When shark attack..... (Page 2)

I just check my family histork for shark killing.  My great uncle took out a few blues in his day.  Also my Mastiff once nipped at a Nurse shark while playing fetch at the beach.  I'm doomed... Those sharks have good memories...Perhaps my dog can swim with me.  She displays good shark defense skills.  Big chompers and a mean bark....

Really.. and here I was living my life scared of being crushed by a vending machine ..

This is the fact.. here is a wikipedia page (attempting to) list the name of every person killed by shark attack since before 1900... try that with automobile fatalities, heart attack, drowning or any thousands of other ways... there is a huge difference probability and possibility .. and thats my point..

I read this over 30 mintues ago and I haven't stopped laughing yet!  I never caught the typo in the original post, but once the error was spotted I nearly fell out of my chair.

Reading that particular sentence is infinitely more funny now, than what it originally seemed to be the first time I read it.  Ooohh the Hilarity of it!!!!!

Sharks will attack you alone OR in a group.  You're on THEIR turf and they find humans a tasty, easy meal.  If they're hungry, they'll attack, kill and eat you.  Now marine biologists have found that sharks can be territorial.  Even if they're not hungry, they attack you just to drive you away.  Of course you'll bleed to death from your missing leg even if they don't eat you.

I would avoid the ocean at ALL costs!  Jellyfish, stingrays, moray eels, killer whales, sharks, even salt-water crocodiles!  There are just too many creatures in the ocean bent on your demise.  You're nothing but easy pickin's to most deadly sea creatures.  Sharks are found in EVERY ocean and some sharks like the Bull shark can swim hundreds of miles into FRESH WATER!  So even in a river or lake, you're screwed.

No.  Just give up triathlons and all thoughts of open water swimming.  It's too dangerous.  That's why man invented pools.  I'm telling you - the ocean's a deathtrap just waiting to end your life in a gory, bloody, screaming, horrible manner!

And if you think you're even safe on a boat on the ocean... think again!

I don't know what is the big deal with sharks...but...I have swam with them at the Keys, Florida....LOL

Personally I'm just afraid of the ocean. I mean think about it, It is essentially a giant toilet bowl your swimming in. Your afraid of sharks? think about all the shark pee that is floating around in the ocean, not to pention the giant whale logs floating out there. Disguisting, I don't know how any of you can swim in open water YUK!!!!!

There have been lots of ocean triathlon swims... worldwide. As far as I know, no one has ever been attacked during a tri.

Although it may look like a mass dinner bell being rung for sharks, perhaps to them it looks like the Revenge of the Seals.

I just want to hear what your Dad did to teach the shark a lesson.

Which is why I pee in the local pool - to right the cosmic balance.

Gotta LOVE that despair.com "Flying Sharks" poster!

Just getting tired of the whole, "will a shark get me?" thing.  People have to learn that the most dangerous thing about a triathlon is...

DRIVING TO AND FROM IT!

During WWII when Bigfuzzydad was on the island of Okinawa, he took a break to go for a swim.  While swimming, a large, 15-foot Great White shark attempted to attack him.  Bigfuzzydad grabbed the shark by the claspers, spun it around and bit down on the top of its head instantly snapping its spine and killing it.  Dad then swam to shore and dragged the three thousand pound fish onto the beach and called out, "sushi time!"  Where upon many of his Marine batallion decended on the beast and devoured it raw.  When he was done, Bigfuzzydad kicked back and enjoyed a warm beer with his friend and mentor, Chuck Norris.  Because Chuck is timeless, ageless, immortal and with Bigfuzzydad, single-handedly won the war.  (Rumor has it that the atomic explosions on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not actually bombs, but Chuck Norris farts after an intense night out of Mexican bean burritos and beer with Bigfuzzydad!)

Here's a REAL Bigfuzzydad war story...

In late March of '45 on Iwo Jima, Bigfuzzydad's battalion was marching back to the beach to be picked up by landing craft (and transported to the next island).  They were very excited to get off THAT volcanic piece o' shite island.  As they were marching down a hill and towards the beach they heard aircraft approaching and realized that a squadron of Kamikazes were flying very low over the rise towards the naval vessels waiting to pick them up.

"What should we do," shouted a soldier to dad?!
"Take them out NOW!  That's our ride they're attacking.  If you don't want to be stuck on this piece of shite island for another month, you'll shoot them down!"

So the battalion unloaded everything they could at the planes.  Bigfuzzydad said that the planes were so low, some of the guys were throwing ropes up into the props to bring the planes down!  Bigfuzzydad emptied his machine gun into the canopy of an approaching plane and it crashed into the sand about a hundred yards away without blowing up.  Dad ran to it and did what any self-respecting Joe would have done...  gather souveniers!  He got the wallet and pictures from the dead pilot, a book, a hari kari sword, a rising sun Japanese flag and the dead pilot's kamikaze headband.  I still have the sword and headband.

Years later after the war, dad tracked down the family of the pilot and sent them a letter explaining how the pilot had died honorably in battle and sent them the wallet and family pictures.  Little did he know that this was actually a HUGE insult to them!  It was considered a disgrace and failure for a kamikaze pilot to not complete his mission.  The family was polite when they wrote back, but asked that he never tell anyone that the pilot was shot down and failed at his mission.

One day I'll tell you about how Bigfuzzydad drank HOT, "sitting-in-the-sun" cans of Budweiser, even 40 years after the war was over... 

Just saying....

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At least your dad had a bit of class; mine would leave the barn we were working in, grab a can of  Milwaukee's Best or Black Label from under the seat of his Chevy truck and drink it...we lived in Dublin, TX, and he'd do this in the middle of the afternoon in July.  I'm surprised the cans didn't explode from the heat.  He'd also leave his morning coffee on fence-posts and drink it later that afternoon, after removing the dead flies....oh, and we raised pigs, so you can just imagine where the flies had just been standing previously...on a big ol' pork Cleveland Steamer.

Not true ..... there are documented accounts of a tri back a few years where a few members of the pro field were nibbled on and chased.  Can't remember which pro woman it was, but she basically swam over someone and said "shark" to them and they all booked it to the beach.  Some good swim splits that day!!

Great... now I have that Jaws theme song in my head.