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considering a career as a domestic goddess??
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 2006-08-03 9:42 AM |
molto veloce mama  9311   |  Subject: considering a career as a domestic goddess??didn't want to hyjack the career thread... Wishing I were a domestic goddess..... hoping to graduate to domestic goddess for those considering an illustrious and fulfilling career as a domestic goddess, let me just detail a few of the prerequisite qualifications: 1. ability to be on call 24 hours a day, with back to back shifts. no vacation. no sick days. 2. advanced degree in toxic materials handling. this includes pee, poop, vomit, regurgitated breast milk, food that has been chewed and rejected, puddles of glitter glue, dog and cat poop (if the work place has pets), and dried up play-dough. 3. physical traits of having eyes on the back of your head. sixth sense of 'when its this quiet, they MUST be up to something' may be sufficient. 4. ability to carry 30-50 lbs on each hip simultaneously, plus groceries or library books. if you aspire to have a hobby in your limited free time, then you will need to possess or aquire the ability to pull 100+ pounds behind a bicycle and push 100+ lbs while running...while singing the 'itsy bitsy spider' or 'the ants go marching' one by one' 5. advanced degree in oration. vocal range should be akin to that of a professional actor. the pigs should sound little, and the wolf should sound big and bad, etc. 6. advanced degree in complex problem solving & negotiations. talking a 4 year old into sharing a toy, is like trying to get an extremist into landing the plane he just hyjacked. 7. proficiency in laundering techniques, including ability to get out stains left by: glurch, paint, grass, mud, blood, grape jam, mud, ink, mud. (see also toxic materials handling list). 8. certification as a chef, prefered knowledge would be: peanut butter & jelly (with the crusts cut off), chocolate pudding, mac & cheese, and presenting healthy foods in a desirable fomat. 9. personal stress management. this job requires a high level of stress managament. if one client had poured blue paint over another client, and while you are cleaning up client B, client A then goes and pours the rest of the paint over the clean laundry, and while you are cleaning up the paint with client A so that s/he understands the consequences of his/her actions, client B takes off his/her diaper and poops on the living room rug, then client D (dog) eats said toxic material while you are cleaning up client B, etc...you will need to be able to act efficiently and with tact. 10. salary/retirement = $0 btw, i'd be more than happy to take on a full time intern, assuming you're okay with all the above requirements  Edited by autumn 2006-08-03 9:45 AM |
| 2006-08-03 9:48 AM in reply to: #501221 |
Expert 1195   Shelby Twp | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? well i was considering if i wanted to work or not down the road when we have kids, and i think you may have just brought me back to earth.... defenitly have at least a part time job to socialize with "normal" people and non spewing beings.. haha. really though, my sister is a domestic goddess, and i give you guys credit, im not sure i could cut it! |
| 2006-08-03 9:54 AM in reply to: #501221 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290 The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? Gee, you make it sound hard. We all know different. |
| 2006-08-03 9:55 AM in reply to: #501221 |
Champion 5183 Wisconsin | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? honestly, autumn, it sounds like heaven... right now when I talk in big bad wolf voices, or have spilled breakfast all over me, my colleagues give me dirty looks... And of my few talents, I can honestly say I make one helluva bag lunch. I can deal with poop and vomit as long as it's not the dogs'. sigh. desk work is miserable. |
| 2006-08-03 9:56 AM in reply to: #501232 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? the sad thing is is that most moms - working full time, or at home full time - have said they would prefer to work part time, and be home part time. all my friends have degrees, some advanced degrees, and we're not able to use them. when i was working, i always assumed we couldn't afford for me to stay home. when we finally did the math, we realized we couldn't afford for me to keep working! i worked at a university before ella was born, and didn't earn a whole lot. on campus child care was $900 a month (and there was a waiting list). assuming i would have to break down and start driving, get a second car (another cost), parking on campus was $70 a month (and there was a waiting list). after all was said and done, i would have been bringing in about $200-$300 a month. once we adjusted bill's withholdings if i were to become a dependant, then our net gain would have only been about $50-$100 a month. really, i am SO glad to be home with my kids. it is very hard sometimes, but i love being home. my kids can make me crazy, but more often they make me smile and laugh. |
| 2006-08-03 9:58 AM in reply to: #501243 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? you'll be an awesome mama, hollis and any bag lunch tips would be appreciated. ella has an all day camp all next week, and will be going to all day kindergarten in a month!  |
| 2006-08-03 10:31 AM in reply to: #501221 |
Elite 3201 South Florida | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? LOL!! I had to wrangle all three kids in the library this week without the aid of a stroller for the baby - that's easy. I'm in the same situation about the part time work. In two weeks my husband starts an out-of-the-house job. I thought I would try part time for a while since I like where I work and it is nice to get out of the house. Turns out I would probably barely bring in $50/week after paying a babysitter. That's not worth it to me to have the baby away from me. |
| 2006-08-03 10:40 AM in reply to: #501221 |
Elite 3972 Reno | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? Does the position of Domestic Goddess require the presence of children in the workplace? |
| 2006-08-03 10:52 AM in reply to: #501308 |
COURT JESTER 12230 ROCKFORD, IL | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? bootygirl - 2006-08-03 9:40 AM Does the position of Domestic Goddess require the presence of children in the workplace? OH YEAH !!!!! Without them it's much to easy to FIND TIME to get all the other requirements done (laundry, cleaning, etc.) Kids provide the challenge and the FUN of it all. |
| 2006-08-03 11:51 AM in reply to: #501323 |
Elite 3972 Reno | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? tupuppy - 2006-08-03 10:52 AM bootygirl - 2006-08-03 9:40 AM Does the position of Domestic Goddess require the presence of children in the workplace? OH YEAH !!!!! Without them it's much to easy to FIND TIME to get all the other requirements done (laundry, cleaning, etc.) Kids provide the challenge and the FUN of it all. Then I am out. Is there another catagory for a childess goddess who provides a marvelous home life - gardens, decorates, lays down a brick patio, builds custom book shelves, entertains, cooks, shops..... |
| 2006-08-03 12:02 PM in reply to: #501406 |
Master 2571 Tiger's Den | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? That's what I'm talking about! |
| 2006-08-03 12:07 PM in reply to: #501296 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? hee hee. maybe fiona thought the little kiddie pool was a 'potty' too  i had a great day at the library today. we went to see some irish musicians and dancers as part of the summer reading program. ella REALLY wanted to be able to do the fairly complicated dance moves (think river dance) and had a mini-meltdown because she was so frustrated. this has happened before, and it is SO tough to deal with. by getting angry and shutting down, she ends up missing out on information that would help her do the thing she wants so badly to do. she still walking around pouting and sniffing, after several pep talks (laced with a little bit of 'suck it up buttercup'). still struggling with how to deal with that one. add in fi, who decided at about the same time that what she really wanted to do was get on the elevator by herself to go upstairs and read books. all this while the performance was still going on. are we having fun yet??? |
| 2006-08-03 12:10 PM in reply to: #501221 |
Champion 6962 Atlanta, Ga | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? I believe the childless homemaker is called a "Kept Man or Kept Woman". That's my goal!! I'd have the hottest dinners and the cleanest house on the planet. But then I might be forced to watch Oprah...gotta ponder. Oh...in case you're wondering...I think that a Domestic Goddess is THE hardest job on the planet. I'd rather be an Ironworker all this week on 12 hr days with 1 glass of water than do that job. My High props! Edited by Marvarnett 2006-08-03 12:11 PM |
| 2006-08-03 12:22 PM in reply to: #501245 |
Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? autumn - 2006-08-03 9:56 AM the sad thing is is that most moms - working full time, or at home full time - have said they would prefer to work part time, and be home part time. all my friends have degrees, some advanced degrees, and we're not able to use them. when i was working, i always assumed we couldn't afford for me to stay home. when we finally did the math, we realized we couldn't afford for me to keep working! i worked at a university before ella was born, and didn't earn a whole lot. on campus child care was $900 a month (and there was a waiting list). assuming i would have to break down and start driving, get a second car (another cost), parking on campus was $70 a month (and there was a waiting list). after all was said and done, i would have been bringing in about $200-$300 a month. once we adjusted bill's withholdings if i were to become a dependant, then our net gain would have only been about $50-$100 a month. really, i am SO glad to be home with my kids. it is very hard sometimes, but i love being home. my kids can make me crazy, but more often they make me smile and laugh. So so true. I used to work at a University too, in research, and some days the balance of part-time work sounds very appealing since I really miss the intellectual challnge of my job and just being around so many smart people. My daughter will be in first grade this year, so both my kids are in school full-time. I told my husband we either need another baby or I need a puppy. He told me to get a job...I start in two weeks. I am going to miss the days when my kids would crawl in bed with me and fall back asleep. It's gone soooo fast. Nine years...poof! |
| 2006-08-03 12:29 PM in reply to: #501221 |
Master 1732 Delafield, Wisconsin | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? autumn - 2006-08-03 9:42 AM 3. physical traits of having eyes on the back of your head. not to hijack but... For a while we actually had our girls convinced that we could see what was happening behind us. We told them that is where the term "parental super vision" came from. |
| 2006-08-03 12:36 PM in reply to: #501441 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? KSlostStar - 2006-08-03 12:22 PM So so true. I used to work at a University too, in research, and some days the balance of part-time work sounds very appealing since I really miss the intellectual challnge of my job and just being around so many smart people. My daughter will be in first grade this year, so both my kids are in school full-time. I told my husband we either need another baby or I need a puppy. He told me to get a job...I start in two weeks. I am going to miss the days when my kids would crawl in bed with me and fall back asleep. It's gone soooo fast. Nine years...poof! it does go by so quickly, which is why i feel blessed (even on the hard days) to be home with them. ella will be starting full day kindergarten in september, and i already miss her. fi is a september baby, so unless we put her in preschool, she won't start 1/2 day kindergarten until 2008. we may start with half day, and then switch to full day for her, assuming she likes her school (we were homeschooling before ella started 1/2 day, so i'm always open to the idea of having them at school at home, but ella has LOVED her school so much that there was no question about her continuing). once both girls are in school full time, i will probably get a job. maybe at the co-op, or hauling beans for peace coffee, or some other job. i could go back to interpreting, but i just don't feel inspired to go back to it at this point. maybe someday. addition to the stress management part of my original post: when you are talking with a very upset client A about how she shouldn't give up, even when something is hard, client B sneaks downstairs to the basement to 'feed the pets', distributing both cat and dog food EVERYWHERE. client B is a very, very, very fast worker! speaking of which.... |
| 2006-08-03 12:37 PM in reply to: #501453 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? must use this one. |
| 2006-08-03 12:41 PM in reply to: #501472 |
Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? autumn - 2006-08-03 12:36 PM KSlostStar - 2006-08-03 12:22 PM So so true. I used to work at a University too, in research, and some days the balance of part-time work sounds very appealing since I really miss the intellectual challnge of my job and just being around so many smart people. My daughter will be in first grade this year, so both my kids are in school full-time. I told my husband we either need another baby or I need a puppy. He told me to get a job...I start in two weeks. I am going to miss the days when my kids would crawl in bed with me and fall back asleep. It's gone soooo fast. Nine years...poof! it does go by so quickly, which is why i feel blessed (even on the hard days) to be home with them. ella will be starting full day kindergarten in september, and i already miss her. fi is a september baby, so unless we put her in preschool, she won't start 1/2 day kindergarten until 2008. we may start with half day, and then switch to full day for her, assuming she likes her school (we were homeschooling before ella started 1/2 day, so i'm always open to the idea of having them at school at home, but ella has LOVED her school so much that there was no question about her continuing). once both girls are in school full time, i will probably get a job. maybe at the co-op, or hauling beans for peace coffee, or some other job. i could go back to interpreting, but i just don't feel inspired to go back to it at this point. maybe someday. addition to the stress management part of my original post: when you are talking with a very upset client A about how she shouldn't give up, even when something is hard, client B sneaks downstairs to the basement to 'feed the pets', distributing both cat and dog food EVERYWHERE. client B is a very, very, very fast worker! speaking of which.... I don't intend to get back into research anymore. I thought I'd go back but not anymore. It was a great job but I don't want to commute. I will be working at our health club until school starts, then I will be working in the school district with special ed. kids. I like the idea of having the same schedule as them. The pay is not great, but it's better than the nothing I was bringing in before, without the expense of daycare. My husband is feeling a little less pressure which is a bonus of course! |
| 2006-08-03 1:11 PM in reply to: #501406 |
COURT JESTER 12230 ROCKFORD, IL | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? bootygirl - 2006-08-03 10:51 AM Is there another catagory for a childess goddess who provides a marvelous home life - gardens, decorates, lays down a brick patio, builds custom book shelves, entertains, cooks, shops..... Did you intentionally leave out one important |
| 2006-08-03 7:48 PM in reply to: #501522 |
Elite 3972 Reno | Subject: RE: considering a career as a domestic goddess?? tupuppy - 2006-08-03 1:11 PM bootygirl - 2006-08-03 10:51 AM Is there another catagory for a childess goddess who provides a marvelous home life - gardens, decorates, lays down a brick patio, builds custom book shelves, entertains, cooks, shops..... Did you intentionally leave out one important Those were just the items I plan on doing by myself. |
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