Baggage and how to get rid of it...

Don't laugh...but I usually have cut my hair. OK, not to the extreme that Ms. Spears went...but long to short. Always seems to 'free' me.

Trips are nice too. I've been going thru some sort of metamorphosis myself... so going to FL in 2 weeks to visit my mom will be nice to get a way and 'think'. Although, it is my moms... YIKES, and I'm taking my 3.5 year old son (double yikes!)

I think you all are making a mistake. These are memories and moments in your life - throwing them away does nothing but lend a momentary satisfaction and the illustion of control. I've got pictures from I haven't looked at in years, but I might with say my daughter as she struggles with her own identity and with who I am/was in 10 or 20 years.... These things are part of who I am and part of who you are....

Just my thoughts....

Wow, i could never burn them.  That doesn't mean it was a bad idea for YOU though.  It obviously represented some painful chapters you wanted to leave behind you.  It took courage.

For me, my past makes me who I am, the times of victory and the times of failure both.  Maybe I wouldn't have made the good choices I've made without first witnessing who i'd become from making bad ones.

But the hair thing - hah!  you should see my driver's license picture taken a week or two after FINALLY, DEFINITIVELY cancelling the wedding.   Probably the shortest it's been since I've had teeth!

I don't really have a good answer for you, hon.  I'm still processing stuff from my ex of nearly 4 years.  We were together for 10 years, and I still have some of the stuff he gave me.  But only the things that have meaning to me today.  I have a pair of earrings he gave me in (what later turned out to be a rare) moment of genuine generosity.  I never wear them, but when I look at them I'm able to smile and remember a sweet moment without also thinking about the following 9 years of hell.

I've forgiven myself for staying with him so long after it wasn't fun anymore.  And I've taken responsibility for my role in the relationship problems, and pat myself on the back for finally leaving, even though it was hard and long long overdue.

I don't know.  I guess I just remind myself that there are only so many things you can do with the past:

- learn from it
- leave it behind

Regret is the past having a stranglehold on the future.  Let it go.  You made the best decisions you were capable of making at the time and under the circumstances, I think they were darn good ones (even though I don't really know what they were, I know you and I know you are a good and smart person who has a fun, loving, and trusting nature, so you had to been making good decisions, right?). 

If we don't make any mistakes, we're not learning anything, right?   

I agree... I think cleaning regularly is healthy

I purge my closets alot, and my garage is due once Spring arrives.

I have thrown out old journals as well... I think it's okay... you can always start a new one whenever you feel like it

I purge non-meaningful items every chance I get.

I do not purge things like old cards, love letters, mementos, journals, or anything that has any sort of feeling attached to it. Or that I created out of that feeling. Those very feelings have made me the person I am today. Good, bad, indifferent, whatever.

My ex husband found, read, and burned my journal. I've never felt more violated. Sick to my stomach. He put it in the Weber in the back yard and had himself a little BBQ.

I don't necessarily go back and read these items regularly, or at all... but I do like knowing they are there... I am hurt and lost knowing that several years of journaling went up in flames at the hands of an obsessive compulsive whackjob. 

I suppose they are your thoughts, and your creations, so do with them what you will. I won't be burning anything like that anytime soon. I don't need that kind of closure. Things are what they are. Moving on doesn't mean you must destroy everything that came before. 

My favoreit picture of my sister is a shot of her, hat on, no make-up, drinking a beer and making a face, completely unprepared and unaware the picture being taken. She hates it. For me, however, it makes me think of millions of little things about her that she can't even begin to fathom - I wouldn't even try. Ultimately, of seeing who she is without her spin on it... All I can say to her is I love that picture.

Consider life like a series of snapshots = some intense, some meandering, but all a collection of moments that connect points in time. We define our lives by relationships - marriage, kids, work, parents, friends... you name ir, relationships define who you are - they are the clock by which you measure life = everything else is highways between towns. Real, but meaningless.

To act as if relationships never existed, or as if some part of you didn't happen is the same as denying a part of you. You are what you are. You are the person yesterday built. You can't hide it and the people who love you see it long before you do, so what is the point?

I have never had a relationship I didn't grow from. An experience I didn'txp treasure - some of my most painful relationships have been my most worthwhile experiences.... my easiest completely forgettable.  I treasure them all - once the hurt and angst leaves, I view them as pieces of me that no amount of coin or soap can cleanse. They define who I am - all relationships define who you are, how you relate to the grocer, your GF or your mother, or the waitress when you don't have the cash to tip. I

ntimate relationships bring a sharper contrast to you're own perception and reality - too discard those "snapshots" and glimpses into who you are and where you were is to hide from who are and what you are.

forshniznit. 

I've made bad choices and I've behaved badly: Made the right call and lost my senses: but those things make and define me. I'm all of it: Burning or hiding those pieces of your life is like picking and choosing your pictures from a gallery. You can save all the good ones - but what you hate may just be what someone loves.