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2006-02-01 11:06 AM

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Expert
1180
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Iowa
Subject: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

Which ones should I enroll in?

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Saturday, February 26, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THESE CLASSES, WE ARE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS PER CLASS MAXIMUM.

 

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat. aLSO, Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion:  Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 



2006-02-01 11:09 AM
in reply to: #336411

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Pro
3705
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Vestavia Hills
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Attendance might be limited as these skills appear to be largely unnecessary ...
2006-02-01 11:11 AM
in reply to: #336411

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Elite
2673
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Muskego, WI
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

Enrolling in those classes can only be harmful to the marriage. Set the bar of expectations as low as humanly possible so as to shock and impress your spouse with even the slightest hint of effort. That's my motto.
2006-02-01 11:12 AM
in reply to: #336414

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Resident Curmudgeon
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The Road Back
Gold member
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

huengsolo - 2006-02-01 11:09 AM Attendance might be limited as these skills appear to be largely unnecessary ...

As I read through the list I was thinking the exact same thing.

2006-02-01 11:29 AM
in reply to: #336411

Subject: ...
This user's post has been ignored.
2006-02-01 4:29 PM
in reply to: #336411

Extreme Veteran
760
5001001002525
Provo, UT (my heart is in Seattle)
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Ha ha, don't waste your time with those classes. Although the bathroom one sounds like a good one. I always got annoyed that my roommates would not clean up their missfires. We started having to put money into a jar each time we didn't clean up our pee. At the end of the month the one that was the cleanest took everything. I made a ton of money off of them!


2006-02-01 4:37 PM
in reply to: #336686

Pro
3705
20001000500100100
Vestavia Hills
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

Drewwhite - 2006-02-01 5:29 PM Ha ha, don't waste your time with those classes. Although the bathroom one sounds like a good one. I always got annoyed that my roommates would not clean up their missfires. We started having to put money into a jar each time we didn't clean up our pee. At the end of the month the one that was the cleanest took everything. I made a ton of money off of them!

... or, you obviously are not drinking as much as they are!

2006-02-01 4:51 PM
in reply to: #336411

Master
1597
1000500252525
Colorado
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

This thread should actually be re-titled  "Prerequisite courses for certain BTers (*cough* Jen *cough* Jess *cough* Haley *cough* Liz) to be taken prior to staying at Stake's place".  Actually, not so much Jess, but the rest of you- sheesh...

 

I'm just sayin'...

 

(and I'm also ducking )

2006-02-01 4:54 PM
in reply to: #336411

Master
2052
20002525
Colorado
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

And yet, you let me stay anyway.

Heh. As I was reading down the list I was going "Oh Shit, Stake's gonna have a field day with this. I will never hear the end of it...."

2006-02-01 5:37 PM
in reply to: #336702

Queen BTich
12411
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,
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

Thats right, duck Mikey boy.

I must say I was impressed that you did the dishes and stuff. I felt like I was in a hotel for the weekend. I can't wait to go back! Thanks Chippy, and you've got it made.

Stake - 2006-02-01 5:51 PM

This thread should actually be re-titled  "Prerequisite courses for certain BTers (*cough* Jen *cough* Jess *cough* Haley *cough* Liz) to be taken prior to staying at Stake's place".  Actually, not so much Jess, but the rest of you- sheesh...

 

I'm just sayin'...

 

(and I'm also ducking )

2006-02-01 6:49 PM
in reply to: #336411

Wife, Mother, Friend.
2457
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South
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

where's the one that teaches table manners?  I live with someone who eats like the dining room table is his personal pig trough.

 

 



2006-02-01 7:03 PM
in reply to: #336411

Elite
3223
20001000100100
Hendersonville
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Oh my gosh!! I lived up to Stake's expectations!! I can't believe it!!
2006-02-01 8:18 PM
in reply to: #336411

Elite
3972
200010005001001001001002525
Reno
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

My dell lap top took the chardonay that went out my nose very well

I admit that I need to take a few of these - will they open enrollment to a chick?  of several - me, Lara, and everyone who stayed at Stakes house?

triman50 - 2006-02-01 11:06 AM

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion:  Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.



Edited by bootygirl 2006-02-01 8:24 PM
2006-02-01 8:54 PM
in reply to: #336417

Master
1867
10005001001001002525
The real USC, in the ghetto of LA
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
morey1 - 2006-02-01 11:11 AM


Enrolling in those classes can only be harmful to the marriage. Set the bar of expectations as low as humanly possible so as to shock and impress your spouse with even the slightest hint of effort. That's my motto.


as a guy who is BEARLY still in school he claims "dont set a bar, it guarentees success"
2006-02-01 8:58 PM
in reply to: #336424

Master
1867
10005001001001002525
The real USC, in the ghetto of LA
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Lara - 2006-02-01 11:29 AM

Class 12  How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion:  Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. NEVER make a guy shop with you..  EVER..  this is cruel and unusual punishment..  this is what your girlfriends are for!!


THANK YOU. i explained it to a girl once, i told her imagine what ever "weird" sex thing (that she wouldnt want to do, that her man has asked for) your guy wants to do, that is our form of "shopping... trying things on and seeing what makes us feel good." i told her to imagine 3 hours of it. she never asked her man to shop, as far as i know.
2006-02-01 8:59 PM
in reply to: #336702

Master
1867
10005001001001002525
The real USC, in the ghetto of LA
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Stake - 2006-02-01 4:51 PM

This thread should actually be re-titled  "Prerequisite courses for certain BTers (*cough* Jen *cough* Jess *cough* Haley *cough* Liz) to be taken prior to staying at Stake's place".  Actually, not so much Jess, but the rest of you- sheesh...

 

I'm just sayin'...

 

(and I'm also ducking )



wow they pee all over the walls and the floor!


2006-02-02 5:48 AM
in reply to: #336853

Master
1597
1000500252525
Colorado
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

Well, just one of them.  But I'll never tell which one...

 

tyrant - 2006-02-01 9:59 PM
Stake - 2006-02-01 4:51 PM

This thread should actually be re-titled  "Prerequisite courses for certain BTers (*cough* Jen *cough* Jess *cough* Haley *cough* Liz) to be taken prior to staying at Stake's place".  Actually, not so much Jess, but the rest of you- sheesh...

 

I'm just sayin'...

 

(and I'm also ducking )

wow they pee all over the walls and the floor!
2006-02-02 6:10 AM
in reply to: #336411

Elite
2777
2000500100100252525
In my bunk with new shoes and purple sweats.
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Can't believe the low responce from the BT girls. So should I start a "classes for women" thread and ramp this thing up a bit?
2006-02-02 7:30 AM
in reply to: #337028

Queen BTich
12411
500050002000100100100100
,
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

OOPS. Double post. Sorry.



Edited by TriComet 2006-02-02 7:30 AM
2006-02-02 7:30 AM
in reply to: #337028

Queen BTich
12411
500050002000100100100100
,
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Stake - 2006-02-02 6:48 AM

Well, just one of them.  But I'll never tell which one...

wow they pee all over the walls and the floor!

That explains the rubber sheets. And you had them before I visited so its not me!

2006-02-02 11:26 PM
in reply to: #336411

Elite
2661
20005001002525
DC Metro, slowly working my way to NC
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center
Good lord, I could probably use all of these... It would probably also explain why I hear "I've never met a gal quite like you before" a lot.


2006-02-03 10:57 AM
in reply to: #336411

Champion
4902
20002000500100100100100
Ottawa, Ontario
Subject: RE: Finally! Men's Only Classes at my Fitness Center

I am okay with most of these issues as  I am the "stay at home" partner and do most of the cleaning and the cooking anyways.  I would benefit greatly from two classes though:

Class 10  "Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? "  For me, sittling quietly while my wives DRIVES is impossible.  Of course she doesn not drive the car, she aims it ... like a  gun!!!  Pretty scary!

Class 12, "How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion".  I hate shopping and can never relax in shopping mall that is overheated and crowded.  BUT, she drags me with her anyways!!!!!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggg.......

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