Failed Hipster

Share the link b/c the one in the OP is still flagged

Text of the Craigslist ad below (still loads for me, but perhaps its cached in my machine). The bike is just as you may imagine, blue paint, RED bullhorn handlebars and Neon Red tires.

Failed hipster - fixie must go - $1100 (SLO)

 I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my look like an elevator button.

. . .And I rode a fixie.

No more. It's all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) . . .and the bike. Pictured below is the bike. It's beautiful. It's got red rims. Red chain. Red tires. Red handlebars shaped like devil horns -- because it's the devil.

The guys at the hipster store don't tell you fixes don't stop. So I will. Fixies don't stop. Stop sign? Fixie don't care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won't stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Yesterday, Fixie got pulled over twice by SLO PD in three hours. In six months time, Fixie collected more tickets than a scalper for a Radiohead show at Hollywood Bowl.

I'm selling this badboy and tipping the dregs of my last PBR tall boy in his memory.

The (Devil) Fixie:
Cinelli Gazzetta Frame (2011)
Crane Creek and Origin 8 components

$1,100 ($1,600 new)

Excellent ad. Definitely not a hipster, because true hipsters do not realize how much they are complete DB's. Yeah I have a strong bias being a city boy and having to deal with them.

I was at the beer distributor (this is PA) yesterday and this guy asked if they had Iron City Light. I was still in my bike jersey and shorts (which I supposed also makes me a different kind of  DB) carrying a case of Yards Brawler. The cashier was awesome, he said 'no we don't carry anything like that.'

I mean, seriously, I drank Iron City in college back in the 80's because it was $5 a case. And then never again.