Don't tell her I told you...
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Master ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Guess whos wife is signed up to take some swim lessons? About a year and a half ago my wife came down with Lyme's disease and was in the hospital for about a month. I began going to the Y to be a good example for her. Long story short I got into the Tri thing and it looks like she is about to make the jump herself. |
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Iron Donkey![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() That's great to hear! |
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Pro ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Congratulations for your wife. But did she find you running off to the Y and getting fit to be an inspiring role model? Or was she PO'd that while she is laying in a hospital feeling like cr*p, you are running off and enjoying yourself being all active and getting more fit? I think there are a lot of times we tell ourselves we are doing this to be a good role model, or inspire those close to us, but often we are actually spending LESS time with those we care about, and end up driving them further rather than closer to us. It is a lot easier, for example, for me to feel inspired by Lance getting through his cancer, then getting on the bike and training like a madman to take to TdF repeatedly since I don't have to live with the guy. If I had sacrificed my freedom and devoted myself to getting him through the worst patches of his cancer and subsequent chemo, and he ended up ditching me to ride 10 hours a day, leaving himself with nothing to spend on our relationship (if I was his significant other, and a woman...), I would feel kind of pissed, not inspired. And yet, I don't think Lance really had a choice - he was driven by his nature, as are we in many cases. |
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Expert![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Congratulations! Hopefully this can be a bonding experience for the both of you. |
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Extreme Veteran ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() gald your wife is better, keep encouraging her:-) my hubby just started training for his first sprint in the past 2 weeks, its great to see him make such an effort. Edited by wee scotty 2010-02-04 12:36 PM |
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Expert ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() gearboy - 2010-02-04 11:51 AM Congratulations for your wife. But did she find you running off to the Y and getting fit to be an inspiring role model? Or was she PO'd that while she is laying in a hospital feeling like cr*p, you are running off and enjoying yourself being all active and getting more fit? I think there are a lot of times we tell ourselves we are doing this to be a good role model, or inspire those close to us, but often we are actually spending LESS time with those we care about, and end up driving them further rather than closer to us. It is a lot easier, for example, for me to feel inspired by Lance getting through his cancer, then getting on the bike and training like a madman to take to TdF repeatedly since I don't have to live with the guy. If I had sacrificed my freedom and devoted myself to getting him through the worst patches of his cancer and subsequent chemo, and he ended up ditching me to ride 10 hours a day, leaving himself with nothing to spend on our relationship (if I was his significant other, and a woman...), I would feel kind of pissed, not inspired. And yet, I don't think Lance really had a choice - he was driven by his nature, as are we in many cases. I think you really have to be in a caregivers shoes in order to be able to understand what he was doing. My husband spent 4 weeks in a hospital and then 6 weeks at home confined to a hospital bed and several months of recovery few years ago. While it is a nice thought that you would be able to spend every waking moment with that person, life doesn't stop at home. My work was fortunate enough to let me work from home, and come into work (1.5hours from the hospital) for a few hours before visiting hours began. I also had 2 dogs that I had to make sure were taken care of, a house to keep up, and myself to keep mentally sane and healthy so I could be there for my husband during his recovery. He would tell me every day to go out and go for a run or a ride because I needed an outlet for the stress that I had to deal with. Once he came home it was even worse, he couldn't walk or move himself (2 broken legs, 2 broken arms, broken pelvis). He outweighed me by 100lbs and I was the one left to do everything for him... To not get even 30min to myself to collect my thoughts and relax, would have driven us apart. Just offering a different point of view.... |
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Master ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() gearboy - 2010-02-04 11:51 AM Congratulations for your wife. But did she find you running off to the Y and getting fit to be an inspiring role model? Or was she PO'd that while she is laying in a hospital feeling like cr*p, you are running off and enjoying yourself being all active and getting more fit? I think there are a lot of times we tell ourselves we are doing this to be a good role model, or inspire those close to us, but often we are actually spending LESS time with those we care about, and end up driving them further rather than closer to us. It is a lot easier, for example, for me to feel inspired by Lance getting through his cancer, then getting on the bike and training like a madman to take to TdF repeatedly since I don't have to live with the guy. If I had sacrificed my freedom and devoted myself to getting him through the worst patches of his cancer and subsequent chemo, and he ended up ditching me to ride 10 hours a day, leaving himself with nothing to spend on our relationship (if I was his significant other, and a woman...), I would feel kind of pissed, not inspired. And yet, I don't think Lance really had a choice - he was driven by his nature, as are we in many cases. Maybe I should have clarified. We were visiting family up north when she got sick. We were about 500 miles from our new home. I was with her in the hospital 18+ hours everyday for all but three of the days she was in there (I had to return for employment reasons). After the month in the hospital, she had about 2 weeks of rehab in a facility. On her first visit to the new Primary care Dr. he told her to join the Y to get toxins out of her system and told me that I had type 2 Diabetes, and needed to lose about 20 lbs. Joining was a mutal decision. I got bored with weight lifting and began spin classes and swimming. I sheduled my work out while she was sleeping so that I would not take away from our time together. |
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Pro ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() verga - 2010-02-04 5:11 PM Maybe I should have clarified. We were visiting family up north when she got sick. We were about 500 miles from our new home. I was with her in the hospital 18+ hours everyday for all but three of the days she was in there (I had to return for employment reasons). Well, that is certainly puts a different spin on things. It sounds like you both needed to join, and make some healthy lifestyle changes. Which sounds better than "my wife was sick, so I ditched her to go to the gym". |
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Pro ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Shortyy - 2010-02-04 4:36 PM I think you really have to be in a caregivers shoes in order to be able to understand what he was doing. My husband spent 4 weeks in a hospital and then 6 weeks at home confined to a hospital bed and several months of recovery few years ago. While it is a nice thought that you would be able to spend every waking moment with that person, life doesn't stop at home. My work was fortunate enough to let me work from home, and come into work (1.5hours from the hospital) for a few hours before visiting hours began. I also had 2 dogs that I had to make sure were taken care of, a house to keep up, and myself to keep mentally sane and healthy so I could be there for my husband during his recovery. He would tell me every day to go out and go for a run or a ride because I needed an outlet for the stress that I had to deal with. Once he came home it was even worse, he couldn't walk or move himself (2 broken legs, 2 broken arms, broken pelvis). He outweighed me by 100lbs and I was the one left to do everything for him... To not get even 30min to myself to collect my thoughts and relax, would have driven us apart. Just offering a different point of view.... See my post above- but to offer clarification, I am not advocating spending 24/7 with one's partner, even under the best of circumstances. I think that kind of closeness is generally a recipe for disaster, with more possible problems when one person is sick and the other is worn out. Taking time for one's self to clear one's head, or to channel the emotional exhaustion to some physical outlet is a good thing. And it may make it a lot easier to be available emotionally as well as physically. But to do it for those reasons and then claim it is because you want to inspire your partner, or be a role model, is disingenuous. Better to be honest about the motivation in that circumstance - otherwise it risks coming across very differently. The OP clarified that the new PCP recommended that BOTH he and his wife needed to start to make some healthy changes - in which case the "inspiration" or "role model" approach is quite legitimate. That is more of a "we both need to make changes - I will start, and then you can follow" as opposed to "I am doing healthy things - you should too". The former says "we are in the same boat", while the latter says "you should be more like me". |
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Veteran![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Gearboy- Lighten up! How can you start making wild assumptions over a simple paragraph and statement? And to correlate it with Lance and his life? |
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![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() kdlsch111 - 2010-02-04 6:44 PM Gearboy- Lighten up! How can you start making wild assumptions over a simple paragraph and statement? And to correlate it with Lance and his life? Dude, don't diss on Lance, he is awesome. |
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Veteran ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() That's great! Congratulations to both of you!! |
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Veteran![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Joshboots- Did you read the above thread? I wasnt the one dissing. Quite the opposite. |
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Pro ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ![]() Verga - congrats! About 6 months after I started running my wife started running. Last week she wondered where she could swim at. Not sure if she will do tri's but both of us being active is definitely a good role model for the kids. Good luck! |