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Old memories (Page 2)
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 2005-09-15 5:56 PM in reply to: #247593 |
Buttercup  14334    |  Subject: RE: Old memoriesbigfish - 2005-09-15 4:11 PM I don't know if the majority of married people or people in relationships could handle listening about past relationships, loves and even friendships. I didn't advocate sharing the details of his past relationship(s) with her - I don't think she wants or needs to hear about that. I certainly wouldn't want to hear about the relationship. But keeping mementos from your life is ok. My exhusband stayed in touch with his ex-girlfriend; they were still friends. I trusted him and it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I told him to invite her to Florida for a visit, she could stay with us. Turns out, she was the one who wasn't comfortable with me. Too bad! I would feel alot better hearing my SO talk about the good things in his past relationships, than the bad. If all he did was bad mouth his ex-girlfriend, that would probably put me off. I'd like to think he was capable of happy relationships. |
 2005-09-15 6:01 PM in reply to: #247605 |
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| 2005-09-15 6:06 PM in reply to: #247649 |
New user 80 california | Subject: RE: Old memories Renee - 2005-09-15 2:56 PM bigfish - 2005-09-15 4:11 PM I don't know if the majority of married people or people in relationships could handle listening about past relationships, loves and even friendships. I didn't advocate sharing the details of his past relationship(s) with her - I don't think she wants or needs to hear about that. I certainly wouldn't want to hear about the relationship. But keeping mementos from your life is ok. My exhusband stayed in touch with his ex-girlfriend; they were still friends. I trusted him and it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I told him to invite her to Florida for a visit, she could stay with us. Turns out, she was the one who wasn't comfortable with me. Too bad! I would feel alot better hearing my SO talk about the good things in his past relationships, than the bad. If all he did was bad mouth his ex-girlfriend, that would probably put me off. I'd like to think he was capable of happy relationships. Compliment- spoken from a self confident secure person, that's nice. Was it reciprocated though? Did you have friends that you could hang out with or spend the weekend with? I am in full agreement with you. The trick is to find someone who is just as confident and secure, which is for the most part impossible. O.k. maybe extreme, just hard to find. |
| 2005-09-15 6:30 PM in reply to: #244355 |
Champion 8903  | Subject: RE: Old memories I voted for the fireproof storage box in case of natural disaster...only because it had zero votes and it looked lonely. I'm more concerned with the "we are still chatting every know and then on email, but only until recently" statement. You don't want to store the fireworks along with the matches. Edited by max 2005-09-15 6:31 PM |
| 2005-09-15 6:52 PM in reply to: #247640 |
| Champion 11641 Fairport, NY | Subject: RE: Old memories Downunderman - 2005-09-15 6:37 PMThanks guys. I didn't realise a simple poll to turn into a philosophical debate on relationships. . They usually either change into that, or a less philisophical debate on "tire maintenance". |
| 2005-09-15 6:57 PM in reply to: #247675 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2005-09-15 7:23 PM in reply to: #244355 |
| Champion 6285 Beautiful Sonoma County | Subject: RE: Old memories I have a box for "things I don't look at all the time, but want to keep for the future". In that box are photos from my "previous life", or in this case "lives" -- mean ex-BFs, former friends, stuff from the past, etc. As for "chatting" with your ex, if it's in a way that's ok with you and your fiancee, then who else should care? I talk with my ex a couple of times a month. Generally, the phone call is made because of business (he and I are still linked financially for a while -- very long story). My BF knows when he calls, knows that there's nothing "shady" going on, etc. We wind up chatting about life-stuff too. I ask about his parents, he asks about mine. It is in no way disrepectful to my current BF -- who knows that I love him dearly and would never hurt him. But, I can say that when I was still with my ex, he PINED for an ex-GF and used photos of her and talk about her to hurt me (as well as other women). But, then again, he's a jerk like that. That's the #1 reason why he's my EX. My advice: keep the photos, but put them away in a special box of "your stuff". And make sure your fiancee knows that she's the only woman you want to be with now! |
| 2005-09-15 9:03 PM in reply to: #244355 |
| Expert 615 Brisbane | Subject: RE: Old memories I must clarify the geography of the situation also. She is in Charlotee, NC, I am in Australia. Not as though we are planning rendezvous meetings any time soon. So that I think is settling for my fiance. |
| 2005-09-16 8:52 AM in reply to: #247660 |
| Buttercup 14334 | Subject: RE: Old memories bigfish - 2005-09-15 6:06 PM Was it reciprocated though? Did you have friends that you could hang out with or spend the weekend with? Yep. I had a friend who I had been madly in love with years before meeting my husband; we had long since moved from romantic interests to trusting friendship long before I met my husband. He was an important part of my life, as are all my friends. |
| 2005-09-16 11:50 AM in reply to: #247734 |
Champion 5495 Whizzzzzlandia Silver member | Subject: RE: Old memories Yes, that is pretty geographically severe!  |
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