How old is too old?

{this subject}

{me}

{10 ft. pole}

Not even with.

I think what you said is a pretty good limit.  40-45 is pretty much the upper limit for natural conception anyway.  The older a woman gets the greater the chance for birth defects, multiples, and miscarriages.   I think many women may find they cannot get pregnant if they wait until their 40s.   Not to mention, you want to be around when the kid graduates HS or college, don't you?   If you give birth at 50+ there is a decent chance you could die of natural causes or heart disease before the kid is an adult.     Mentally and financially, I think a 40 year old woman is the perfect age for a mother - physically, 20-30 is prime child bearing age.   

I checked "glad i'm a man" in the poll

There's a natural biological limit, but obviously, we've gotten good enough to be able to ignore it...There's also a practical limit, and to think about being 78 (male or female) for a child's HS graduation just seems to push the practical limits (not that it hasn't been done). 

Wasn't it Tony Randall who fathered a child several years back when he was 76 or something close to that? 

I agree in a way. 

Of course it's one's choice to have a baby at any age. 

A good friend was a baby to a 65 yr old father and a late 40s mother.  By the time she was 10 years old and running around trying to play with her parents, her dad was 75 wearing a pace-maker and requiring elderly care.  Her then late-50s mom spent more time taking care of her dad instead of spending time with the kids (friend has a 2 other siblings close in age).  They often wonder why their parents are so old.  Many people mistook her dad as her grand-dad.  Many times my friend told me she wished she had younger parents who had the time and energy to play with her. 

Since most of us parents know there is no guarantee we'll "be around" to see any of our childs milestones, from their first birthday through college graduation and beyond - that in and of itself (your death) is not really something I think I would factor in, purely on it's own merits.  Obviously I  would take my health into consideration, I'd consult my doctor and have every available test.  I'd have to have the conversation with myself that says "if I wait until I am over 40 am I going to want to take the amnio"?  "If I wait until I'm over 40 and I have trouble conceiving, will I be able to accept the result, and at what point, or how far and I willing to go to make this happen"?  "If something happens to my spouse (age related - if you have one - since you're not the only late in lifer), am I prepared to raise this child alone"?  Conversations any woman preparing to conceive might ask, but no denying your odds of these issues increase the longer you wait. 

Personally, I am thrilled beyond words that even though I did it because I was young and dumb, not from any master plan - that I had my kids young and now they are grown and out of the nest and I'm still young!  But on the flip side of the coin - I am honest enough to know that I would be a better Mother now to a child.  Emotionally, patience wise, financially.  My life is just completely different now and it would result in much happier parenting....so there is no way I would ever judge any woman for wanting a child later in life.  I do have opinions about what I think is too late, but they only apply to me personally. 

You should put in the Subject somewhere that this is an Estrogen induced post, now I have entered, and must post....

Have a baby past 40 and you'll know what it's like to be a mom, and a grandma, all at the same time  

Haha!

When I was in HS, my best friend's parents were in their 60s.  I think her mom was 45 when she was born.  Her oldest brother was 20 years older than her.  When she'd go out with him, everyone assumed he was her dad.  When she went out with her father, everyone assumed he was her grandpa. 

But, I have to say, her parents were "old" for 60.  They were in good health, but they acted like they were still living in the 1950s, during the 1980s.  Or maybe it just seemed that way to us when we were 16.  

I can't imagine BEING 60, much less being pregnant at 60. 

I think it really does vary from person to person - but I do think 60 is a little bit on the extreme high side.  Of course, maybe women in her family live to be 100, who knows.

Personally it's a rather frustrating subject for me - everyone loves to say age doesn't matter, but in this case, it definitely does.

I'm 35 and pretty much toast for the parenting option.  My hairdresser had her first at 40 - but then again, she's always had the energy of a 20 year old, so her age hasn't had much of an impact. 

We had our first kids at 27 and adopted our last one at 37...oldest ones graduate from HS next week, youngest is in 3rd grade.

I love my kids but I'll be doing this parenting thing with kids at home for 30 years...long time. When my son's were in kindergarten I felt young, when my youngest started kindergarten I was one of the older parents.

When we adopted our first daughter in '95 we were 33 and considered to young to adopt in China...law was you had to be 35 to adopt a healthy infant at the time. In our group of families adopting children in China most everyone was 45+. Now our group of familes that adopted together our daughters are 12-13 and we are 45 and they are 57+...huge difference.

My oldest daughter told me this week she wants to do an Ironman with me...my thought that would be cool. She says I'll do it when I"m 40 and you'll be 80 and you can be like the oldest women doing it. I'm like no how about in 10 years when I'm 55 and you are 22? We aren't even 40 years apart in age. We do tris together could we/would we if I was 40-45 years older than her?

Parenting takes energy.

Crap I couldn't even get pregnant when I was 25, never would happen when I was 40....

Parenting is so rewarding....if it is right you'll know it...big question only you know the answer to.

My parents were in their upper 30's when they had me, and they were the older than most of the parents of kids I grew up with, but not the oldest.  I remember always being shocked at how young everyone elses parents were!  I don't think they were too old though....I think they could've even gone later, as they are now just turning 60 and very fit and healthy.  However I definitely don't think they are at an age to be having more babies now, and I think that's unfair to the baby to think that their parents will be 78 when s/he graduates high school.  It is never a guarantee how long any of us are going to live, but at 60+ you are pretty much guaranteeing you won't be around for much of your kid's life.  Even if you're there physically, being there mentally and being healthy enough to be actively involved with your kid, rather than your kid having to worry about taking care of you if you're sick, is a whole different story.  So I would think that 45-50 would be the limit of "too old".

I'll add though that I think it's different for adoption.  I have no problem with an older couple adopting a baby.  In that case, the baby already exists but has no family.  Providing a family for a baby or child who has no one is a lot different then bringing a new child into the world at that age.

right-on, not even with his 10-ft. pole!