Becoming Sober (Page 23)

TriAya - 2012-10-05 10:51 AM

SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-06 12:25 AM

cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got

 

Awesome.  I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away.  I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace...   

Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...??

Bunch of alcoholics? Nah ... they're all just thinking about themselves

This made me laugh - thanks!

I have been wanting to write something for a while.  Here is my story.

I know I need help.  I live alone, and I drink alone about every night.  I have been wanting to quit for a while, but now I know I need to stop.  Before I started drinking I didn't have any heart issues.  Now sometimes I have over 200 palpitations every day.  There are a lot of health problems I have been having lately, along with weight gain.  I have also noticed I don't like spending time with my family, and I get upset easier now - mostly about stuff that doesn't matter.

The main reason I drink is because I get lonely.  I don't have many friends where I live, so most nights I sit alone and drink/debate whether I should drink or not - which usually leads to drinking.  The last few months I don't even have that debate, I just drink.  When I drink, I am sitting alone in my apartment.  That is not a good way to meet people.

I would like to hear tips from people that have had the same type of issue as me.  How do I avoid drinking when I feel really lonely and I am craving a drink?  I really want to get better and I know I can't do it alone.

I gave my AA buddy his 25 year cake the other day. 

one day at a time

Hi Debbie,

I was in the same boat. I was drinking far too much. I also used to smoke about 10 years ago. I quit smoking using Allen Carr's Easyway To Stop Smoking book. I checked into it and he also has a book and clinics for the Easyway To Stop Drinking. The book is called that, or The Easyway To Control Alcohol. It's the same book. Anyway, I had to read it about 2-3 times but it does exactly what you're looking for. It changes your view of drinking and alcohol. I had stopped drinking for 3 years with no withdrawal ( I lie. I was grumpy for about a day and a half.) and no sleep loss. This year I lost a close family friend, my father, and I missed a promotion at work because of unfair business practices. It all became too much and I grabbed a bottle. Even though I tried to drink my sorrows away I couldn't because I just couldn't shake the lessons from the book. I stopped drinking, read the book again for reassurance, and I'm back tri training again. People around me just can't believe it's that easy, but they see me and it works. What have you got to lose? Anyway, give it a try. Best of luck. You'll be soooo happy to be rid of that awful feeling. I can't recommend it enough. It's not hocus pocus. IT REALLY WORKS... I'm living proof.

Cheers,

Danger

It's pretty simple really... you make a decision that what you are doing is not giving you the out come you want, and you go do something that does. If you don't want to be lonely, then start meeting people. If what you are doing is unhealthy, then do things that are healthy. This isn't complicated. It isn't rocket science. There are no riddles here. Do something different.

Now there are some that need some help doing that. They can't do it on their own. Well that's pretty easy too... find some people that can help you with that. No matter what your issue, there are other people that have gone through it and can help out. What has been my experience is it was all around me and all I had to do was ask.

While all that sounds great, that is not the type of person I am. If that is all it took for me, I would have done that. What it took for me was to take it to the very end of the line. The only solution left was a bullet and that was what I chose... only problem with that was I could not pull the trigger. So now what? Well I understood that the only place using was ever going to take me was that very same end of the line. Then I found other people to help me, then I changed what I was doing. No rocket science, no voodoo, no quick fixes.

The solution is always the same... stop what you are doing, change your behavior, get what ever help needed to accomplish that.... the point at which you do it is up to you. You can do it early, late, or never. The answer never changes.

You want tips... take the time to read the thread... there are hundreds in it. You already know the answer to your problem, you do not need me to tell you. In the beginning, I thought I was so unique, so different. I sought answers to my very special unique problem. Come to find out, I am just your everyday run of the mill text book drunk, and I knew the answer to my problem the whole time. What I was seeking was the softer kinder solution to make all the consequences go away so I can continue to do what I want. Get drunk. How do I get all the rewards with none of the work? Come to find out, I can't solve inside problems with outside things. And if I want the rewards, I actually have to do the work. I don't make the rules, I just have to follow them.... or not.

Hey Guys,

In all honesty, I can't recommend him enough. Either buy the book or attend one of his clinics. It really isn't another "get rich quick scheme" or voodoo. It REALLY WORKS!! I can't say it enough. If you want to stop drinking check out his web site at http://allencarr.com/. Of course if you want to go on suffering I wouldn't bother. That's the last time I'll mention it.

Cheers,

Danger

ebshot - 2012-10-21 4:12 PM Well, I'm on day 72 or so and barely made it here.  After a few really, really hard days I realized that I am indeed powerless over alcohol and I need my HP to restore me to sanity.  My way is NOT working.  At all.  So, I have made it to meetings for 3 days in a row and volunteered to be the coffee maker at my Sunday morning meeting.  My first commitment.    I am sharing more at meetings and talking with people before and after.  Just in the past 3 days the difference is amazing.  I feel like I have finally gotten out of my way and maybe now I can start on my recovery.  It's a good feeling. 

Congratulations on taking the first two steps, and putting yourself in the middle of things.... that's where all the action and growth is at  

For me, life is just -  life  -  lately.... not stellar, not bad.  I just am; and that's not a bad thing.  I'm sober and I'm doing the things I need to be doing to stay that way.  It's kinda of a consistent quiet calm.

ebshot - 2012-10-21 4:12 PM Well, I'm on day 72 or so and barely made it here.  After a few really, really hard days I realized that I am indeed powerless over alcohol and I need my HP to restore me to sanity.  My way is NOT working.  At all.  So, I have made it to meetings for 3 days in a row and volunteered to be the coffee maker at my Sunday morning meeting.  My first commitment.    I am sharing more at meetings and talking with people before and after.  Just in the past 3 days the difference is amazing.  I feel like I have finally gotten out of my way and maybe now I can start on my recovery.  It's a good feeling. 

This is a awesome. Getting involved in a group and staying active is a great step. Congrats on your 72 days and just keep it up.

300 is a nice round milestone.  Congrats.  Keep adding one day at a time.

ebshot - 2012-10-21 3:12 PM Well, I'm on day 72 or so and barely made it here.  After a few really, really hard days I realized that I am indeed powerless over alcohol and I need my HP to restore me to sanity.  My way is NOT working.  At all.  So, I have made it to meetings for 3 days in a row and volunteered to be the coffee maker at my Sunday morning meeting.  My first commitment.    I am sharing more at meetings and talking with people before and after.  Just in the past 3 days the difference is amazing.  I feel like I have finally gotten out of my way and maybe now I can start on my recovery.  It's a good feeling. 

72 days, 72 hours, doesnt matter.  All that matters is today and you dont have to drink today.  You're definitly on the right track.  

Sponsor told me "The only step you need to get right is Step 1"  Looks like youre there.

I don't know you, and I don't know your sponsor, but I do know the 12 steps. This is just bad info. It's witty and clever and all, but will not, in any way, lead to recovery.

There's an old-timer at my home group that words it as "The first step is the only step that we must work to Perfection every day".  You can probably split hairs in that all day long, but the gist of it is clear - we're human, and our task is simple.

If we were always perfect, somebody would be nailing us to a cross..... As long as we COMPLETELY work just that ONE step to perfection each day, then we've got a fighting chance at staying sober for that day.  Nobody will ever live the full 12-Steps perfectly each and every day.  It's an awesome thing to strive for, but we will ALL fall short on it at one time or another, and learning to accept that fact, as much as anything, I think, is a big part of recovery.

That's kind of what I was thinking he meant. Mighta been one of those "lost in Internet translation" things.

The BOTTOM LINE here is that ERICA HAS BEEN SOBER FOR OVER SEVENTY DAYS WHOOP WHOOP!

I feel like singing a song with "77" in it ...

I know it's rough. I guarantee it'd be rougher if you were sitting on a year's prison sentence for felony DUI, not to mention having endangered or harmed others.

It's a place any of us could be.

Your willingness is a beautiful thing to see. My first commitment was also coffee ... I only took it because I didn't know I could say no! Thank God!

  Downer, just heard my cousin augured in. A little short of making 6 months. She tells me that moderation is working for right now and is good to go as long as she avoids her beloved white wines. Tsk tsk, well it was her first attempt, so I guess she'll find out how that moderation thing will bite her in the a##! 

 Upside, nice going Erica and Jerry. Keep it up, it's worth it.

So she'll automatically fail because she doesn't do things exactly like you??

Bummer.  Sorry to hear.

Well, there are no bad examples.  Everyone is a good example - either of what to do, or not to do.

I hope she's able to get a second chance at getting it right.  It is definitely worth it.

"Tsk tsk?"
"Bite her in the a##?"

It may sound harsh, but it really is about all that can be said... though, perhaps it's a slightly 'dark humor' kinda way of saying it.

What she is going through is pretty much the process of finding all the ways that DON'T work... she still thinks that she is the one that is in control.  The "bite her in the @ss" part is simply this: it is a disease of progression.  It absolutely never gets better.  As bad as it was for her when she first decided to give getting sober a try, that is the absolute best it'll ever be for her again and it's now behind her. It's a downhill ride.