Here you go:

...So my wife, our female friend (gender is important here), and myself head out the day prior to the event to walk the 2.5 mile run course.  It winds through a neighborhood and we were told that a bunch of people got lost last year.  So about 1/4 mile into it this guy comes riding up on his bike and asks us if we are walking the course.  So not knowing what we are getting into, we reply yes and tell him that we drew a map off the one posted in race HQ (mistake #1).  So we're talking about the usual tri stuff and somehow the guy manages to fit into one sentence that HE trains a tri team (really? You look fairly out of shape to me.) and he did 10 events last year and he is pretty much the be all end all of all things tri.  I noticed that he had a pretty nice set of Kryserium (sp) wheels (mistake #2) and the first thing out of his mouth is that for $800 bucks I could have a set too.  Whatever.  Now we are starting to get the picture and decide to move on.  Remember, the three of us are on foot and he is on his Fuji with the $800 wheels (not that this is alot for wheels, but he really seemed impressed by them).  He also had on white cotton socks pulled up mid-calf, but I'll leave his fashion faux-pas out for now...

So we say good bye and continue walking.  "Oh no, I'm coming with you guys.  You have the map".  Doh, Newman!!!, and WTF all at the same time.  At this point we are all still in too nice a mood to tell him what we are thinking.  I'm pretty sure he was half hitting on our friend, but it was such a poor attempt I couldn't really tell.  He kept on muttering something about her joining his tri team that HE trained.  Now we start walking really s-l-o-w in the hopes that he will just take off.  Which he starts to do.  And then he circles back (damn).  When he got back he found us talking about the pool temp.  He stopped (litteraly) our conversation to inform us that he had used his digital thermometer to measure the pool temp, and it was in fact 74 deg, and not the 85 deg they advertised.  Apparantly he brought this up with management and they didn't care that he had "hit the surface with his $300 laser 8 times and he was certain they were incorrect".  (Who the hell travels to a sprint tri in a heated pool with a laser?).  As an aside, I got in that pool the next morning and you could have made pasta in it, but I digress...

So now we are really annoyed that he won't go away, that he keeps on putting a price tag on things, that he won't shut up, and that he is doing the absolutely worst possible picking-up of a woman I have ever seen.  So we walk even slower, and start pointing out that the route is clearly marked (not really) by these little white arrows painted on the street, and start talking a little louder about things that would be of no interest to the tri master and his wheels.  Eventually we stopped and resigned ourselves not to go on until he left.  Fortunately, we were on top of a hill, and he was at the bottom, and I don't think he wanted to ride back up.  So he shouted to us for directions back, which we shouted down to him, and he finally took off.  We waited a few minutes to make sure he was really gone.

I did see him the next day during T2 as he was preparing to go out on the run- bare chested (except for the fur-sweater), overweight, tri-shorts and with BLACK socks pulled up mid-calf.  I gave him a wide berth so that he didn't see me.  I could almost smell the Drakkar Noir as he disappeared down the chute...

eta:  I hope this wasn't O'Dogg.  Then I'm just gonna feel silly...

...they were $800.

You do kind of fit the description.  And I can imagine you wearing cologne during an event.  Hmm... 

Sorry it took me so long to read that story Mike.  But it was worth the wait!   I don't know which was better, the RR or the day before!  (BTW, I also have Ksyrium wheels, and they were only $500!)

Great job on the race and I just LMAO on the story.  Thanks for sharing.

Sharon