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Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... (Page 2)
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 2005-09-24 10:05 AM in reply to: #252511 |
Elite Veteran  610   chicago area |  Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... |
| 2005-09-24 10:07 AM in reply to: #252588 |
Elite Veteran 610 chicago area | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... marmadaddy - 2005-09-23 2:54 PM Opus - 2005-09-23 4:03 PM "Typically we don't have the bandwidth to tackle this project. But by pro-actively leveraging our core competencies through a bottom up identification of the required skill sets, we feel that we can meet all of the milestones and expectations that you have and provide you with a backward compatible, regression tested prototype within two weeks, but we can discuss the finer details off-line." OMG you were just in that meeting too!?! Buzzword Bingo!! |
| 2005-09-24 8:41 PM in reply to: #252511 |
Master 1938  La Crosse | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... action item (makes me feel like GI Joe. Could be a male porn star name.) take away (makes me hungry for Chinese or maybe a curry.) deliverable (makes me hungry for pizza.) outcomes assessment (makes me want to kill people) |
| 2005-09-24 8:53 PM in reply to: #252511 |
Master 1249 Lexington, Kentucky | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... Working for IBM for 6 years pretty much inured me to corporate buzz-speak. Somebody can use "solution" as a verb and I wont even flinch. |
| 2005-09-24 8:58 PM in reply to: #252511 |
Master 1901 Central, IL | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... We need to adjust our paradigms here! |
| 2005-09-24 9:25 PM in reply to: #252950 |
Pro 4189 Pittsburgh, my heart is in Glasgow | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... Writebrained - 2005-09-24 9:58 PM We need to adjust our paradigms here! Now, see, to me this means I need to adjust my insulin pump. (the minimed paradigm). I should write my insane "Interpreting communication research" paper on this...sounds like I could have some cool ethnographic subjects. |
| 2005-09-24 9:31 PM in reply to: #252671 |
Giver 18427 | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... runnergirl28 - 2005-09-23 7:47 PM I've played bullsh*# bingo with my last boss- it was a riot! She caught on though because we weren't too sneaky. When she would say ont he of the words we would all grin at each other and make a mark on our sheets. It was fun while it lasted Heh...she really put the "roz" in "prozac." |
| 2005-09-25 3:06 AM in reply to: #252511 |
Master 1462 Michigan | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... runnergirl28 - 2005-09-23 2:14 PM Here are some of the phrases used quite frequently at my workplace during meetings, presentations, conference calls, etc. I HATE THEM and REFUSE TO REPEAT THEM! They Say: "Who's the driver of this?" I Want to Say: Drive- who's driving? I don't see a car in this conference room. They Say: "Let's take these ideas and massage it." I Want to Say: Massage??? Where?? I really need a massage. This tri trianing is making me a little sore. They Say: "That will be coming down the pipeline next." I Want to Say: What pipeline? Last time I checked we weren't were in Alaska. They Say: "Well he has a lot on his plate right now- we all do." I Want to Say: Then don't take so much food. Haven't you realized that your stomach is bigger than your eyes yet? They Say: "Put this on your radar." I Want to Say: What radar? We're not meteoroligists? (sorry for the bad spelling!) Thank God I don't work in the corporate world. |
| 2005-09-25 8:06 AM in reply to: #252605 |
Champion 7554 Albuquerque, New Mexico | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... - 2005-09-23 4:11 PM REGARDS .. REGARDS? what am I in? last century? Hey! I use regards to end most of my e-mails (even here)! The one that bothers me at work is "manage our SPEND" Regards, |
| 2005-09-26 9:51 AM in reply to: #252511 |
Giver 18427 | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... |
| 2005-09-26 9:55 AM in reply to: #253437 |
The Original 7834 Raleigh/Durham | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... run4yrlif - 2005-09-26 10:51 AM "Let's put that in the parking lot." Good idea...then I can run it over with my car. LOL- yeah, that is a new one. Not sure who came up with it. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago and they had a flip chart labeled "parking lot" and were putting ideas on it. I was so confused- at first I thought we were going to bring up our parking lot issue, since that was a hot topic. I finally figured it out, and at that point I wanted to puke! Where do they come up with this?? Why?? |
| 2005-09-26 10:26 AM in reply to: #252511 |
| Regular 178 Mound, MN | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... Wow, seems like everyone is really thinking "outside the box", now we just have to throw it at the wall and see what sticks. Good Luck, Jay |
| 2005-09-26 10:40 AM in reply to: #252511 |
The Original 7834 Raleigh/Durham | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... Just got out of a meeting. Here's a few more: "Good call out." "Things of that nature." "Let's take that offline." "From that standpoint." "Let's talk bout logsitics." |
| 2005-09-26 11:13 AM in reply to: #252511 |
Master 2052 Colorado | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... |
| 2005-09-26 11:19 AM in reply to: #253443 |
Giver 18427 | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... runnergirl28 - 2005-09-26 9:55 AM run4yrlif - 2005-09-26 10:51 AM "Let's put that in the parking lot." Good idea...then I can run it over with my car. LOL- yeah, that is a new one. Not sure who came up with it. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago and they had a flip chart labeled "parking lot" and were putting ideas on it. I was so confused- at first I thought we were going to bring up our parking lot issue, since that was a hot topic. I finally figured it out, and at that point I wanted to puke! Where do they come up with this?? Why?? Managers have a book full of that gibberish. Mine got confiscated when I got demoted... |
 2005-09-26 11:25 AM in reply to: #253536 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2005-09-26 11:54 AM in reply to: #253551 |
| Veteran 219 Manchester, Connecticut | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... Chris Tree - 2005-09-26 11:25 AM ChipmunkHeart - 2005-09-26 4:13 PM LMAO WTF Does this mean????'Long pole in the tent' Funny thing is I know what that means (the longest critical task in a project) |
| 2005-09-26 1:40 PM in reply to: #253542 |
| The Original 7834 Raleigh/Durham | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... run4yrlif - 2005-09-26 12:19 PM runnergirl28 - 2005-09-26 9:55 AM run4yrlif - 2005-09-26 10:51 AM "Let's put that in the parking lot." Good idea...then I can run it over with my car. LOL- yeah, that is a new one. Not sure who came up with it. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago and they had a flip chart labeled "parking lot" and were putting ideas on it. I was so confused- at first I thought we were going to bring up our parking lot issue, since that was a hot topic. I finally figured it out, and at that point I wanted to puke! Where do they come up with this?? Why?? Managers have a book full of that gibberish. Mine got confiscated when I got demoted... I NEVER talked like that when I was a manager. Thank goodness I asked to be in a non-manager position. I seriously didn't fit in because I REFUSED to talk like everyone else! |
| 2005-09-26 2:19 PM in reply to: #252511 |
| Veteran 282 Dallas, TX | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... I have really been having fun with this thread so I decided to "take it to another level." The past few days I have started throwing some of these sayings out at home to make my wife crazy. For instance: If my wife and I are having a conversation that takes a turn where we don't really want to continue it in front of our 2 year old I say "Let's take this off line." When my wife asked me about buying some more maternity clothes I explained "The enterprise is currently analyzing budget cut backs. Let's do a cost/benefit analysis." After receiving the electric bill I gave it to my wife and said "Let's see if there is a 6 sigma project here and try to synergize our core competencies to cool the enterprise in a way that is more positive to the bottom line." She thinks I have lost my mind. |
| 2005-09-26 3:45 PM in reply to: #252511 |
| Elite 2515 Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea | Subject: RE: Annoying Corporate Sayings at Work.... How about all the stupid "programs" that are born of corporate speak? A few of my favorites: "Employee Value Proposition" - tells you exactly what the culture WILL be and gives a lot of other BS about how we attract and retain the best talent (Human Capital, anyone?). Is the answer to retaining the best talent 2% raises?!?! "Pride In The Workplace" - tells you what you can and can't do with/to your cube. "One shouldn't have more than one or two personal items in their cube in order to maintain a neat workspace". The kicker is that there's restrictions on the window blinds. All of them must be down and ideally they should be uniformly open and closed. They enforce this one. I wish I were kidding... "Eight Strategic Levers" - I don't even want to explain this one... How about misusing and totally abusing the English language: "Lets goal to have this done by the end of the week" HUH? "I need to status with you at some point today" EH? "Who's going to quarterback this project" Do I have to wear a helmet? My absolute favorite of recent memory: "HORIZONTAL COLLABORATION" - Said ON CAMERA by the CEO of a major retailer who has just bought another major retailer in a message to all employees. I'm guessing all his rich buddies bet him $1000 that he couldn't say that on camera with a straight face. Can you imagine saying that? "Hey, Janelle. I think you and I need to improve our horizontal collaboration". I'm quite certain most would receive a slap in the face and a quick trip to HR for that one! Now, if you're all good little corporate drones, you'll put all this in your lessons learned log and create a permanent action item. Please goal to keep your blinds in the down and locked position and keep the number of pieces of flair in your cube to a minimum. Edited by Matchman 2005-09-26 3:46 PM |
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