Becoming Sober (Page 24)

 Nip her on the backside?  

Life is a trip. I have an employee on my crew that was just placed on a work contract. Same one I was given over 12 years ago. The person isn't in the same place I was, but the probable outcome is not far off. Just a trip where this ride takes me. Just brought back a stroll down memory lane and where I came from.

Stats are often used. I have heard them all. 90% of those with substance abuse do not make a year. I didn't the first time. My work keeps stats... 95% of those put on this contract are terminated. I chose to resign. My employee said they were being set up for failure. The only number that I care about is that I am 100% in control of what number I want to be. I CHOOSE to be in the 10%. I stay there with the help of others and a program.

I had a very very good friend come in from out of state to celebrate her birthday. The room was packed and it was like a family reunion. My state's convention is this weekend and I am looking forward to a very needed boost.

How fortunate we are to have this way of life.

This thread is both inspiring and sobering (sorry about the pun).  I want to think that folks go to AA and everything is great but Powerman's statistics say other wise and Ebshot's experience shows how ABSOLUTELY NOT FUN  early sobriety can be.  I bet later sobriety has downer moments, days, weeks, years or even decades.

Thanks all for your courage in whatever pain you experience.  I so need people like you.

Life has those moments/days/weeks/etc - whether you are sober, drunk, alcoholic, or 'normal'.  That's just Life being Life. It's not going to stop coming at you.

The difference is in how you handle those times of adversity.  The two greatest things that you can learn (and remember) is to have gratitude for, and acceptance of, those times in your life.  That isn't to say to be grateful for the passing of a loved one, or your car getting totaled, or whatever... but perhaps in those instances choose to focus on feeling the gratitude for having had that person in your life, or that while your car is trashed, you are still alive.  Generally speaking, happiness is a choice, and it all starts with acceptance and your perspective.  

I have gone through a lot of bad moments in sobriety, including the death of a family member, in sobriety and it really sucked. It's not that you get sober and life is just great from there on out, it's that I got through those hard times sober and always new I was going to be alright beacause being sober I knew how to handle those problems and not drain them in alcohol. Can't imagine how bad those times would have been had I been drinking. Being sober I am able to handle and work through my problems, and my life is much better because of that.  

....Due to our inability to accept personal responsibility, we were actually creating our own problems...

Nobody promised me a fairy tale, only freedom from active addiction. I freely choose this way of life every day. My recovery is my responsibility. Pain is a part of life. Misery is optional.

Approaching 4 years.

Last week my wife and I mixed up our empty cups, where there was still a miniscule amount of liquid in the bottom. I accidently got a small taste of vodka in my water. I was worried about relapsing, but I is still good. I figured if I can sometimes take supplements that have alcohol in them, this little drop of booze won't cause me to fall off. Felt good to have that triumph.

Hope you are all staying strong and positive.

There's also a difference between things being worse and personally just feeling worse. Often, simply by taking away the risks or all-out fire that alcohol has presented in our lives, our circumstances are actually a lot better. But from physical/emotional/mental/social (however you want to piece it out, IMO we each are one whole person and it affects many aspects of one's life) fallout, we may certainly feel worse for some time.

There will always be ups and downs, as there is in all life, but I guarantee that the overall trend over time will be UP. I've had down periods of even a couple 2-3 years, but overall, it's gotten much, much (infinitely, immeasurably) better and continues to, as long as I daily stay sober and live the principles which keep me that way and improve my being. I've also found tremendous gems both during and as a direct result of the times I perceive were most difficult.

My dear friend Jack, who was the first person to welcome me to AA, told me this true story and metaphor. He drove a big, wood-side-panel old-school station wagon. When he was drunk, he'd take all his mail and just throw it in the back. Bills, cards, envelopes, junk mail, newsletters--he'd just toss it in the back. And it grew.

One day, he had to put the brakes on hard. That wasn't bad, but what happened is that the whole mess of mail from the back and backseat flew forward, hit him in the back of the head, and made even a bigger mess everywhere.

Jack explained getting sober as putting the brakes on. Sometimes that whole mess you've been stowing away in your trunk and hoping it'll disappear does all fly forward and smack you upside the head.

It will be, if you choose to let it be.  I can only echo what I've heard so many times before:  "It just keeps getting better".  It really, really does.  Even though I've actually been going through a down time recently, when I look back on how life was and then at how it is now - even though I've been largely depressed of late - it isn't even close.  Life is sooooo good today.  And when my mind is right and thus my perspective - it's even better.  Unbelievably so.

You're very welcome.  I'm glad that I could help in some small way.

It's how this program works... share what you've learned and what you've been taught.  There is no better medicine when you're feeling down than helping someone else - or just randomly doing something nice for someone (and telling nobody about it).

I doubt very seriously that Bill Wilson ever told anybody the only step you need to do right is the first one. Hell, I doubt he'd even recognize AA if he stopped in at an average meeting.

Depending upon where he stopped in at, I'd completely agree with that.   It's kind of rare these days to hear anyone talk about the Four Absolutes, or even having more than a cursory knowledge of the Oxford Group, etc...

Conversely, there is still everything important that he'd recognize - the spiritual side of the program, the basic tennet of helping another drunk, the Steps, the Fellowship, etc...

Everything that survives morphs with the times while having its core remain in tact.... that's all that has happened with AA.

Bill W. never told me anything yet here I am. There is a wrench for every nut. As with most stuff program related, use what works for you, leave the rest for others. What works for someone, or the decision of what they need to hear is best left to their HP.

ebshot - 2012-11-06 6:42 AM I have 90 days sober.  It's hard to believe.  I met with my sponsor last night and she asked me how I was doing.  I replied with better.  She asked why and I said because I give up.  My way doesn't work and I surrender.  She then proceeded to remind me that I have been slacking on doing XYZ and to get my rear into motion if I want to stay sober.    She is a gift from God.

That. Is. Awesome.

Surrender to Win!

ebshot - 2012-11-06 6:42 PM I have 90 days sober.  It's hard to believe.  I met with my sponsor last night and she asked me how I was doing.  I replied with better.  She asked why and I said because I give up.  My way doesn't work and I surrender.  She then proceeded to remind me that I have been slacking on doing XYZ and to get my rear into motion if I want to stay sober.    She is a gift from God.

Congratulations!

From all of us here:

Erica, it seems so funny for you to be grateful for someone that gets on your butt when you are so down.  And I love the "I give up" deal.  This is why I love AA so much; it is just so upside down and backwards which to me, seems that like the main message of most religions.

Triaya, thanks for changing your avatar.  I love your posts but can't do spiders.

As always thanks for the courage that you all have.

Well, Hallowe'en is over

You're in Bahrain! I did not know that. I have a couple good friends over there.

Just got here little over a month ago. 

My training log shows this as all I do for exercise is a bit of yoga on my tiled living room floor.

I heard a curious thing yesterday.  A man said his sobriety didn't start at he the first step, it started at the 12th step for the man before him who shook his hand and welcomed him into the first meeting he finally went to.  (He stated it much more eloquently but you get the drift)..  This happened for me too, I found a meeting where I was welcomed and I felt comfortable.  The first meeting I went to, I didn't even get out of the car.  I just sat there looking at who was coming and going..  I finally went into one and life has been better ever since..

ebshot - 2012-11-06 3:42 AM I have 90 days sober.  It's hard to believe.  I met with my sponsor last night and she asked me how I was doing.  I replied with better.  She asked why and I said because I give up.  My way doesn't work and I surrender.  She then proceeded to remind me that I have been slacking on doing XYZ and to get my rear into motion if I want to stay sober.    She is a gift from God.

Congratulations, Erica!  A lot of hard work on your part; and glad your sponsor is the care-frontational type!