the tenth good thing about frida

Oh my...how sad. Hope shes not in pain.

Delete this thread now Autumn!  I don't want to make the visualization of what your kitty is going through.  I have 2 kitties and they are young (3 and 1) and I can't imagine having to see them go through that   It sounds like your kitty has has a good life and you've been a good owner.  Sorry to hear about this.  Ok- i have to get off this thread before I start crying!

pets are so precious. all i could think about was when frida was tiny and how many years have passed since then. she's put up with moves to different apartments, different states, different cities, another new cat (otto), a new roommate (my husband), more apartments, then a house, then a dog, then a baby, then another baby. she's been a wonderful pet.

its hard fighting the urge to pick her up and hold her, or move her to a more comfortable spot. animals pick the spot they want, and almost always want solitude. (we're lucky she didn't pick a spot in the basement or in one of the cloests). i'm trying to keep the other pets and the girls away as much as i can, so that she can have some peace. she's not in any pain as far as we can tell. the vet said just to keep her warm and if she seems like she's in pain, to bring her in so they can put her to sleep. i'd rather she pass at home, since she's always hated going to the vet.

okay, i need to go check on her again.

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Autumn, Sorry to hear about your cat. We just lost Gabby, the cat I had grown up with last week. He was 18 years old. Not that another pet can ever take her place but I'm sure there are many great animals at your local shelter hoping and waiting for a good home.

Best wishes. That is tough stuff to go through.

I feel for you.

We had a similar experience with Bigfoot. Even after 4 kids, taking him to the vet one final time was the single moment in time when I realized I'd become an adult.

Mike

Darn you Autumn, I just put make up on and now it's gone.

My dog, Tippy, was diagnosed with Cushings disease last year. She's almost 9 now, and I've had her since she was 10 weeks old. The thought of her passing is so painful for me. I remember the first night home, she cried and cried, so I went down to the kitchen to comfort her, and as I was sitting cross legged on the floor, she came over, climbed in my lap, and fell into a snoring puppy-sleep. Now that she's getting older, her jet black fur is starting to become salt-n-pepper, she's a bit slower, a bit quieter. I'm terrified that she's going to pass while I'm in Ireland, and I can't deal with that. I just want to be there with her....she's always been my puppy. The attachment to an animal is stronger than most of my human attachments....

I'll be thinking of you and Frida.

thanks for your post, courtney. in some ways, i think all the miracles of medicine available for pets are wonderful, but it also makes things difficult. my mom did chemo for her dog dickens a couple years back. it gave him some more time, but that time was more for my mom i think. he had lymphoma and his chances of making a full recovery were very slim. she would have felt very guilty if she didn't try everything to save him (he was only 3 at the time) and he was her 'soul mate' dog. then again, having so many options made it very hard for her to let go. so, i understand your feelings. don't feel guilty. domestic pets have a lot of things provided for them, but that doesn't mean we should provide for them everything, at all costs, especially when its their time to go. if i was an old lady who had lived a long and happy life, and i was so sick i couldn't move, and knew my life was at an end...i wouldn't want it to end in a clinic hooked up to machines. i would want to die peacefully at home.

when the time comes, no doubt my girls will be beside themselves with joy at the idea of a new cat (and maybe even a kitten, or younger cat, but either way we'll get one from feline rescue - the no-kill shelter just down the road where we got our other cat, otto)...as will i. i love pets and three has always felt just right. plus, i think our other pets will eventually want more company.

it sounds harsh, but right now i want my daughter to think about the pet who is leaving us. it might seem like a lot for a 4 year old to think about, but in our culture death is shoved aside so much. its important to me that ella be allowed the chance to think about frida, to ask questions about death, cry and grieve as she needs to, and bury her pet before we think about a new one.

Losing a favorite pet hurts so bad. My cat Sam got hit by a car about three years ago. He was so prickly and soft and funny and about two years old. When mom called to tell me (he was living with them), I cried most of that night. He's buried in their flower garden with a rock marking the spot and pansies planted on top.
Their next cat showed up outside my brother's window one night. So you may be gifted a cat - never know. But give yourself and your family time to grieve. I still miss Sam.

that's the truth. in some ways, it feels like the passing of my youth. i got her just after i'd turned 20. now i'm 33. frida was with me in my crazy 20s. husband, the other pets, house, children...all came later in my 20s or early 30s, and represent a different part of my life. even if we don't take her to the vet to have her put to sleep, the fact that that choice is mine to make is a realization of adulthood.

i've always feared that she would find a spot under a bed or in a closet or the basement, her favorite places to hang out, and we wouldn't know for days that she had died. some days we never see her. she's always been shy of people (other than us) and very nocturnal.

my dog will be 6 in january, and is already acting like an old lady ever since she tore her acl. i have a similar memory of great laying her head in my lap and falling asleep as we were driving back from the farm she was born on in our old vw fox. in my adult life, frida was my first cat and greta was my first dog.

you are so right that the attachment is a strong one. there is a dependance and responsibility that is similar to being a parent...only children eventually grow to be indepenant, while pets remain our wards.

Autumn, my cat Moody passed this past spring after having him for 15 years. It's tough. I went to the county animal shelter and got a new kitten. Named her Miss Kitty and she has took her place along side our two dogs.
btw she keeps them in line. My thoughts are with you.

My thoughts are with you and Frida, Autumn, may she be at peace. One of my beloved girls passed last January. I was incredibly honored and blessed that she chose my bed, curled up against me to spend her last hours. I'm glad that you're getting to spend her last hours with her. And I'm also very glad of your attitude about death and letting your daughter experience this. Its such an important event, and I hate the way our culture treats death in general.


One thing that has helped me, is that my vet offers cremation for pets (I think most do). I scattered her remains in the garden. They also made a little clay impression of one of her paws for me. Its a nice little memorial....


Edited by pippen 2005-11-10 11:57 AM

well, frida died right around noon today.

i checked on her and she reacted slightly, her pupils were still dilating a bit. took out the recycling, then bill and ella were home for lunch. i told ella that frida was still alive, but was probably going to die today. ella walked over to her and said, 'she doesn't look alive anymore.' her eyes were fully dilated, her shallow breathing had stopped, she was luke warm - there was no question, she had passed.

the girls decorated a box for her. we read a bunch of books about death and the cycle of life that my sister in law sent over. we put frida in the box with the towels she had been warmed this morning. we dug a hole in the garden, and picked out a nice big rock from the garden to be a marker. we washed it off and the girls painted it (the paint will wash off when it rains, and then we'll write 'frida' in more permanent paint). we'll wait until tonight to bury her, so we won't feel rushed.

after another round of tears, my husband hugged me and i said 'she was just annoying us a few days ago, how can she be gone?' we both feel like we took her quirkly, meeping personality for granted. i'm already seeing her everywhere in the house.

ella has her drum recital tonight at school. we bought her and fiona small djembe drums for xmas, but i think i might give them early, as a gift in honor of ella's concert and so that the girls can play the drums for the little funeral.

in the spring, we'll plant cat nip and flowers over her.

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Oh autumn, I am so sorry - she was obviously so very, very loved.

*hugs*

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Thank you, Autumn, for sharing this with us. I love your beautiful perspective on "ordinary" things, and as sad as Frida's passing is, your interpretation of the event is truly beautiful.

<snif>

Sendin' my love down the well...

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