How many BTers does it take...? (Page 2)

There are a ton more, you can get to them here:  http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/88old/bulb.html

WARNING: This file contains material of a satirical nature. It may be offensive to members of the following groups:

Californians      Oregonians     New Yorkers        Jersey-ans     Politicians       Communists     Pro-lifers         Feminists     Parents           

Babies         Students           Frat rats     Economists        Soldiers       WASPs              Animals     Athletes          Artists        

Professors         Psychiatrists     Doctors           Lawyers        Accountants        Managers     Christians        Jews           Buddhists 

Gods     Polish people     Russians        Homosexuals     Hardware people   Tech Writers   Marketing people   Software people     

Necrophiliacs     FSEs  

and by now many others who are no doubt offended to have been left off this list. The last time I looked there were 139 jokes in this file.

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.

A': Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None 'o yo' f-in' business!

A': 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

A': None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. That's a hardware problem.

A': One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.

A'': Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. That's a software problem.

A': None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q: How many FSE's does it take to replace a dead light bulb?

A: Who can tell. FSE's are always in the dark.

A': 2. One to hold the bulb and one to pound it in (etc)

Note: FSE's are ``Field Service Engineers.''

Q': How long will it take?

A': That's indeterminate. It depends on how many dead bulbs they've brought with them.

Q'': What if you have two dead bulbs?

A'': They replace your fuse box.

Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.

Q: How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There's a primitive for that.

1 person to start crying because BT is great.

1 person to spit water on their monitor.

1 person to spit Diet Coke on their keyboard.

Yes, "they" need to be on medication. Right.

Ok,

2 BTers to hijack.

I say hook 'em up to a car's ignition system and really give 'em a shock!

I'd say I didn't do too bad this time. I could have started a thread on Coke vs Pepsi, how school sucks, why the sky is blue,or Chuck Norris haunting the dreams of run4yrlif. But noooooo.....

1 more BTer to tell the lighbulb how, since shaving her head to give the hair to locks of love and raise money and awareness for cancer research, her eyes just really stand out georgeous with a bald head.

Oh wait, that is Janelle.

3 BTers to dress up and have a drink while everybody else is actually changing the lightbulb.