This race was not originally on my race calendar for 2008 because I
am doing the Deuces Wild Oly next week (my first oly distance). As
the oly got closer, I started having panic attacks about the swim
portion(which is nothing new for me!) and specifically, wearing my
wetsuit. I contacted my coach and told her about my
anxiety, and she suggested I get a relay team together and for me to
do the swim portion. This was a new concept for me, because in the
past, the only reason I would get a relay team together would be for
the opposite reason, to AVOID doing the swim. Well, I took her
advice and the relay team was born, team name: Panic Attack!

Race morning I was actually pretty calm. I got my wetsuit on and
headed toward the lake/pond/green monster. Rather than stand around
and watch, I just jumped right in and got acclimated to the water and
my wetsuit. My coache had suggested that when the gun goes off, to
count to 10 and let the pack go on, then start swimming. I did just
that which kept my heart rate down. I started out slow and tried to
get into a rhythm. I struggled a bit and did some backstroke. I
just kept looking for the big orange bouy at the turnaround. The
negative thoughts kept rearing their ugly head and I was convincing
myself that there was NO WAY I could ever complete an Oly swim next
week. But I knew that if I quit now I would be letting my relay team
down and had a responsibility to them. When I finally reached the
orange bouy I started to gain some confidence and felt like I was
going to get through this. At that point I started looking for
targets to pass. I would see a white cap in front of me and pass it,
then a green cap, and so on. I think I passed about 4 people. I was
sooooo happy to see the finish line. I flopped on the sidewalk as I
got out of the lake, I must have looked like a beached whale. I got
my balance and remembered that Jennifer was waiting to go on her bike. I started running toward the transition area and high fived her and off she
went! Final thoughts: I did it! I didn't have the wetsuit issues
and even though my swim was slow, I wasn't the last one out of the
water, and I didn't quit! Thank you to my relay team for getting me through this