ROBIN, ANN, KIM, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your wonderful words of support and encouragement.
ive definately did a lot of thinking especially yesturday when it was DEAD at the Y...my friends there/that i work with helped me talk through some things.
and like all the GHOULIES, they love me to pieces.
more than anything i needed to give myself permission to not have my sh^t together.
i realized in the process of this conversation that i really had this mindset that i needed to do this seperation thing BETTER than the average person.
you know. why not? im a f'cking marriage and family therapist, this is my job to help people through these sorts of transitions, so i should know better than anyone how to do it....
i realize that i was 'driving' myself really hard and had UNBELIEVABLY HIGH expectations of my self, which was carrying over into my training.
dealing well w what is happening in my life meant that i was ALSO going to have a KICK AZZ TRI SEASON.
right??
of course.
ok. thats just ludicrious.
not to say that i wont do well at anything i set my mind to, and if i choose to enter an event/race you know im gonna give it what i have to give....
but....
what my friends helped me do
(present company included
) is to lift any/all expectations that i have of myself for this season.
im gonna keep certain events on the calendar, but in terms of expectations for this season, im just gonna shelve them.
im gonna workout for sure - its SO helpful mentally and physically - but in terms of focus/goals et al, im just gonna do what i can do when i can do it, and then leave the rest.
well just go with how im feeling.
right now im not the least bit interested in running, but im loving spinning.
and its supposed to be sunny and warmer on Friday
(thats the rumor anyway
) i was SO excited about thinking about riding outside.....
so im just gonna go with my gut/heart, and do what i feel....
AND definately do some self-care along the way as well.
thanks you guys for helping me out!
stacieb