Polygamy? (Page 2)

My wife (who's bi) saw that show and we actually had a fun fantasy discussion about it last night, as to what the roles of the other wife would be.  We couldn't think of anyone we had met that might meet both of our needs tho'. Although she did suggest the unbelieveably cute 18 year old babysitter we use.  To which I immediately responded that she was way too young and that she was just a child (I assume my wife was just testing me).

it's a great fantasy, but the reality is that marriage is challenging enough as it is.  The two previous posters above me summed it up well.

the sad part about it is that in poligamist societies, such as Colorado City - it's a really sick and demented state of affairs.  the powerful men in the community essentially rape the young girls, who are brought up to know nothing else.  It's a very closed and warped society.  Read "under the banner of heaven" by John Krakower.

Edited by morey000 2010-10-15 12:15 PM

I guess it's fine if everyone is truly consenting. Besides paying for them all, the problem I see is time management. How is he gonna spend time with all those kids? They're probably all close-ish to the same age. How does he go to all those recitals/games/practices/teacher conferences? Or is that the wives' jobs? If they do all the kid-raising, then for practical purposes that's like being a single parent with rotating 'benefits'. Seems a bit empty to me. I haven't seen either show - Oprah or the other one. Do they all live together? I would hate that. Way too many people.

I like spending time with my husband. We do lots of stuff together. If he were busy with Kids #1,2 &3 with wife #2, then repeat with #s 4-8 with wives #3&4, etc, do I just get Thursday evenings and the occasioal brunch? If so, then I'll probably be finding someone else to hang out with the rest of the time. And then why am I married again? That doesn't seem like much of a partnership to me.

Seems like it would end up like a typical single parent set-up. Mom 'has' to be the rule enforcer 24/7, dad 'gets' to come in for the afternoon, have a good time and head out before all that bedtime chore stuff. With all the accompanying arguments of the real positives and negatives of "has to" and "gets to".

Which begs the question of social custom and expectations. I expect a f/t partner in my life and do not expect to have extensive family as permanent live-ins all my life. Other cultures/areas of the world have different expectations of 'family'.  Even so it still seems like there would be "favorites" and power plays among the dependents. Especially when only one person has the money. Money = power and opportunity. Everyone wants their piece of that.

Oscar Wilde said it best.  Bigamy is one wife too many.  So is monogamy....

I have 2 daugthers, a wife and a female dog -- I have enough women in my life and certainly don't need another PITA

I could swing it as a new team.  It's another source of income, another person to help with chores, another person to laugh, love, etc.  I would just find one wife who is an expert swimmer, one who is an expert cyclist, and another who kicks butt running.  Then I would make the deal that I get pizza if I catch any of them in their chosen sport.

Extra income
Extra help
Extra pizza
Free tri training

Just be careful of which women you choose...you may not have pizza ever again.

Poly amorous relationships are not uncommon in the gay community and int he straight kink community.  My best friend spent 12 years in a relationship with 2 other men.  They all lived in a house and each added something different to the relationship.  They slept together in the same bed and loved each other.  It ended up falling apart, not because it was a poly amorous relationship, but because of personality conflicts that developed over time.  

I could imagine being in one, but my husband wants to be monogamous...so we are monogamous.  As for Polygamy that stems from 1 man with many wives that all live in separate places (Big Love) type setup...don't know how that could work.  The logistics and time management aspects would drive me nuts. 

I am probably terribly old fashioned about love, but I wouldn't be interested.  I chose my husband because I wanted to be with him and him only.  I wasn't looking for a mate to share burdens, making the idea of having more folks involved appealing.  I am satisfied with what I get from the marriage emotionally, physically, etc.  I don't see myself being married to a "guy who fulfilled something", rather I am married to Mr. Bikergrrrl because I like him.   

If I weren't with Mr. Bikergrrrl for some reason, I wouldn't even really be interested in seeking a new person to fill that spot.

But then again, I am really a loner in many ways and don't have any problems with going out alone, seeing movies, etc. and don't need a ton of people in my life.   I could see how someone more social would find this appealing as perhaps they have more to give.   This may also explain part of why I am not interested in kids.  I am not saying those who want kids (or multiple husbands or whatever) are lacking something, but that I am very simple and satisfied as-is.

Now, I cannot see why a husband would want multiple wives.  I know it's in jest, but the earlier comment about "I give them four weeks until they conspire against me" is probably not too far from reality...

Edited by BikerGrrrl 2010-10-15 1:38 PM

fixt!!

My high school history teacher told us the Chinese symbol for trouble was -- two women under one roof.

Having seen several "America's Next Top Model" episodes, I've seen what happens with that many females in the same house... No way in H3!! do I want to be mixed up in any of that.

I have seen the show and here are some things to keep in mind.
3 of the children are not his - he just married into them with wife #4.
With one of his wives he only has 1 child.
The other children are obviously with the other 2 wives.
I am not sure about the new wife, I haven't seen the most recent episode but she was a single Mom so I am guessing she works.  One of his wives works fully time, one part time and one is a SAHM.  The one that works loves working, the one that stays home does because that is her choice.  She is the primary caregiver while the other parents are working.
The Father/Husband drives a Lexus sports car and they live in a nice home so it looks like they are doing just fine financially before they even got this TV gig which I am sure pays pretty well.

They all live under the same roof but have separate living quarters.  It is a home built by a polygamist, the house is split in thirds and each wife has her own bedroom and living area with a common kitchen.  Not sure where they are puting wife #4 right now.  The last episode I saw she lived in a house about a mile away.

It seems for some people (not me) it isn't about splitting your love but multiplying your love.  Maybe for some folks it's like having more than one child.  For our family more kids = more love.  Also they have siblings to take care of some of their needs so they don't need Dad and I for every little thing.  Maybe this is also the case for the wives - they get some of their companionship from each other so they don't need a husband as often/much.  They do each have one night with him all to themselves which is honestly more than most the married people I know have in a mono relationship.  I hear couples all the time say they haven't had dinner with their spouse alone for weeks.
As far as kids - there are older kids that are of driving age.  I know lots of kids who have one Mom one Dad and one or no siblings and nobody is at their football/soccer/basketball games.  When you have a big family maybe it's not both Mom and Dad but maybe the other Mom and some of the kids?

Obviously I don't know and have only seen the show this first season but I can see how this would work for people who went into it eyes wide open knowing what they were getting into as adults.  All the wives have said they never wanted to be a 'single' wife.  The second wife even said she didn't want to be a first wife but a second wife.  The sisterhood of being in a poly marriage appeals to them.

Either way you look at it I don't get them considering prosecution.  All adults, they should be able to decide who they live with and who they have sex with.  It's not like they are getting government assistance or anything like that.



Edited by KeriKadi 2010-10-15 3:00 PM

For a very short period of time...

Hmm, send me over Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Natalie Portman, and I'll think about it.

Seriously, I'm basically a bigamist already.  Why?  Because my wife is once...twice, three times a lady.
and I loooooove her.  She rocks!!!

 

Polygamy is just dandy if you can handle it. Watch Big Love and it will probably scar you for life on the idea. Maybe not though, since I'm all for it personally. So is the wife, but I think her reasons have to do with having an extra set of hands to kick my arse.

Yo Zed, I think that's more, "42-39-56, YOU CAN SAY SHE'S KINDA LAAAARGE!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42F5Kxs0vSg&feature=related



On topic, yeah, I don't get polygamy.  But, if that's what they like, so be it. (of course as long as they're consenting adults)

And yet, nearly dead on the Magic Number waist-to-hip ratio, at .6964!

TMI.

Holy crap!  You're right!  No wonder Rosie had a song written about her!  Nice work Citysky.  That really is a magic number.
 

"... Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she's got it all...
"
Fixed.

One might at first think, hmm lots of pizza.  As in dude walks into the room and just asks who feels like pizza tonight?

Sounds good eh?  One isn't in the mood, another one probably is. Until you realize that women living in groups tend to sync up their cycles...so you'd have several that don't feel like it or are off limits for a week, and holy moly,  a dozen of them with PMS at the same time!

Almost feel sorry for the dudes thinking about that one.

With all the headaches (haha headaches) you got to wonder what kind of void a man like that is trying to fill to put up with all that extra work?!?

-eric

I think Hugh Hefner is doing alright with all the women under one roof. Granted...he's not married to any of them, but he's doing alright.