly perused the "confessions" thread. I can't believe how many times I saw Sharkie! Not sure what she wrote - but that's a whole-lotta-confessing! Readers Digest Version... I had sex in the library in college... I don't have sex with my husband.. he's always got some reason or excuse.. I feel very wishy washy and want to file for separation or divorce... But I keep waiting for something to change and for us to figure a way to work it out... (launch the flames) How long have you been married Sharkalicious? 10 years.. and we have a 9yo son.. so that complicates the picture.. Have y'all ever done the counseling thing? |
| 2008-07-28 5:48 PM in reply to: #1565630 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2008-07-28 5:52 PM in reply to: #1565679 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 3:46 PM Sharkie - 2008-07-28 3:41 PM Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 3:37 PM HA! I quickly perused the "confessions" thread. I can't believe how many times I saw Sharkie! Not sure what she wrote - but that's a whole-lotta-confessing! Readers Digest Version... I had sex in the library in college... I don't have sex with my husband.. he's always got some reason or excuse.. I feel very wishy washy and want to file for separation or divorce... But I keep waiting for something to change and for us to figure a way to work it out... (launch the flames) You need to get divorced. I'll tell you why. As your child gets older, he's going to see the friction between the two of you grow, especially if you are a very sexually driven person and your SO isn't. I spent 10 years in a *miserable, miserable* situation. Don't end up being one of those parents with a child that doesn't want to have anything to do with either of you because he associates unhappiness with you. Its far better for him to see you in a healthy relationship with another adult - even if that's not his Dad. WRONG! That may be the answer in the end - but if a relationship is worth saving - it may need work... It may need a LOT of work. But if both want it to last, it can be done. You don't give up on it that easy. But you don't do NOTHING either. You can't hope things will change - you have to make changes. If not, that's where the misery comes in..... |
| 2008-07-28 5:53 PM in reply to: #1565688 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 3:48 PM Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 3:30 PM Spokes - 2008-07-28 3:26 PM I love playing my guitar, but I don't like the whole aspect of being around other musicians and the egos - which are HUGE (and unjustifiably so) in many cases... one of the main reasons I never pursued a professional music career (actually 2 reasons) a) the smoky atmosphere of clubs and the fact that so many musicians live an unhealthy lifestyle b) the fact that most musicians are dumber than a bag of goose crap. On the kids, well, I only get to see then 2-3x a year and I'm pretty much cut out of their lives as their Dad, at least for the short-term. I've got to do something with all this nervous energy... might as well run or bike. Those are great ways to focus nervous energy IMO, but then they seem to create more stress for you based on what you always post. Maybe it's not the biking or running - but the racing? You can do one without the other. OR, maybe no matter what you do, you get uber competitive and cause yourself anxiety? You are wise Kung Fu master. Well, stop doing that! But I hear you - I have the same disease (of wanting to be the best at everything I do), but I seem to be able to control it better - must be the meds.... |
| 2008-07-28 6:01 PM in reply to: #1565692 |
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| 2008-07-28 6:06 PM in reply to: #1556731 |
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| 2008-07-28 6:08 PM in reply to: #1565527 |
| Pro 4456 Eureka, Ca | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Aikidoman - 2008-07-28 2:53 PM lvthgme - 2008-07-28 2:49 PM Sprint...I thought about you this weekend after my tri.
1. I will do race report sometime soon. Work was CRAZY today. But...I thought about you training some with that chickie and I did that with my friend who was going to do her first tri...but then she didn't and I had SEVERELY undertrained and boy...did it cost me. Bad idea. 2. I haven't ridden my actual bike much. The tri shorts I wore are shorter than my actual bike shorts. I have bike bag under my seat and it rubbed my upper leg RAW during the ride. Kills. 3. I'll HTFU now. =) someone needs to rub lotion on it.... it puts the lotion in the basket.... |
| 2008-07-28 6:10 PM in reply to: #1565672 |
| Pro 4456 Eureka, Ca | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Sharkie - 2008-07-28 3:44 PM 10 years.. and we have a 9yo son.. so that complicates the picture.. getting a divorce from my ex was the best thing she and i ever did (besides the kids)... kids were happier... we were happier.. and we both did better financially... thats all i have to say about that...
Edited by grdavison 2008-07-28 6:11 PM |
| 2008-07-28 6:15 PM in reply to: #1565726 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2008-07-28 6:27 PM in reply to: #1565732 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 4:15 PM grdavison - 2008-07-28 4:10 PM Sharkie - 2008-07-28 3:44 PM 10 years.. and we have a 9yo son.. so that complicates the picture.. getting a divorce from my ex was the best thing she and i ever did (besides the kids)... kids were happier... we were happier.. and we both did better financially... thats all i have to say about that... x2 x3 - but I didn't have kids. But I will STILL say do everything you can to stick together in this 'disposable' society of ours. My first wife and I tried, she didn't want to continue, so since both of us didn't want it - it ended. I'm better off for it, but if it's worth saving, it's worth the effort. But I would never tell anyone to stay in something they were not happy with if they did everything they could to make it better. There are some things that are just "no win". |
| 2008-07-28 6:30 PM in reply to: #1565711 |
| Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: TANgents welcome (#36) Spokes - 2008-07-28 4:01 PM Dude, Lara has posted about this before... its been going on for quite some time, and that's the context she's coming from. Well, I would need to hear that from her. Neither one of us know all the details. Divorce is final - no coming back from that. It should be the last option IMO. Without know ALL the facts, it shouldn't be suggested IMO. It would be like suggesting surgery for an injury as a first option before trying PT or other methods of recovery. However it's not fair to continue talking about her/this without her - so I'm done. Edited by Aikidoman 2008-07-28 6:32 PM |
| 2008-07-28 6:30 PM in reply to: #1565754 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. Edited by Spokes 2008-07-28 6:33 PM |
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