Spokes,
I am so sorry to hear things are going badly for you in so many ways. When even triathlon fails you, it's really bad. It makes me wonder what inspired you to start with such a demanding sport. A few observations and suggestions:
I don't belong to a tri club, and you probably shouldn't either. Maybe if you could have found a couple people to train with a couple times a month it would have been a richer, more calming experience.
I've never read your blog, and still might not, but its just possible that the writings of someone who does poorly at our sport might just be something important to hear.
IMO, almost everyone races too much. As of this year I've cut my race list back considerably. I find that it's the training that gives me the true enjoyment. Races give me an entirely different kind of enjoyment, something I've come to realize I don't need very often.
With all that's gone south in your life, it warms my heart that you are keeping your relationship with your bike. So don't hurt her feelings by saying "Recreational cycling for fitness". Just say, "cycling", and leave it at that.
Maybe you're open to being re-inspired. And if you can get there, maybe it will work out for you the second time around. My suggestion is to volunteer to help out with your local high school's cross-country team. It's a fall sport, so now is the time to make the call to the coach. You don't need to be an assistant coach. Offer to be the team photographer, or to help out with the fund raising. You could even be the guy who handles the coach's administrative duties, making arrangements for competing in invitationals, ordering uniforms and getting that big cooler of Gatorade out for the end of the day's practice. Meet the kids and talk to them. See what they have to say about whatever it is they talk about. Watch them run. Watch them interact. Watch them compete. Watch them transform from a group of freshman who enter high school as completely un-gifted athletes, most of whom have never excelled or even been average in a sport before, into true athletes doing the hardest thing they've ever done in their lives. See their confidence and self-esteem grow over the course of the season. Watch them become young adults. I guarantee you will be inspired, and it has nothing to do with whether they are a winning team or not. You will see yourself in those kids. And maybe you will realize that you are still a triathlete, just that this time around it will be on your terms.
Good luck and best wishes.