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2012-11-01 7:48 AM
in reply to: #4478109

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 8:42 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:32 AM
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 7:53 AM

Ann, this article was on the CNN site today. Your hubbie needs to read it. It is about how telling your kid to "just fight back" when bullied doesn't always work.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/31/living/bullying-fight-back/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

It isn't the greatest article but it does have some merit.

I don't think fighting back is the answer. Look at the 2 boys in the picture, the bigger kid is the bully, right? If you put Caleb and the bully in that picture, the boys would still be the same size, but the bully is the smaller kid. COULD Caleb beat him up? Yep. WOULD he? Nope. That's not how he roles.

I was at a soccer game on Saturday and the bully's dad was the ref. I was sitting with one of the moms I knew and we were talking about our sons. I told her about Caleb being bullied, and who the bully was, she didn't believe me. She said "he's such a nice kid". No he isn't. I have never thought that about him. He's the kid that I remember a few years ago hitting the bottoms of water bottles while his teammates were drinking from them at soccer. He gave more than 1 kid a bloody mouth doing that. He would kick all the other kids soccer balls all over the place at the end of practice so the kids would have to go chase them. He is a jerk. He has been a jerk for as long as I've known him. He will always be a jerk. He is the youngest of 4 kids, the 3 others are older and out of high school. They were all good kids. His parents know this kind of behavior isn't acceptable, but that's how he is.

Fighting back would most likely portray Caleb as the bully, because he is easily 4" taller, and 25 pounds heavier than the other kid.

When a kid is a bully at the age that he and Caleb are, the kid has had years of practice being one (as you have seen).  Fighting back physically usually only changes the venue and ups the intensity. It isn't a brawn thing it is a mean thing inside. Too bad the Mom doesn't see it. The kid is probably screwed for life!

He unfortunately HAS had lost of practice.

Here's the thing. Caleb is MY son. He is only 12. I'm not going to throw him out into the world to fend for himself quite yet, that's why I'm helping him by going to the father of the offender. Isn't that what a parent SHOULD do? Telling a kid to fight back is easier said than done. People can only take so much. How many kids have we read/heard about that commited suicide because they were bullied? How many of the kids that took, or tried to take guns to schools were bullied. Neither of these outcomes should EVER be an option, it should NEVER come to that. He is a kid, I am his parent, I think I am doing my job. If it starts up again I will go to the school, because just going to the father isn't getting the job done.



2012-11-01 7:48 AM
in reply to: #4476469

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-10-31 8:55 AM
kns57 - 2012-10-31 9:42 AM

ceilidh - 2012-10-31 8:11 AM Happy Halloween!!!

Woot!! and ditto!

Anyone have any fun plans? We never get any trick-or-treaters. They go to the town of chimney rock and go from store to store. It is pretty fun. However, we are going to go to the Haunted Farm tonight with a few folks.  Evidently they do a really good job.

We live in the middle of a large subdivision.  Years ago I used to get over 100 trick or treaters.  It has wanned, as the kids don't want to go into the cul-de-sacs and they stay on the main drag.  So I only got 11 last night.  My neighbor kid got lucky.  He was my first trick or treater and I told him that when he was all done to stop by and I would dump what I had left into his bag.  And he and his friend did just that.  Hope they like bubble gum and jolly ranchers.
2012-11-01 7:48 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
Let all the bullies come pick on me TopPage!
2012-11-01 8:00 AM
in reply to: #4478054

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 6:52 AM

Morning Ghoulies.

We had altered Halloween plans. Friends of ours had their dogs break out and run away. They are near the main hwy and of course lots of woods. It is hunting season and they were frantic. I took off work a tad early and went to help them look before it got dark. After frantic driving around, hunting through woods, etc. The miscreants were found having the most excellent time of their lives! We all ended up going to the local Inn for dinner. The miscreants were not invited!

Glad the dogs were okay.  Sorry you missed out on the haunted farm.  I was interested to hear about that.

2012-11-01 8:03 AM
in reply to: #4478109

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 7:42 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:32 AM
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 7:53 AM

Ann, this article was on the CNN site today. Your hubbie needs to read it. It is about how telling your kid to "just fight back" when bullied doesn't always work.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/31/living/bullying-fight-back/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

It isn't the greatest article but it does have some merit.

I don't think fighting back is the answer. Look at the 2 boys in the picture, the bigger kid is the bully, right? If you put Caleb and the bully in that picture, the boys would still be the same size, but the bully is the smaller kid. COULD Caleb beat him up? Yep. WOULD he? Nope. That's not how he roles.

I was at a soccer game on Saturday and the bully's dad was the ref. I was sitting with one of the moms I knew and we were talking about our sons. I told her about Caleb being bullied, and who the bully was, she didn't believe me. She said "he's such a nice kid". No he isn't. I have never thought that about him. He's the kid that I remember a few years ago hitting the bottoms of water bottles while his teammates were drinking from them at soccer. He gave more than 1 kid a bloody mouth doing that. He would kick all the other kids soccer balls all over the place at the end of practice so the kids would have to go chase them. He is a jerk. He has been a jerk for as long as I've known him. He will always be a jerk. He is the youngest of 4 kids, the 3 others are older and out of high school. They were all good kids. His parents know this kind of behavior isn't acceptable, but that's how he is.

Fighting back would most likely portray Caleb as the bully, because he is easily 4" taller, and 25 pounds heavier than the other kid.

When a kid is a bully at the age that he and Caleb are, the kid has had years of practice being one (as you have seen).  Fighting back physically usually only changes the venue and ups the intensity. It isn't a brawn thing it is a mean thing inside. Too bad the Mom doesn't see it. The kid is probably screwed for life!

I agree with you both.  I have a feeling that this child was the afterthought and was not given enough attention as a small child, so they acted out in order to get the attention.  But then, I am in GA, not PA, and I don't have any kind of degree that would qualify me for making any kind of determination other than being a mother who raised a son who had depression.  Stick with it Ann.  The best thing of all, you are doing and that is being there for him to talk to.

Edited by kns57 2012-11-01 8:04 AM
2012-11-01 8:05 AM
in reply to: #4478121

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 7:48 AM Let all the bullies come pick on me TopPage!

The Ghoulies will take on all the bullies with you.



2012-11-01 8:05 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

2012-11-01 8:16 AM
in reply to: #4478141

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

2012-11-01 8:46 AM
in reply to: #4478162

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

2012-11-01 9:57 AM
in reply to: #4478229

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:46 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

We are trying to set up a motorcycle ride on Saturday.  We need to take advantage of this weather while we can.
2012-11-01 9:58 AM
in reply to: #4478411

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
kns57 - 2012-11-01 10:57 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:46 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

We are trying to set up a motorcycle ride on Saturday.  We need to take advantage of this weather while we can.

I agree! I am going to play in the garden while the weather is nice. Hopefully a nice outdoor run, too!



2012-11-01 9:59 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
Here is some sucky news. Neal bailed on Key West! Feel free to give him rashers of chit! It will add a few bucks to each of us, I'll figure it out later when I have a brain. I told him not to worry about the current check, but I'm not refunding the first.
2012-11-01 10:15 AM
in reply to: #4478418

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MotoQueen
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

ceilidh - 2012-11-01 9:59 AM Here is some sucky news. Neal bailed on Key West! Feel free to give him rashers of chit! It will add a few bucks to each of us, I'll figure it out later when I have a brain. I told him not to worry about the current check, but I'm not refunding the first.

Darn Neil.  Oh, well.  I have good news.  Frank will be flying down Tuesday with me now rather than the Thursday he was going to come.  The reason is not so great in that our DD and family were to visit with us the whole first week of the month and now they will have to leave on the 1st, so we only get to visit with them for 3 days.  They will be on their move to Texas and since our SIL is going to be shipping out the end of January, DD decided to not homeschool the older two boys and are placing them into a school.  This way she can focus on the younger two during the day.

2012-11-01 10:30 AM
in reply to: #4478418

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

ceilidh - 2012-11-01 10:59 AM Here is some sucky news. Neal bailed on Key West! Feel free to give him rashers of chit! It will add a few bucks to each of us, I'll figure it out later when I have a brain. I told him not to worry about the current check, but I'm not refunding the first.

WHAT??!!??!! I may have to go to Iowa and issue a major azz kicking!

2012-11-01 10:34 AM
in reply to: #4478414

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 10:58 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 10:57 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:46 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

We are trying to set up a motorcycle ride on Saturday.  We need to take advantage of this weather while we can.

I agree! I am going to play in the garden while the weather is nice. Hopefully a nice outdoor run, too!

I was just looking at the weather for Monday and saw that now on Sunday the high is 46.

I'm still going to go hiking, I'll just have to pack differently.

I'm bummed that I'll have to wait until Christmas to use my new backpack. I signed my husband up to receive emails from Black Diamond. Once he gets the 15% off coupon I'm ordering the pack I want, and he's paying for it. I'll get plenty of use out of it in 2013 and beyond though.

2012-11-01 10:51 AM
in reply to: #4478498

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 11:34 AM
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 10:58 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 10:57 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:46 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

We are trying to set up a motorcycle ride on Saturday.  We need to take advantage of this weather while we can.

I agree! I am going to play in the garden while the weather is nice. Hopefully a nice outdoor run, too!

I was just looking at the weather for Monday and saw that now on Sunday the high is 46.

I'm still going to go hiking, I'll just have to pack differently.

I'm bummed that I'll have to wait until Christmas to use my new backpack. I signed my husband up to receive emails from Black Diamond. Once he gets the 15% off coupon I'm ordering the pack I want, and he's paying for it. I'll get plenty of use out of it in 2013 and beyond though.

Nice of you to save him 15% . It is only 2 months to wait. You can do it!



2012-11-01 10:56 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Elite
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
Good Morning Ghoulies!  I only work half a day today!  I have plans for housework and jogging and reading.  So if I run out of time, I just may have to jettison the vacuuming! Wink
2012-11-01 10:59 AM
in reply to: #4478083

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Elite
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 5:21 AM
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 7:52 AM

Morning Ghoulies.

We had altered Halloween plans. Friends of ours had their dogs break out and run away. They are near the main hwy and of course lots of woods. It is hunting season and they were frantic. I took off work a tad early and went to help them look before it got dark. After frantic driving around, hunting through woods, etc. The miscreants were found having the most excellent time of their lives! We all ended up going to the local Inn for dinner. The miscreants were not invited!

1) bad dogs - shame.... shame

2) I'd have been frantic, too!

3) Good on you, Robin, for going to help!!!

4) WOOT for finding them!

5) Woot for dinner at the local Inn!!!

 

x2  So glad you found them well

2012-11-01 11:01 AM
in reply to: #4478544

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 11:51 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 11:34 AM
ceilidh - 2012-11-01 10:58 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 10:57 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:46 AM
kns57 - 2012-11-01 9:16 AM
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 8:05 AM

Good morning, Kendra.

What's happening down south?

Let's see. 

Only two of us dressed up at work yesterday.  The rest are party poopers.

Only had 11 trick or treaters come by the house.

Was happy to see that the kids from next door (the house with the dog that bit my son) came and trick or treated at our house.  If they did not, then I know that any kind of relationship with my immediate neighbors is doomed.  At least now I feel we might be able to move forward.

I think you should be telling the school. 

It is COLD, but tomorrow we are supposed to hit the 70's

I wish we would get trick or treaters.

I will be at the middle school next week to pick up the boys report card. I may stop by and see if I can talk with the guidance counselor and/or principal then.

It is only to be in the upper 40's - low 50's the next couple of days here, then Sunday it could hit 70. I am trying to decide where I want to hike on Sunday.

We are trying to set up a motorcycle ride on Saturday.  We need to take advantage of this weather while we can.

I agree! I am going to play in the garden while the weather is nice. Hopefully a nice outdoor run, too!

I was just looking at the weather for Monday and saw that now on Sunday the high is 46.

I'm still going to go hiking, I'll just have to pack differently.

I'm bummed that I'll have to wait until Christmas to use my new backpack. I signed my husband up to receive emails from Black Diamond. Once he gets the 15% off coupon I'm ordering the pack I want, and he's paying for it. I'll get plenty of use out of it in 2013 and beyond though.

Nice of you to save him 15% . It is only 2 months to wait. You can do it!

It is a $260 backpack. Plus I think I'm ordering myself a smaller one at the same time.

54 SLEEPS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!

2012-11-01 11:02 AM
in reply to: #4478564

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

deehtz - 2012-11-01 11:56 AM Good Morning Ghoulies!  I only work half a day today!  I have plans for housework and jogging and reading.  So if I run out of time, I just may have to jettison the vacuuming! Wink

It's good to have your priorities in order.

2012-11-01 11:10 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Elite
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
We wound up having 71 trick or treaters between about 5:30 and 8:15.  That is about the number we have had the last few years, but it was done earlier this year.  Which was fine with me.  The dogs handled it all very well.  Little Peanut went to the door every time.  She loves kids!  She didn't bark or try to jump up or run out the door.  She just wagged her whole body and loved the pats that she got!  Hanna was out back, but never barked or carried on even with all the people walking by and the doorbell ringing.  Good dogs!


2012-11-01 11:12 AM
in reply to: #4478591

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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.

deehtz - 2012-11-01 12:10 PM We wound up having 71 trick or treaters between about 5:30 and 8:15.  That is about the number we have had the last few years, but it was done earlier this year.  Which was fine with me.  The dogs handled it all very well.  Little Peanut went to the door every time.  She loves kids!  She didn't bark or try to jump up or run out the door.  She just wagged her whole body and loved the pats that she got!  Hanna was out back, but never barked or carried on even with all the people walking by and the doorbell ringing.  Good dogs!

That's GREAT!

2012-11-01 11:13 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Elite
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
I see we are on page 77 now and have had this thread since July.  Is there still a limit on pages?
2012-11-01 11:14 AM
in reply to: #4478593

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Elite
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washington state
Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
ironannekidd - 2012-11-01 9:12 AM

deehtz - 2012-11-01 12:10 PM We wound up having 71 trick or treaters between about 5:30 and 8:15.  That is about the number we have had the last few years, but it was done earlier this year.  Which was fine with me.  The dogs handled it all very well.  Little Peanut went to the door every time.  She loves kids!  She didn't bark or try to jump up or run out the door.  She just wagged her whole body and loved the pats that she got!  Hanna was out back, but never barked or carried on even with all the people walking by and the doorbell ringing.  Good dogs!

That's GREAT!

Yes, now that they are 2 and 2 1/2 years old, I see such good improvement in their manners! 

2012-11-01 11:15 AM
in reply to: #4325082

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Elite
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Subject: RE: GHOULIES moving towards the islands.
Oops, my "go to work" alarm is going off, so Happy November everyone!  See you later!
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