you know you live in a small town when..

You know you live in a small town when....

1)....the clerk at the city office who prepares the water bill is someone who remembers you from high school and she calls you at work (in another town, which is long distance) after calling your Mother in the small town to ask for the number (which your Mother gives her because, of course, she knows her).  The reason she is calling is because your bill this month (June) is unusually high, and she wanted to warn you before she sent it to you, so if you have a leak in the system or something, you can have it looked at.  (Turns out it was from watering my garden).

2).....someone wants to track you down, so they Google your last name, find out what town you live in, use the online phone directory, sees only one couple (your parents) in that town with the same last name, calls them and gets them to call you and see if you will contact them.

I SWEAR, I've got about 5 more just like it! 

you can't get away with anything as a kid because everyone knows your momma. 

That's a great one.  Can you even imagine what percentage of the population has no idea what this is, and once explained would think that it's completely ridiculous?

...the only bike shops in town only service bikes with motors.

...you consider the pros and cons of trying an OWS in "Old Man Rush's" pond.

Well, I'm part of that large percentage... SO, what is it???  

...traffic comes in the form of cattle and sheep being herded down major highways.

Of course, you never really know you're from a small town until you move to a big one. Stoplights, elevators, cash registers that spit out your change automatically, and fast food restaurants are all perplexing and brand new....

I know, it's crazy! It's a mentality that would make people from big cities think we're from a whole different planet.  Some day a serial killer is going to catch on to this method of finding his victims.  Probably call my parents first, they'll point him straight to me!

...or get to draft off of a sugar cane tractor.

...or being chased by Border Collies!  They are trained not to chase cars, but they don't very often see people peddaling along on a bike! 

People can find out where you live in about 30 minutes by driving around looking for your red subaru, as it is the only one in town. 

Now if I drove a grey, late model, american made SUV (which everyone seems to have) then they would have to pause and count my vast array of magnetic ribbons.

While trying to run a route, people driving by stop and ask you if they can give you a ride somewhere.  And then, you spend 15-20 minutes catching up.  So your "quick" run suddenly turns into a 90 minute run.   Or, the rural route carrier gives you your parent's mail on that run so they can get it a couple hours sooner than if he delivered it.