Funny Chain Mail

I got this as "chain mail" on MySpace. Not quite as funny as the butt hair shaving thing I posted last week, but it's still pretty good.


> FIRST DATE
>
> If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
> when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
> date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake
>
> Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
> that a woman ever had.
>
> The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
> absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
>
> She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
> taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
>
> It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
> truly had never met before.
>
> The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
> late that afternoon.
>
> They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
> realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
>
> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
> middle of nowhere!
>
> Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
>
> Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
> point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
> the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and
> she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and
> started.
>
> In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
> against the rear fender to steady herself.
>
> Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
> indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
> think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
> nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware
> of another sensation.
>
> As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
> were firmly glued against the car's fender
>
> Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
> attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
> apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
>
> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
> answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
> that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some
> assistance!
>
> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
> and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
> laughing.
>
> She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
> themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
>
> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
> a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
> chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
>
> Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
> place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
> free.
>
> So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
> his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
> laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
> should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was
> embarrassing.
>
> Jay Leno's comment... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
> off
>
> Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
> sitting next to her on the Leno show.