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having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :(
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| Other Resources | My Cup of Joe » having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( | Rss Feed  |
 2005-02-07 10:46 AM |
molto veloce mama  9311   |  Subject: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :(i need to vent.  signed up for two oly length races this year. jun 5th and aug 7th. i already paid for these races. since we're a one income home, we don't have a lot of extra money around to pay for race fees. we have to plan carefully. anyway, just found out that we have not one, but TWO family weddings out of state on june 4th (one in illinois and one in ohio). there is no question about where we will be june 4th - my cousin's wedding in ohio. she is like a sister to me, was my maid of honor, and there is no WAY i would miss that wedding. BUT, i am also very disappointed that i won't be able to race that weekend, won't be able to get a refund with which i could pay for another race on a different date (maybe i could sell a kidney?), AND...i know that my husband and i will be getting a lecture from his mom for missing the OTHER family wedding. another cousin is getting married aug 6th, again out of state. we aren't close at all, so i only have minor guilt for skipping that wedding in order to do the other oly/int race i'm registered for. dns'ing both races would be more than i could handle. we're also getting some pressure to travel out to oregon this summer to see my father in law. back when we had two incomes and no kids, we would LOVE to go...but we haven't had a family vacation of our own choosing in years. between buying our first home, having our two kids, and having both brothers-in-law get hitched (again, out of state) last year, we haven't had the time or money to take a vacation of our own. we're still paying off our trip to vegas last year for one of the bil's weddings. again, no question that we would be there...but we took a huge sigh of relief that there were no more siblings to get married and could actually do something fun w/ my husband's limited vacation time this year. but, don't forget the cousins! ack! i'm the kind of person who NEEDS a certain amount of time outdoors w/o a ton of people around, so the idea of swapping tris for weddings, or a family backpacking trip to glacier for a family reunion in oregon, well...i get twitchy!  i hope i don't sound down on family...i LOVE weddings, and love all these people. its just hard financially and time wise. guess you can't make everyone happy all of the time (including me! ). |
| 2005-02-07 11:17 AM in reply to: #113787 |
Expert 1013  White House, TN | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Sounds like you have the frustrations of being "weird." [begin sarcastic tone] You don't want to spend all your time with your parents or your husband's parents? You can't make the commitment to be at your cousin's wedding? You want to invest your limited vacation time in your kids? What kind of sick freak are you? [end sarcasm] You're a "freak" who makes her husband, her kids, her FAMILY more important than someone else's. I say, good for you for wanting to spend time, money, vacation with YOUR family and not your parents'. I know it's hard to train families to believe this; I've been trying for almost 8 years now. It's hard to teach them that MY family, which is just my wife and I, is a little more important than my sibs, cousing, aunts, uncles, etc. Don't let anyone tell you that you're selfish; you're giving yourself to your kids and that's great! Keep on being weird! YOUR family (husband, kids) will thank you later. |
| 2005-02-07 12:33 PM in reply to: #113787 |
Champion 7704 Williamston, Michigan | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Contact the race director. They may let you transfer the race fee to next year. |
| 2005-02-07 2:55 PM in reply to: #113813 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Thanks for understanding. Hey, do you want to call my mother-in-law for me and explain? Actually, my husband is going to call her and hopefully the s*** won't hit the fan. Then again, maybe we need her to get mad so that she can see, yet again, that we have a commitment to our own family first, and equal commitments to the extended families. |
| 2005-02-07 2:56 PM in reply to: #113852 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Thanks for the idea. After checking the race page and seeing that there are no refunds, I emailed to see if I could either shift my payment to another athlete OR register for 06. |
| 2005-02-07 8:29 PM in reply to: #113787 |
Extreme Veteran 445 pinoy city | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( sorry about your predicament. I would feel the same way too, having paid for the tri, As a kidney recipient(transplant) and as your fellow triathlete, dont even think of selling your kidney. (he-he).seriously , i think the ace director would understand you as apaying customer |
| 2005-02-08 8:58 AM in reply to: #114102 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( sorry about the kidney comment. it must get annoying for you to hear that phrase. i did contact the race director to see if i could use my payment for another event (that group does several through out the year), another athlete, or the same race in '06. |
| 2005-02-08 9:03 AM in reply to: #113787 |
| Philadelphia, south of New York and north of DC | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Good for you and your family for trying to live on one income. I know how tough it is. You have some very lucky kids! |
| 2005-02-08 3:34 PM in reply to: #113787 |
Frugal Gear Geek 2199 having fun with the kids | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( In my family we have a saying " we have no in-laws just out-laws". If in-laws want to see you sooooo much invite them over. Do not feel selfish. It is ok to think your in home family first. We battle at X-mas over volume of toys. Next year the famliy needs to build us an addition before gifts. Anyway good luck. |
| 2005-02-09 2:56 PM in reply to: #113813 |
Extreme Veteran 573 Sherman Oaks, CA | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Hawkeye - 2005-02-07 11:17 AM Sounds like you have the frustrations of being "weird." [begin sarcastic tone] You don't want to spend all your time with your parents or your husband's parents? You can't make the commitment to be at your cousin's wedding? You want to invest your limited vacation time in your kids? What kind of sick freak are you? [end sarcasm] You're a "freak" who makes her husband, her kids, her FAMILY more important than someone else's. I say, good for you for wanting to spend time, money, vacation with YOUR family and not your parents'. I know it's hard to train families to believe this; I've been trying for almost 8 years now. It's hard to teach them that MY family, which is just my wife and I, is a little more important than my sibs, cousing, aunts, uncles, etc. Don't let anyone tell you that you're selfish; you're giving yourself to your kids and that's great! Keep on being weird! YOUR family (husband, kids) will thank you later. WELL SAID! I TOTALLY agree with you 100000%! My family has a hard time understanding that my husband and I and our dog (and now kitten) is our family and the time we spend with one another is important. |
| 2005-02-09 3:22 PM in reply to: #113787 |
| Member 267 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( I have to agree with above. We live near zero of our relatives and my wife's side of the family will try to pressure us into visits. Well, sadly, it is a two way street. You have to visit me to get visited and that is the end of the story. Unless you have some very darn good reason. Like a medical condition, etc. You have to do what is right for you and your now immediate family. I notice it is the one's who pressure the most about visiting are the ones who never visit in return. |
| 2005-02-09 3:43 PM in reply to: #113787 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( thanks for all of the support, everyone. feeling much better now. actually, as of monday night i was out of my funk. found out that one set of brother-in-law and sister-in-law are also not going out to oregon because they can't afford it (two incomes, no kids, but are hunting for a bigger house). what a relief. since we're the only ones with kids on my husband's side of the family, we often feel like we're the big party poopers when we have to decline a trip, go home early, get to bed earlier, etc. as for the weddings - i am going to miss the first oly, but not the second. that makes it easier for me to deal with. since the second is one i pledged for team lung, it makes it easier to say 'we can't make it'. emailed my husband's cousin FIRST, before talking to the mil, and she (the cousin) was completely cool about it. still haven't talked to the mil...but i think i'll let dh do that (picking up my gelatinous spine off the floor). as for the in-laws visiting...dh's dad comes out about once a year. we saw him twice last year since both of my brothers-in-law got hitched last year. he has never put much pressure on us to visit, and has been out here more than we've been out there. last time we went was when i was pregnant with our first. we would have gone out last year, but after the two weddings we had no time or money to go (not that we really have the money now!). mother in law is much closer (illinois), and she's not up her much more than fil (oregon). she expects us to call and visit, but as with many of you who replied, she doesn't do the same. very frustrating. there's also that lack of control since its in-laws. i can tell my parents and brother when they piss me off or make me crazy, and we work it out and move on. not so easily done w/ the in-laws. anyway, thanks to everyone who replied. i hope i wasn't being a big baby, but i guess we can all be big babies once in a while, right? |
| 2005-02-10 4:14 PM in reply to: #113787 |
Frugal Gear Geek 2199 having fun with the kids | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( when it comes to money consider sending parts of the family on vacation with out you. Last year I went to visit my Grandmother in Chi with my daughter. I left my wife and son home. This was a logisical and finacial decision. I knew he was not going to sit on the plane and since it was a 3 day trip my wife and I decided to keep it simple. We borowed a car and stayed at family's houses. Good luck with it all and I am glad you are keeping 1 oly. BTW did you get a response from the first oly race director? |
| 2005-02-10 4:31 PM in reply to: #115512 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( we've thought about that. my parents have offered to take our older daughter with them to the second wedding (which is the same weekend as the tri i'm still going to do). she's be 4 by then, but i think i would be too stressed out thinking about my baby being so far off. she's at grandma's for a few days, 3 hours a way, and i worry...can't imagine how i'd feel if she were three states away! just not used to it. maybe when they're older though. heard back from the organization that handles the registrations (not active, but a fairly large local group). they passed me along to the race director. haven't heard back yet. |
| 2005-02-10 4:36 PM in reply to: #115512 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( |
| 2005-02-16 1:23 AM in reply to: #113787 |
| Member 26 Alabama | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Bummer. I hope you can find some means to assuage those feelings of disappointment. Sometimes, you need a little time for yourself ... especially when you are a parent! I liked the suggestion of contacting the race officials. A little crying could go a long way! Hang in there. - R |
| 2005-02-16 10:49 PM in reply to: #113787 |
Regular 71 East Lansing, MI | Subject: RE: having a hard day - must forfeit registration for first oly :( :( :( Sometimes the company putting on the race puts on a bunch of races throughout the year, and since it is so early they might let you transfer to another race this season instead of just the same race next year. |
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