I have a first world problem. (Page 2)

For the criteria you have listed, I totally agree with Aruba.  Plenty of direct flights from a bunch of US hubs; Dallas, Charlotte, Atlanta, etc.  85 degrees every day, but very dry. No rain and none of that nasty Jamaican humidity. And tons of all-inclusive resorts to choose from.  

The way Aruba is laid out, the east coast is kind of nasty, very rocky and rough water coming in off the Atlantic.  A good chunk of the center of the island is a desert wasteland (although there are some fun things to do like the hiking and horseback riding excursions).  But the west coast is amazing.  White sand beaches, clear blue water, the water is so calm there's practically no waves unless a boat is going by.  Because of that, there's a couple mile stretch on the west side that's just one mega-resort after another. They all have nightclubs, casinos, their own elaborate outdoor pool areas.

There's also a good (safe & clean) bus system that just loops up past all the resorts and down to the capital all day long.

I leave for Puerta Vallarta in 10 days

I did look at Aruba but the cost was literally 2x as much and I couldn't justify that. 

I have definitely taken notes for the future - thanks to everyone for their input!!