am i a mean person -- rant

I agree with your not giving them money.  Once I was walking on the street and some drunkard came up and asked for some  changes.  I said no.  He started following me and yelling at me.  He said "hey, give me some money.  I need the money.  I want a cigarette. ...." Luckily it was a big and busy street and he wan't going to anything to me. 

I hope you don't have more of these people in your store t scare your customers away. 

Yeah, but it's not like he won his home in a lottery.  This is a frustrating topic.  Just like there are rich people who earned every penny and then there are some who were handed everything there are homeless who are there because of bad breaks/circumstances and then there are some homeless who have put themselves in that position.  I think most of us would like to help out if we could but we would prefer if our donations (cash, food, clothing) help the people who will actually use our help to try to improve their situation.  We want there to be a tangible, long term benefit to our help.  How do we know who is who?  My preference is to go through organizations that provide help for these people in the form of food and shelter/housing.  Those groups work with these people and are far better qualified to decide where to put the money than I am. 

I worked at a homeless shelter for about three years and learned a big lesson......I thought they were all there because they were down on their luck and just needed some motivation/education/encouragement/a hand up.  I was wrong.  I'd estimate 90% of them have substance abuse problems or mental illness....generally both. 

Normally, people with these problems have support systems....families,etc.  But when these problems arise for people that 1) never had a family to start with or 2)have burned all of their bridges......they remain homeless.

I used to train the volunteers by telling them that most of these folks were never taught social skills......Everyone has to make their own call for their own situation.....the whole trashing the lady's project was out of line.....buy hey, they've got nothing to lose.  When I'm approached, I try to be kind, make eye contact and often tell them no.  But sometimes I give it to them.....

Difficult, touchy subject.  Just treat someone as you would like to be treated......and sometimes that means saying no and sometimes that means calling the police.  Wow, good luck.

Homeless people aren't going to disappear, not in this society. I won't make excuses for them. Many of them made bad choices at some point in their lives to get where they are, but many others are mentally ill and "abondoned" by the system. But regardless, in this capitalistic society they will always be there. I like to think, when I see them, "there but for the grace of God go I." Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't. Sometimes they hassle me, sometimes they don't. But you have to put up with it. A smile usually works wonders, though.

Now you could move to a place that doesn't have so many, if you don't want to deal with them. Places where it's damn cold much of the year probably have the least. But in LA, they're there to stay.

I concur, and my experience is similar.

What we as individuals ought to do about it is complicated and will probably vary from person to person.

I volunteered for many years at a boarding house that had folks in and out from the street on a regular basis. All of them had mental illness of one kind or another.

So now, I'll sometimes give folks money. More importantly, I think, is to always acknowledge their humanity. Eye contact, a kind word, some time spent listening to their story, these things are sometimes much more valuable than money.

And with folks who are violent, like the one in your store, you need to protect yourself and those you are responsible for. I think it would have been appropriate to call the police in your situation.

This was a small problem in New Orleans before the hurricane, but everything's change now.  Lots of people who are homeless for far different reasons than those before.  Lots of people had places to live but lived paycheck to paycheck and are now out of home and job.  You see lots of signs like "Need help.  Willing to work" in places that I'd never seen a homeless person before.  I geniunely don't know what to do or think in those situations.  Most are just victims of circumstance.

It's a tough one.

I get frustrated by this too. Around where I work, we have lots of homeless people asking for money at the exit ramps from the highway. At our orientation, Public Safety encouraged us to not give to these people, but instead offer a card with information on a few shelters within walking distance from the University. Giving them money only encourages them to stay there, so when I see people giving to them, it drives me nuts. It also really messes with traffic but that's another story. The problem is, however, that we only were given 3 cards and it's not easy enough to get more.

I was at an area gas station and someone asked me for two bucks to go to the metro, I didn't have it all, but I gave him a dollar. As soon as I gave it to him, he started walking...away from the metro station. I felt totally had.

Are their local shelters close by you can refer some of these people too? At least you could offer them an alternative to loitering around your store. 

While that's great to say and believe, what would you have people do?  I agree with the sentiment as I'm sure most do, but the practical side of it is what's difficult.

I think treat them like people and not detritis. 

Which doesn't answer the question of what to do when they ask for money.  That's the point of this thread. 

I often hand them food if I have any. You can spare an energy bar. Or if you happen to be coming out of, oh, say McDonalds and a nice homeless girl opens a door for you, you could buy her something off the dollar menu.

And if you don't have anything (or don't want to give anything), just look them in the eye and smile and don't act afraid or grossed out and say, "I'm sorry, I don't have anything, but good luck!" Treating someone like a human being goes a long way.

I'm not sure you guys are quite getting my point.  Nobody's advocating treating them badly or inhumanely.  The problem is that you can't do something for everybody, and then you have to ask yourself who you're going to buy something for or give something to.  If you live in an area with lots of homeless people, where do you draw the line?  For those of you who don't live in an area like that, I can understand why this is difficult to imagine.

Again, I don't have all the answers, and I admitted it's tough.

When I was in grad school, I used to walk back and forth from home to campus. This walk basically took me from one end of downtown to the other; about a 30-40 minute walk total.

I did this walk everyday, twice a day. I saw almost the exact same people everyday, twice a day, for two years. They knew me, I knew them. Sitting on whichever corner they sat on was their job. I don't know why it was their job, I'm sad that it was, but there they were. When I saw the same exact people asking for money every single day, I became much less likely to give them anything.  They would still be there the next day. I wasn't helping them advance out of their situation. Occassionally if I had my lunch that I had packed I would give it away and buy something on campus, but any requests for money from me were always met with "if I had money, do you think I'd be walking?" (which, actually, was true most of the time. Metro home? 3 bucks. Walking? Free)

It's hard to not feel for someone who is sitting out in the freezing cold. That sucks. But I can acknowledge their humanity while also acknowledgeing that down on your luck is one thing, choosing the stay stationary on a stoop downtown for years is another. 

Well said Chippy.

And Derek, I agree with you.  Like I said earlier I think most people would want to help, but we want to make sure our help is meaningful, and going to people who truly benefit from it.  We don't want to be "enablers" as Chippy said. 

It's frustrating to have to face a person on the street and say "no" when you wish they could know what you have done for the homeless through other means.  There's no point in telling them because you didn't help them specifically. 

I would imagine it's like when a Boston Qualifier is doing an LSD and a newbie sprints by thinking he's all that and a bag of chips.  The BQ'er would love to torch the guy but in the long run he's doing what's best.  This is a simplistic and almost silly analogy to a very serious issue but it's all I've got.

Smile. If you want to give them some money, do so. If not, say no thanks. Pretty simple... 

Yes, but you responded to a post that was commenting on compassion.  I agree with what you said, but it wasn't addressing the point at hand.

I've lived in Atlanta, Los Angeles and Houston and dealt (and still deal with ) homeless people daily. And it really is simple: smile and acknowledge them. Give if you want to, say no thanks if you don't. You're not obligated to give them money, so you don't need to feel guilty if you don't.  If they harass you, walk away.

You're absolutely right. I live in Helena, Montana. We have some, but not an overwhelming amount of homeless people. And our homeless people are frickin' studs. It gets cold here! But that's beside the point. I guess my answer to your question is in the second part of what you just quoted. Just give them a smile, a moment's compassion and wish them well. Just say you're not carrying any cash. (For me, that's almost never a lie. And it's part of the reason I buy them stuff in whatever store I'm going into.)

The thing that drives me nuts isn't that folks don't want to give to every single homeless person they see. It's that you are talking about them like they're an obstacle rather than a person.

As a side note, I consider myself lucky to live in a place with some homeless people. It reminds me and gives me the opportunity to be generous, but I don't get overwhelmed or desensitized.

Treating these people like people *is* compassionate. Ignoring them, telling them to f&*k off or get a job, walking faster, crossing the street so you don't have to deal with them isn't. 

See, that's where the problem lies.  On one hand, you have people advocating compassion.  Great.  When the issue of what to actually do comes up, the answer is "Do what you feel like."  Being nice is great and all, but I see a huge disconnect between the two positions above.