Best metaphors ever

These are outstanding - a list of metaphors that were found in Year 12
> English essays in 2003.
>>
> Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
> compressed by a Thigh Master.
>
> He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
> who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
> boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
> high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
> of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
>
> She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> room-temperature prime English beef.
>
> She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
> before it throws up.
>
> Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>
> He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
>
> The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
> his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
> surcharge-free ATM.
>
> The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
> ball wouldn't.
>
> McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with
> vegetable soup.
>
> From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
> surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in
> the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>
> Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
>
> The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
> them in hot oil.
>
> John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
> never met.
>
> Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
> that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
>
> The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
> plan just might work.
>
> The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
> a while.
>
> "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student
> on $1-a-beer night.
>
> He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
> real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
> something.
>
> The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
> behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
>
> He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
> she were a garbage truck backing up.
>
> She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
>
> She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
>
> It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the
> wall.



Edited by Downunderman 2005-11-30 7:42 PM