Reflections on Baton Rouge

"And the discrimination towards women was a shocker, as well.  I had one lab tech tell me " A pretty little thing like you shouldn't be doing anything but feedin' babies", after he had screwed up my babies lab work and I called him on it. I proceeded to tell him that, "In Colorado, men don't speak to women like that."  Many of the female nurses felt that women shouldn't hold office, be police officers, paramedics, firemen, or in construction. That they just weren't capable of it and it put them in danger."

Well, Shoo Doggy! Now I know why my ex loves Louisiana so much! He doesn't cotton much to a women having much power, personal or otherwise. He must be as happy as a pig in mud, pig that he is.

Hey Melanie - thank you so much for volunteering your time and skills to help out with this crisis.  I'm sure you made a huge difference in the lives of many.

I understand your culture shock.  I lived in Baton Rouge on a work project for 3 months, and was amazed at the blatant racism I saw.  I was living in Houston at the time and couldn't believe the difference in culture considering the two cities are less than 4 hours apart.  I was working in a chemical plant and one of the girls I worked with had just moved there from NY state for her job.  Her boyfriend was black, and after he visited her twice they ended up breaking up.  He had been planning to move down to be with her, but couldn't take the stares and whispers every time they went out in public.  It was a big shock to me - I didn't even know there were places in the US where that sort of thing still happened (I know - I'm totally naive).

On the other hand, it's only a small portion of the people who hold those views (racist and sexist) - they just happen to be the most verbal.  I worked in a plant with a bunch of tough men, and they were nothing but respectful to me

Melanie, wow....you are so special to offer your time and talents!

My mom, who lives in western Canada, said that she and others there were shocked to see how poor the people in the South were. It's based on television coverage that may be skewed, but it was an eye opener for many people outside the country who see the USA as a thriving capitalist society. Katrina has aired America's "dirty laundry" and I hope that it forces the country to address the issues of poverty, discrimination and racism.

This is Llewigi's wife. I pointed out your thread to my husband, and he graciously offered you a place to stay. If your instincts toward him were bad decause he doesn't post, youre instincts were wrong. He spends his time working, and not lurking or posting meaninless drivel. He wanted to help you because my instincts were that you needed help.Your post to him is out of line. Of course you e mailed him with some bs regarding the church wanting you to stay with them so you could work with the evacuees. Why didn't you just say you did not want to stay here because you did not trust us, because we do not post a lot.

We have always treated everyone with respect, and try not to judge people until we have been in their shoes. Being a Yankee does not make you more tolerant. It was your innaccurate judgement of our people, that upset him, and made him answer you. There was no anger in his post, just pity.

That ends it from our side. You have a great life.

There was plently of anger in the post - how about the statement "The last thing we need is another GDY"?  How is that an example of tolerance?

I understand why someone who lives in Baton Rouge might be upset by the original and subsequent posts in this thread - it's an attack on the people where you live, and of course that would be upsetting.  However, I don't think Melanie (or anyone else here) was indicating that everyone who lives there is racist, sexist, etc. - I think these were just meant to be some observations of what the region looks like to an outsider.  I think most of us who read this board understand that this was not a statement that everyone in the region is like that - just an observation of the fact that the racist/sexist beliefs of a few bad apples happen to be more visible/accepted in that region.

And it IS hotter than hell in Louisiana - don't know why that was a point of contention in the original post

Melanie,

You saw what you saw.  I grew up in Baton Rouge, and still go home to visit regularly.  I tried to live there a couple of years back, but things in my life worked out differently and now I'm in California.  In my life, I've lived in LA, TX, MI, KS and CA.  I've visited probably 40 of the 50 states, and have met people from all over the world.

I love the South.  A large part of my heart is there.  I consider it a kind of "home" emotionally, if not physically.  But I can't explain what I feel when I'm there.  There is a kind of cultural stubbornness.  Like several others who have posted similar responses, I am tired, so very tired, of Southern Stereotypes -- I hate incest/inbred jokes especially.  But, I'm not blind to the fact that in each visit to my hometown I am a witness to blatant racism, whether it's from a relative of mine, or just a stranger on the street.  I have witnessed racism of all forms, even out here in California.  In fact, I think the racism I experience elsewhere is worse in some ways because it's not so blatant.  But that's a whole 'nother thread.

But not all southerners are blatant racists.  Some aren't even racists at all.  Many, though, are caught up in some sort of cultural bias that they're not even aware of and will defend to the end as "southern culture".  All my relatives talk on and on about "how some of my best friends are black."  Well, what they mean by that is they have a coworker at their office who is black and they get along with "at work".  But, see, now I'm getting back into the whole racism discussion, and there's so much more to The South than just that.

I think the southern culture, just like any other culture, deserves several months/years of study to understand.  I'm 35, and I sometimes still feel like I don't know it because I don't live there day to day.

I am honestly sorry that some people took exception to your post.  I have to admit that at first I was a bit resistant to what you said, just out of blind devotion to my "home", but after I thought about it for a minute, I realized that what you experienced was real, and that even if you did have your "Yankee filter" up -- the thing that makes Yankees and other outsiders focus on racism and sexism, etc. -- what you said was still true.

And I'm sorry that your experience since your trip has been colored by negative reactions.

Like I said, I was happy to help, but all I did was give you some phone numbers.  I'm glad you were able to get in touch with the organizations that needed your help.

As, as for the obese comment: I have over 20 cousins, people generally my age, and NOT ONE does anything sports related.  Perhaps my family is the exception, but somehow I doubt it.  One cousin had to have bypass surgery before the age of 30.  Now, he is the leanest of them, but only because he nearly died.  The rest are all at least 20 pounds overweight (I'm speaking as someone who struggles with her weight, so this is NOT a judgment thing, it's an honest assessment), and some are more than 40 pounds overweight.  When I go to visit, I hear all the comments folks on this board like to share from non-supportive family: why do you want to hurt yourself like that, etc.  Perhaps that's not just a southern thing, but since that's where my family is, that's where I hear it the most.  Of course, I live in Northern California, and people are a bit more active here (like they are in CO).