Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 20)

nerdjock - 2012-08-29 8:15 AM Oh, and last week I went on a date with a guy from match, who was "very active," supposedly and training for his first IM.  Too bad he had man boobs when I met him 

Hey that wasn't a date and I never said I was training for IM

Big Appa - 2012-08-29 8:16 AM

nerdjock - 2012-08-29 8:15 AM Oh, and last week I went on a date with a guy from match, who was "very active," supposedly and training for his first IM.  Too bad he had man boobs when I met him 

Hey that wasn't a date and I never said I was training for IM

Ahahhahahahahahahaha.  Love it, homeslice!  For the record, it wasn't Cord.  

Finally broke down and made a Match account. This thread was extremely useful in helping to navigate in Match and avoiding the ego crushing that someone (at least a guy) with no background would surely experience. Here's my thoughts in case someone might find them useful.

Overall, it has been very positive. Connected with some very interesting and attractive women - was amazed at how many great profiles there are out there. Had a couple of dates within the first week that went really well, met someone the second week and we've really hit it off and even though it is still very early, have decided to suspend the other threads we had going on Match and see where things go between us.

Where ever things go with this person, I'd say it was well worth my time, money, effort.

Drawbacks have been the fake/scam accounts that disappear after a few hours. They are easy to spot, but WTH? Are they trying to redirect Match customers to online sex chat sites or something? I don't get it.

I really don't like the multiple threads aspect of Match. Hard to be sincere when you are carrying on 5 or 6 conversations at once and with my schedule, trying to coordinate dates with more than one person is about impossible. However, you can't start out single threading, most leads are going to fizzle out, cast the net as wide as you can manage and then filter down.

Be prepared for people to be flakey and don't take it personally when it happens. You can have a great email thread going with someone, both agree you'd like to meet, be going back and forth on a time and then poof - they disappear. Kind of annoying, did they find someone else (probably), did they get turned off by the whole thing, did their aunt get sick, who knows, just move on.

Be prepared to be ignored. Attractive women with interesting profile write ups are probably already very busy on Match. It is all about timing, if you catch someone who is new on Match as well, much higher chance of getting a response. What worked well for me was to see who was looking at my profile. A low percentage of women seem to reach out, even with a wink, but they do look at profiles.

I'd say about 1 in 8 women would respond from a "cold call" email from me, so I gave that up quick. About 60% would respond if they'd looked at my profile first, 80% if they winked first and the three matches I had the best connections with were women who emailed first. The woman I am seeing now doesn't even post profile pictures or respond to incoming emails. She looks for someone she's interested in and then attaches her pictures via Outlook back through Match.

Pretty clear that she was interested when I opened her email. I'd actually set myself a limit and wasn't going to start up any more conversations and them boom - I liked her approach and writing style, opened up her picture and I decided one more thread was just fine. Ladies, I'd give this approach serious consideration, especially if you've been frustrated with creepy guys contacting you. They don't bother if there isn't a profile pick.

Finally, ladies, for Pete's sake, don't be so shy. Talking with my friends who are also on Match, we all agree that it goes much better if the woman makes the first move. Initiative is sexy.

OK I've been on match for 8 months and have no idea what you're referring to here.
Are you talking about emails? If so, why would you want to have multiple people on your "thread" at once- wouldn't that get weird for others to see how you were interacting? Or are you saying send a lot of individual emails at once instead of send one and wait for it to be answered before sending another? (I didn't know people did the "send one and wait" thing? - seems very limiting?)

And from my perspective, I disagree about not posting a profile picture. I immediately say "NO" to anyone who can't/won't post one. I don't even look at any of the other information. It sends a message that they either don't want people to know they're on Match (married?) or don't think they are attractive enough (insecure/not confident). 

I think how he is describing it for a ladies profile it makes some sense for he not to have a pic.  that way she is the one doing the looking, will cut down on a lot of mail recieved and most sincere guys will not freak out about no picture posted if you include it in the initial email..  It gives the women more control.  For a guy not to have a pic totally agree with ya,, it's needed for our profile.

Exactly Gaarryy. I actually got two emails from her in a row. One that said, "Hi, like your profile, yada yada. I don't post my pic on Match, but I'll send them in next email."

The next had the pics (she used Outlook to attach them back through Match after the first one went through the system).

It was different and stood out right off the bat. It also didn't hurt that she was freaking adorable and as it turns out smart, kind and successful, but I digress.

Yeah, a guy might as well post their favorite meth recipe if they don't have a profile pic, but I think it can be effective for a woman. One of the more promising matches I connected with was a school principal, she was very concerned about parents, teachers, students seeing her profile out there. Just because it isn't anyone else's business doesn't mean they won't try to make an issue out of it.

As for 'threads', sorry, I'm being an IT Geek. Threads being running multiple processes in parallel - in this case pursuing multiple match connections at the same time via individual email conversations, not group chatting. Don't think you can do that on Match that I saw.

Nothing wrong with it, just not something I am comfortable with personally. So I tried not to be emailing back and forth with too many matches at once and was even more selective about how many matches I was scheduling dates with at the same time.

Even as uncomfortable as I was with the parallel pursuits, I wasn't crazy enough to try one at a time. By the time that would work out for anyone, they would be driving their flying car to their first date at Old Country Buffet.  

San Diego isn't too far away from Las Vegas...

and I don't have man boobs...

OH MY GOD, I thought I was the only triathlete who has dating issues with non-active/fit/sober women. Looks like both women and men triathletes are dealing with the same problems. Yay!

I didn't go through all the pages, but I'm officially checking in on this forum.

Why don't we have a match.com version for triathletes?

By the way, does anyone live in the DC area?

You're kidding me?!

A couple no-no's with this entire situation:

1. Women never pay on first dates. That's just not acceptable.

2. You don't wear caps. Dress to impress unless you're in spandex and possibly working out, you excuse yourself by explicitly mentioning your possibly inappropriate attire.

Did he at least open the door in/out of the place you guys went to?

What happened to chivalry? It's these types of guys that put a bad name on us, well, chivalrous men! Bummer.

My last date:

Go out with a girl from Match.com. We meet arms crossed. No hugs, nothing. Go to Circa for a glass of wine with cheese pairings. She literally voraciously eats all the cheese without any notion of the platter supposed to be shared. 10 minutes in, super negative about everything. She doesn't like DC, hates the people, hates the atmosphere, etc...

To give her the benefit of the doubt, I took her to a desert spot in the area because she said that she's always wanted to try the ultimate chocolate mousse. She got WAY too drunk and at point, I hailed a cab for her, politely dropped her and we split our ways.

Kicker: When I dropped her to the cab, she said "I don't have enough money for a taxi". I walked away quietly without saying a word.

Yes he was polite enough, but I did feel a little bad about not returning any of his follow up calls/texts the next day(s). Bad etiquette on my part. But it got the point across..? I REALLY do not mind paying for my drinks, especially if we are at a pricey wine bar or something. Expecting a stranger to pick up my $30-$50 tab is a little weird to me?

I LOL'd at eating all of the cheese with no notion of sharing, hahahahaaaa!

My last first date was surprisingly good - we're meeting up for a third date tonight.

But where are you on that scale?

You should have said you like the Sean Connery's Bond the best.  Then check please.

I don't think my idea of "fun" registers on the scale.  I did sit for a while and chat with him about it, just because it's not my thing doesn't mean I'm not fascinated by it.  I asked him questions and I realized when he said "I've been into the lifestyle for 20 years"....that I'm all for a great sex-life but I draw the line when it's a "lifestyle".  NO judgements on him, just not my thing

Yep,I had one guy say "oh you're a triathlete, you people are way too intense for me"

Think quality over quantity! Although church date.....that's a sign from above

I keep getting asked on hot tub dates.  Seriously, 3 in the past week.  I think it's just a way for guys to see me in very little clothing while acting like they have innocent intentions.

I did have a very fun pre-work hot tub date with mimosas last week.  Rather insane, really.  Have never had a pre-work date before.

My new rule is to have one night to myself in between dates.  It was getting out of hand for a while.