suicide- what do I say?

^^^ that

simple, clear, sincere

If you know what sort of lunches she brings/buys or something she likes to eat, you might tell her you'll be bringing lunch food for her next week (and perhaps easy home cooked tasty dinners in take-home, microwavable/freezable single serve containers). It's just a thought and it may be appropriate or not, or she may already have someone doing that for her.

You could offer to pick her up for work, or do any driving errands that need to be done.

These are just thoughts and there are many solid options if you want to offer help (which isn't necessary, but if you want to these are thoughts on how to do so). Just my own personal perspective ... when faced with sudden unexpected tragedy or loss, people are often really in shock and lost ... to me it seems if I've offered a specific X that I want to or feel I can do, they are more likely to take me up on that than be able to respond to a general offer of "anything I can do."

Also, do offer condolences and help if you want to, even if you don't feel like you know her very well. I was deeply grateful for the sometimes odd and surprising kindnesses that came to me from people I didn't know well in times of trouble. Some of them were only there for that time and we didn't stay in touch, but I'll always remember them with gratitude.

Whatever you decide to say, make it sincere and meant.

I hated it when I heard "let me know if you need anything" and it just didn't feel sincere

Can I buck the trend here a bit?

I've been close to 3 people who've committed suicide.  Saying "I'm sorry for your loss" is like kicking them in the stomach.  Saying "Wanna grab coffee sometime" is the right way to go about it if you're so inclined.

Depending on your actual sentiment toward her (i.e. do you really want to help or are you just saying something to be nice) you could have a chance to be a friend to her when she may not have many friends.  

Is it possible that her husband was her only friend?  and now she's alone, maybe kids (?) who are dealing with this also.  Maybe she needs someone new in her life.

Is it possible that her current friends somehow don't want to be around her any more because of what happened? I know in one case, the kids of a guy who killed himself just shut their mother out for the rest of their lives.

All I'm saying is that if you really want to help, reminding her of her loss is probably not the best way.  Inviting her for lunch or a cappuccino is the right way.  She'll talk when she's ready.  

I agree with GomesBolt and sulross.  My brother committed suicide six years ago, and personally I was more appreciative when people offered to help, even in the simplest of ways...going out for a coffee, offering a meal, trying to help our family in whatever method they could think would be helpful.  I know people had a hard time trying to figure out what to say to me, and when they said they were sorry for my loss (which they still do occasionally when I tell people about my brother), I took it for what they said and knew they meant it.  It is an awkward situation when you don't know the survivors all that well, and it is sometimes more complicated when the act was a suicide versus an accident or illness.  Also don't be hesitant to address the fact that you know you haven't been "friends" before but that you felt like whatever you decide to do is something that you would want others to do for you in the same situation.

The lady is going to be struggling for quite some time, and every little bit helps.  Like it has already been stated, it might be an opportunity to be there for her in a time when she needs an additional shoulder to lean on.  There's nothing wrong with showing compassion to someone who needs it.  Maybe a few years down the road she will be able to pay it forward, whether it is to you or someone else who needs it.

I am trying to imagine how I would feel if this happened to me (and my husband) and it seems like it would be quite similar to if he died any sudden way.  The last thing I'd want is people reminding me of it on and on, especially people who aren't direct coworkers or friends.  I can be a bit of a scrooge, but when a family member died recently I just HATED it when people said "I'm sorry for your loss."  It forced me to put on a brave face, think about it, etc.    I really like the idea of giving it a week or two and then maybe saying "How are you doing?  Can I treat you to a coffee outing?"  Or, in the case of a husband dying, maybe an offer of "How are you managing around the house, do you need an extra set of hands?"

I would say that if you encounter her, or it comes up, a kind smile and "Sorry for you loss" should certainly be offered. I just wouldn't show up at her cube out of the blue.

It's not. 

It can carry an incredible amount of guilt for some people.....much different than a "sudden loss" from an accident, illness, etc.

I agree with the skip the "if there's anything I can do"  you already said you only know her in passing.  

I personally think the card and "I canNOT imagine what you're going through" is sincere, and I use it b/c it almost always is sincere in most cases for me, b/c I can't imagine what losing a parent is like... yet....or a husband....or a child.  Simply acknowledging her loss I think is huge.

Also, if indeed you have only do the "good morning" thing with her, I find the "invitation for coffee" might be, well, odd.  Why now after all this time would you be interested in talking to /listening to her.

When my uncle was murdered in a shooting (publicized nationally on TV) I had some co workers who I almost never spoke to have this odd desire to want to talk to me that I felt was sort of a "Hey I know this girl who's uncle was killed in that shooting on TV" sort of reaction.