Clyde/Athena Frustrations (Page 2)

Ha!  The 'old and fat' AG!!!!    But I am proud of that....

At silverman, people would pass me on the bike, and I would say, "that seems right", but then when I passed them on the run?  I was stoked.  When things were bleak, but I had someone who looked like a much better athlete in my sights, I would dig deep and pass with a little gusto....  with a casual "good job" (even though I was hurting on the inside!)

Edited by Aikidoman 2009-02-26 5:46 PM

I've kind of resigned myself that being part of the under 25 crowd and being heavy means being dead last. I've seen plenty of girls doing their first triathlon who just blow past me in their tiny booty shorts without breaking a sweat...and it kills me and makes me feel even more self conscious about every inch of my body which has to be crammed into a mens tri suit because I'm not petite enough to fit a womens tri suit.

I just wish that I could take off about 50 lbs for race day and see how I go with my current health level. Just to see. Just to validate that I don't totally suck at this.

I totally understand where you are coming from Akidoman -- I will never be at the top, and if I do podium, it is because no one bothered to finish. Most of the time, I am pretty happy with what I am doing. Most of the time. But every once in a while it gets driven home that I will never be taking one of those awards home and it does bother me a little bit.

My mother has asked me several times since I started doing tris why I am doing it if I am not going to win. I keep trying to tell her that it isn't about "winning" - it is more about my own self-respect and determination. Last year, I came in dead last in my 3 olympic distance races. The Tempe International kicked my butt, and as I came across the finish line, the RDs were handing out the awards. I was about to drop, and luckily, a friend of mine (who got an award) saw me and ran over and took my timing chip off. In Deuces Wild, I met the sweeper on both the ride and the run. By some fluke, no one showed up that day, so because I finished the race, I got third in the Athena class. I admit, I was a tiny bit bitter about that. The third race was Blue Water in Parker, and there were 40mph winds all through the ride. I finished it. Many didn't bother to finish because they were wiped out by the wind. That jerk who runs Mountain Man events had already taken down the timers by the time I was done, and so I had no times for my bike or my run, but I still marched down and got my finishing medal. Will I be doing races this year? Yup. Will I come in DFL again? Maybe. Is there a corner of me that is thinking "G-D, can't I just once get called up for an award?" Yes. Does it make any difference in what I will actually do? No. I think you are on the same wavelength as well. It is irritating at times, since we (Athena and Clydesdale athletes) are putting in more time (sometimes) and way more effort (b/c of our size) than those skinny little people. They will never realize it unless they actually experience it.

Most of the time, I am happy with the respect that I am given as a finisher, but sometimes I am a little jealous of those who get to take home some hardware or proof of their hard work and committment to the sport besides being totally exhausted.

Leslie

Thanks for sharing... 

what gets me sometimes is that I don't think some of my  friends understand how different it is for a 42y/o 220LB + guy vs some 25 y/o 150lb ex college runner...   They will try to console me when they compare my time vs the winner's time, or just the top AG.   I"ve placed in the Clydes at a few local events, and they think that means I am a top AG or over all person.. silly people

I can explain that they are pro's, Top AG, or just young punks    and I happy for what I can do, but i'm not upset that I didn't win, just that I thought I could have done better at some aspect out on the course.

But yea,, some days I just think I have more could have more fun training and just doing a couple local events a year, instead of an IM, HIM and lots of local events.. I"d save some cash too

Edited by Gaarryy 2009-03-03 11:23 PM