did I fail the Kolbe Peronality test?..good grief!

I had to take a personality test as part of a job application. Its called, 'Kolbe A Index'. So, the thing comes back with the label 'Transition'. I can't stop thinking about it.  I can't make up my mind what to think about this (oh great, validating 'transition'). For sure, i figure, i can take what is useful, productive, and resonates, about its feedback and try to clear some muck, eh? Thats the thing, I KNOW i'm living in some muck. Yep. I know I started a thread here, must have been a year ago, complaining i'm stifled. Well, here i am still. I feel like a heel complaining again.

--> I've been in a new job for almost 4 months, and though, I find elements I enjoy about it, overall because of the boss, i feel very held back. In the third month there, I got laid off twice in the same conversation (and hired back), because he felt I was trying to run the company. He said "your work is excellent, your work ethics are excellent, and your dedication is excellent. I guess its just a personality thing. I feel like you're trying to run the company". One of the examples he gave as evidence of this was; when he wired the computers wrong and the router started smoking and oozing liquid, I said "maybe we should power down the computers".  When I told him that he seems to be disrespectful in the way he requires subordinate behavior, he said "Nikki, this is not a democracy". I'm suppose to be doing marketing, but he often sends me on tasks that seem only given to reinforce his need to feel like the boss. For example, "Nikki, can you file those notes you did, in a folder called notes, in a folder called conference, in a folder called conference notes. When I asked him, why are we making a folder called notes in a folder called conference in a folder called conference notes, he said "because I like it that way".

--> I am a single mom with two (really great and amazing) kids.

--> I am an artist, but haven't been painting enough. I have a commissioned piece just sitting there!!!  Painting is like a wonderland lying dormant inside of me.

--> I love the feeling when i'm training, but training seems to be entertaining painting, dormant, inside of me.

--> So, the transition thing says....
"You have terrific talent! Right now, though, you may not be letting the true you shine through. I say this because your Kolbe index results indicate you may be going through significant change or stress, putting you into a period of Transition." further along it says...

"The other 10%, like you, are attempting to work in ways that are unnatural to them, perhaps trying to be everything to everybody or act like a mentor, boss or parent. Transition can occur when an individual is under extreme pressure to change or conform at work or at home. Some people temporarily lose their ability to express or recognize their own conative nature, which can be extremely stressful."

I guess the thing is...it really does resonate. Now, how to break out! I was in a conversation lately, when someone brought up an interesting prospective. I mentioned that I do well when someone is around to "force" me to workout, and/or be creative. I do well, if i take a class, enter our challenges here on BT, have a task for work, have a workout partner. I will never let anyone ELSE down, but i will let myself down. He proposed, that maybe I need other people's validation. Hmm...a blow to the ego, but of course, fair enough to consider.

What am I doing here writing all this....I dunno, I just needed to get this out.  If you got this far, thank you for listening!!