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Jokes that science nerds might appreciate.
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 2013-12-03 10:47 AM |
Master  1970     Somewhere on the Tennessee River |  Subject: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate.An atom walks into a bar and starts searching for something. The bartender asks what is wrong. The atom says, "I think I have lost an electron." The bartender says, "Are you sure?" The atom responds, "Yes, I'm positive."
Ba da bump. I'm bored. If you are bored, too, please join in. |
| 2013-12-03 10:52 AM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Master 5557 , California | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Q: How did the mathematician relieve his constipation? A: He worked it out with a pencil.
/duck |
| 2013-12-03 10:58 AM in reply to: spudone |
Extreme Veteran 3025 Maryland | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long. The statistician yells "We got him!" |
| 2013-12-03 11:52 AM in reply to: dmiller5 |
Champion 10668 Tacoma, Washington | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Originally posted by dmiller5 A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long. The statistician yells "We got him!" Good one! |
| 2013-12-03 12:08 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Champion 9407 Montague Gold Mines, Nova Scotia | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. A bartender says, "we don't serve your kind here." Two faster than light neutrinos walk into a bar. |
| 2013-12-03 1:24 PM in reply to: gsmacleod |
| Deep in the Heart of Texas | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Helium walks into a bar, |
| 2013-12-03 4:11 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Member 3149 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Q: What does an acorn say when it grows up? A: Gee, I'm a tree! (say it real fast-->Geometry) Corney I know, but it is my mother's favorite joke (she was a math teacher for 30 years). |
| 2013-12-03 4:20 PM in reply to: drfoodlove |
| Deep in the Heart of Texas | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. |
| 2013-12-03 5:21 PM in reply to: Hook'em |
Champion 16151 Checkin' out the podium girls | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Two engineering students, Bob and Ed, are riding their bikes. Bob says to Ed, "That's a nice bike; is it new?" Ed replies, "Well, that's an interesting story. I was walking on campus the other day, and a beautiful woman rides up to me, gets off her bike and puts it on down, takes off all of her clothes and throws them down, and says 'Take what you want.'" Bob says to Ed, "Good choice; the clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway." |
| 2013-12-03 6:56 PM in reply to: pitt83 |
Master 2380 Beijing | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a duck? A: Elephant Duck sine theta.
Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain lion and a mountain goat?A: Nothing. You can't cross scalars.
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| 2013-12-03 6:57 PM in reply to: pitt83 |
Champion 9407 Montague Gold Mines, Nova Scotia | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Just saw this one on Slowtwitch; I think I have a new favourite science joke  Heisenberg and Schrodinger were driving down the road when the police pulled them over. "Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer demands. "No, but I know exactly where I am," replies Heisenberg. "You were going 150km/h," replies the officer. "Dammit, now we're lost," says Heisenberg. Upset, the officer demands they get out of the car and begins to search the vehicle. When the search is concluded, the officer comes over and says, "well, I don't know what you jokers are up to but did you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?" Infuriated, Schrodinger responds, "well now we do." |
| 2013-12-03 9:20 PM in reply to: gsmacleod |
Member 432 Calgary, AB | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Originally posted by gsmacleod A bartender says, "we don't serve your kind here." Two faster than light neutrinos walk into a bar. Love this!
But just remember: You're either part of the solution, or part of the precipitate.
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| 2013-12-03 10:02 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Elite 4344 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Not really science but I liked it.
Which two composers do you take with you to the grocery store? Chopin Lizst |
| 2013-12-04 1:24 AM in reply to: tech_geezer |
Regular 1023 Madrid | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Also not science but banking not feeling a lot of love these days either. So- This is our balance sheet. On the left side nothing is right. And on the right side nothing is left.... |
| 2013-12-04 6:03 AM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Member 3149 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. This is my favorite science joke, but my wife says I'm no longer allowed to tell it to anyone because it is just to nerdy... One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to be “It.” As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himself. When Einstein opened his eyes, he immediately saw Newton and said “I found you Newton,” but Newton replied, “No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!”. |
| 2013-12-04 9:24 AM in reply to: drfoodlove |
Pro 9391 Omaha, NE | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Two chemists walk into a bar and the first says, "I'll have some H20". The second says, "I'll have some H20 too". The second one dies. |
| 2013-12-04 3:18 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
| 169 , Oregon | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Q: Why can't you trust Atoms? A: They makeup everything. An infectious disease enters a bar. The bartender says we don't serve your kind in here. The disease replies well you're not a very good host. |
| 2013-12-05 4:03 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
| 504 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Guy 1: You heard the joke about sodium? Guy 2: Na |
| 2013-12-05 11:22 PM in reply to: skibummer |
Member 432 Calgary, AB | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. |
| 2013-12-06 12:23 AM in reply to: Hoos |
Master 2380 Beijing | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. |
| 2013-12-06 10:23 AM in reply to: moondawg14 |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. |
| 2013-12-06 10:36 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. I like this thread!! |
| 2013-12-06 10:44 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Master 3888 Overland Park, KS | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. One of my all time favs but enginerdy more than science nerdy Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" |
| 2013-12-06 10:45 AM in reply to: 1stTimeTri |
Member 432 Calgary, AB | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. |
| 2013-12-06 10:55 AM in reply to: Hoos |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Jokes that science nerds might appreciate. Boy do we need a like button! |
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