Subject: RE: wait, *now* they're teaching abstinence?one of the things i've learned in our toddler and pre-schooler classes is this. kids have a hard time with negatives. if you say 'don't take your hat off', most little kids will take their hat off...either because they didn't understand the negative, or because they want to test to see what happens if they do what you've told them not to do. its like the cookie in the cookie jar? if not, why not? if you say 'your hat stays on your head' then the child is more likely to leave the hat on (unless that child is fi, who never wants to wear a hat under any circumstances ). same goes for 'don't hit your sister'. if she hits ella, i make a practice to say 'put your hands in your lap' while i figure out if ella is okay. if i say 'don't hit your sister', 9/10 fi will hit her again. my 5 year old doesn't go along with 'because i said so'...she wants information and understanding as to WHY something isn't okay to do or okay to do.
so, apply that to teens. if all we are telling them is 'don't HAVE SEX' what are they really hearing? HAVE SEX? or if not, why not? what is this big and yummy cookie i'm not supposed to eat? if you tell them that cookies might give them sore teeth or make them fat, and that picking their own peaches is okay, maybe they'll make a different choice. okay, the food analogy is not working.
|