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thoughts from an elderly gentleman.....
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 2009-07-10 3:59 PM |
 126  |  Subject: thoughts from an elderly gentleman.....in my work i have the capicity to interact closely with individuals on a regular basis and get to know them quite well. an elderly gentleman (78) came to see me a few months ago and fwiw, the talk of bicyle riding and bicycle riders came up. his first words to the subject was that he hated cyclists and when given the chance, he tried to run them off the road. he spoke in total disgust and basically had no good words to say about the riders that he saw in his area. "they" were " a waste of space on the road" and "there" was " no need for them to be out there doing that". i subtly let him know that i rode in his area and that i was one of "those riders". he immediately changed his tone and began to apologize for what he had done to riders in the past......i took no offense to the fact that he may have tried to "kill" me in the past and continued to talk to him. as it turned out, he was a bicyle rider back in "the day" and he still had his bicycle in his garage. in his given state of health he had not been able to ride for "years" and when he saw his bike, it upset him. the longer he talked the more angst he displayed about not being able to ride, worrying if he would even remeber how to ride, worrying that if he got on the bike if he would fall and hurt himself. it was kind of sad to listen to him. the longer we talked the more he asked me about my recent rides and distances. he spoke of how he deeply wished he coudl still do what i and other bicyclists were doing. one of the local yearly rides, he noted, goes past his house and he said that he sat on his porch every year and watched the riders go by just wishing he could join in. in his recent meeting we had, he brought up the Tour de France and i was just beside myself with how much he knew about what was going on in the current tour. he knew waaaaay more than me....and i was blown away with what our meeting conversations had become/turned in to.... certainly gave me a new/different perspective on what i am able to do and the thoughts of jealously that might enter in to my head one of these days should i not be able to ride just because i can... thought i would share that as i remind myself to not take what "I"/"we" do for granted... craig002 |
| 2009-07-10 4:08 PM in reply to: #2277017 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290  The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... Just curious why a former cyclist and current Tour afficionado would have a hatred for other cyclists. Out of jealousy that he could no longer ride? |
| 2009-07-10 4:12 PM in reply to: #2277037 |
| 126 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... that would be it........ |
| 2009-07-10 4:32 PM in reply to: #2277017 |
Member 180 Kayak Point, WA | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... I appreciate you sharing the story. I suspect that there are a lot of people in many aspects of our lives that feel very similarly (not just with riding but obviously with many other activities also) they may not all try to "kill" anyone who is partaking, but they may get some "emotional feeling". The thing that I have learned most with dealing with people is that "most" of the time people are upset at a group (such as you described) they usually either; don't understand why people do it, or have had 1 bad situation and let that cloud their judgement about all others. I feel sorry for people not being able to get past their "issues" and having to resort to anger. Thanks again for sharing, Michael |
| 2009-07-10 4:38 PM in reply to: #2277077 |
| 126 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... i had/have no "real" confirmation that he had ever really tried to run a cyclist off the road nor had i any confirmation that he had ever really tried to hurt a rider. i dont suspect that he ever tried to actually run me off the road BUT the look on his face when i brought up the fact that i road in his area was one of "sheepishness" and embarassment. could have been he was making it up, could have been that he felt guilty for trying to take out his anger on others. bottom line was that he was a closet cyclist and had a deep passion for the sport that he could not participate in anymore that he "covered" by a front of "hatred"..... |
| 2009-07-10 5:32 PM in reply to: #2277087 |
Master 1675  Suwanee, Ga. | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... craig002 - 2009-07-10 5:38 PM i had/have no "real" confirmation that he had ever really tried to run a cyclist off the road nor had i any confirmation that he had ever really tried to hurt a rider. i dont suspect that he ever tried to actually run me off the road BUT the look on his face when i brought up the fact that i road in his area was one of "sheepishness" and embarassment. could have been he was making it up, could have been that he felt guilty for trying to take out his anger on others. bottom line was that he was a closet cyclist and had a deep passion for the sport that he could not participate in anymore that he "covered" by a front of "hatred"..... It is the "Get your a$$ of my lawn" reaction. As someone who is closer to 60 than to 50 I understand the feelings some people have about things that were a big part of their lives and that they can no longer take part in because of physical decline. If fact there are a number of things that aggrivate me and I am very active. I choose to move to other areas or other sports but some people linger, in their minds, in the things they had a special talent and refuse to move on. As these memories are further and further removed there builds up an anger towards those that can still perform...especially those "young whipper-snappers". When these young people are seen performing the task the anger comes to the fore-front. Some people just yell and get angry...hince..."Get off my lawn", while others take out their anger in other ways..i.e. running folks off the road (or at least bragging that they do...when they really don't) these people don't need your approval for this behavior...just bragging about it makes them feel good about themselves. I truely hope I NEVER get to the fill-blown anger stage as I age, but if I do, I SURE hope I come across someone like you that can carry on a great conversation with me and help me to reflect on the great times I have had and rekindle my passion without judging. You are a very important person to this man right now and thank you from one old guy that understands what he is going through. Steve |
| 2009-07-10 5:40 PM in reply to: #2277178 |
| 126 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... You are a very important person to this man right now and thank you from one old guy that understands what he is going through. --you are welcome. and thanks for your comment. i am not a psychologist but i lose a LOT of money in my business pretending to be one....... :-). i was told a long time ago that i would miss out on the better part of my profession by not taking the time to get to know people. i follow those intructions but during busy days, sometimes i struggle. thanks for the reinforcment. craig002 |
| 2009-07-10 5:43 PM in reply to: #2277017 |
| New user 219 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... I can think of a time in my life when I felt intense jealousy of people who seemingly "had it all" and meanwhile I felt cheated by God out of life's enjoyments that everyone takes for granted... I seriously doubt he ever acted on his thoughts!Also, I notice elderly people that I know tend to not filter some things they say and can be quite crotchety. |
| 2009-07-10 5:44 PM in reply to: #2277178 |
| 126 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... PS.....if you ever need someone to bullsh#t with, give me a yell............:-)! |
| 2009-07-10 5:44 PM in reply to: #2277017 |
Elite 3395 Raleigh | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... Want to do a real Mitzvah? Offer to meet with him and take him on a safe bike ride. You will probably make his decade! I have met many older cyclists. Unless he has a health reason for not riding go for it. Alternatively, find an adult trike to borrow for him and go out riding together. Doug |
| 2009-07-10 6:01 PM in reply to: #2277178 |
| Regular 281 | Subject: RE: thoughts from an elderly gentleman..... Reno8 - 2009-07-10 6:32 PM It is the "Get your a$$ of my lawn" reaction. Maybe he met this guy...  I can't wait until I'm old and am allowed to drive a Buick and cuss at kids!!! I use to call my friends who were in college (while I was at work) a "Bunch of GD Fn Pot smoking hippies". I didn't really mean anything by it and it was just a joke more than anything. But I did have real jealousy that they were in college with me having to bust my 6-7days a week moving pool tables while they partied 6-7days a week. It was basically jealousy that I couldn't party when I have partied and remembered how much I loved it, but because of my job I couldn't and it upset me a lot. Pretty cool that he came around and that you found out some cool information. I got flagged down once riding my bike by an old man who I thought wanted to cuss me out way out in the country. He just wanted to talk about my bike because he sees them go by and was curious about them. He was 10x cooler than me once I got talking to him and he had an amazing life story. |
 2009-07-10 9:02 PM in reply to: #2277017 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. Edited by ChrisFL 2009-07-10 9:03 PM |
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