TAN #195 ExTANt Reality. (Page 3)

pitt83 - 2013-02-13 11:11 AM Can anyone spare a cup of giveacrap. because, apparently, I'm all out.

volfireman07 - 2013-02-13 11:59 AM

Thanks

NRG42 - 2013-02-13 12:14 PM

Would you like that super-sized? 

trinnas - 2013-02-13 11:19 AM

Have you not been in here before?  I know I have seen you around, I mean who could miss that Avitar?

 

 

NRG42 - 2013-02-13 12:01 PM

I am not sure I am a spark kind of girl.  I think my spark goes off later than most BUT I do know when it goes off or the moment I "fall" for someone. 

lonoscurse - 2013-02-13 12:20 PM

Down girl!!  Sheesh, some guy shows up with his shirt off, and y'all get all crazy on him.

pitt83 - 2013-02-13 12:19 PM I think that would help. Or an additional shot of fireunderspankmyass would be useful.

trinnas - 2013-02-13 11:21 AM

Yes I have to get to know you a little before there is any spark.  With out that, all you are is a cardboard cutout, kind of 2 dimentional.  Even if you are hot that is just not enough.  Or in my case all verbs are in the past tense.

 

trinnas - 2013-02-13 11:21 AM

Well I have been trying to get your shirt off for a while not but you keep being resistant!

 

Ershk - 2013-02-13 12:27 PM

I think you can sense more than the cardboard cutout very quickly.

lonoscurse - 2013-02-13 12:29 PM

Trust me, I'm doing that for your own good.

NRG42 - 2013-02-13 12:44 PM What does everyone have planned for V-day or in my case Single Awareness Day?  Anyone trying to get some major pizza points or maybe it is for extra toppings??

blueyedbikergirl - 2013-02-13 11:50 AM

I'd like some assistance please TAN - I don't know what to do. 

I just got an email from my mum about my dad and the fact that apparently over the last year or so my dad has been forgetting the names of things - everyday things.  It's gotten worse over the last 6 months but my dad won't go to the doctor, probably because he's afraid of what the doc is going to tell him.  The worst part for me, is that my mum has sent this email with the express condition that we (my brother and I) are NOT respond to it or to her in any way as no one is to know that my dad is going through this.

Any ideas for sneaky ways that I can try and reach out to my mum? 

mjh1975 - 2013-02-13 11:56 AM

I would give her a call.  It may anger her momentarily, but she obviously wants to talk about it. Dont be sneaky jsut come out and ask/talk to her about it.  Its a scary thing to go through for everyone involved.  2 going on 3 people in my family have/had alzheimers

trinnas - 2013-02-13 12:22 PM

This I can do!

 

pitt83 - 2013-02-13 1:10 PM You say this on a Wednesday. There goes all hope of productivity...

blueyedbikergirl - 2013-02-13 12:50 PM

I'd like some assistance please TAN - I don't know what to do. 

I just got an email from my mum about my dad and the fact that apparently over the last year or so my dad has been forgetting the names of things - everyday things.  It's gotten worse over the last 6 months but my dad won't go to the doctor, probably because he's afraid of what the doc is going to tell him.  The worst part for me, is that my mum has sent this email with the express condition that we (my brother and I) are NOT respond to it or to her in any way as no one is to know that my dad is going through this.

Any ideas for sneaky ways that I can try and reach out to my mum? 

tech_geezer - 2013-02-13 1:35 PM

First off, memory loss is very, very common.  It happens to everyone in some degree.  At age 60, I can tell that mine is not as sharp as it once was.  I do compensate in ways I did not need to when I was younger.

Second, you are fearing the worst and most debilitating form of memory loss, Alzheimer's disease.  There are some drugs that help.  They have side effects so not everyone can take them.  Alzheimer's is hard to diagnose.  Your father was a football coach wasn't he?  Did he also play?  It may be aftereffect from that.

The main things to worry about are diet, driving, medication, and finances.  How quickly a person's diet becomes unhealthy always comes as a surprise.  You don't realize you much mental energy it takes to prepare healthy food.   You go to visit and discover that all there is in the house is peanut butter and crackers.  Driving is scary to think about.  When the world comes toward you faster than your mind can process, then you are a hazard to yourself and others.  Forgetting to take or taking medications twice happens so frequently that you have to take this problem in hand early.  Finances when someone's reasoning and normal wariness are diminished then they become vulnerable to giving money to scams and even to legitimate charities beyond their means to give.  

In the future, you may need to be concerned with helping your mother provide care.  If his condition deteriorates, at some point, it will exceed your mother's ability and will affect her health.  Sitters for the elderly or a nursing facility for residents with memory problems are becoming common.  There are typically waiting lists for good residential facilities.

I had to deal with this with my mother.  We are currently working with my wife's mother who is becoming forgetful.  I am very understanding.  Your father is very likely to resent assistance and will not try to adapt or develop compensating strategies.  The best treatment right now is very simply, writing a journal.  He should read yesterday's entry then write today's.  It could be disguised by getting him to write you an email every day about what he is doing.  It is the same thing but he is doing it for you so he may put more effort into it.  You will have to write back.  

I know it is hard, but memory loss is normal.  It happens to almost everyone sooner or later.

TW

blueyedbikergirl - 2013-02-14 2:10 AM

Thanks - I just tried to call and there was no answer at their place.  Either she really doesn't want to talk about it, or she's really not home.   Hopefully the anger would only be momentary - this is too big to worry about who knows or who doesn't! 

NRG42 - 2013-02-13 12:44 PM What does everyone have planned for V-day or in my case Single Awareness Day?  Anyone trying to get some major pizza points or maybe it is for extra toppings??

cgregg - 2013-02-13 1:47 PM

 

+1 to the bolded, but it doesn't even remotely bother me so it's almost a misnomer. It's really just another day to me and I've nothing planned except working and training.  It's a Thursday, so I'm planning a swim and a run, though I think I'll be needing to make up a run, so I'll probably do one early after a morning swim and then another one late that night.

tech_geezer - 2013-02-13 12:35 PM

First off, memory loss is very, very common.  It happens to everyone in some degree.  At age 60, I can tell that mine is not as sharp as it once was.  I do compensate in ways I did not need to when I was younger.

Second, you are fearing the worst and most debilitating form of memory loss, Alzheimer's disease.  There are some drugs that help.  They have side effects so not everyone can take them.  Alzheimer's is hard to diagnose.  Your father was a football coach wasn't he?  Did he also play?  It may be aftereffect from that.

The main things to worry about are diet, driving, medication, and finances.  How quickly a person's diet becomes unhealthy always comes as a surprise.  You don't realize you much mental energy it takes to prepare healthy food.   You go to visit and discover that all there is in the house is peanut butter and crackers.  Driving is scary to think about.  When the world comes toward you faster than your mind can process, then you are a hazard to yourself and others.  Forgetting to take or taking medications twice happens so frequently that you have to take this problem in hand early.  Finances when someone's reasoning and normal wariness are diminished then they become vulnerable to giving money to scams and even to legitimate charities beyond their means to give.  

In the future, you may need to be concerned with helping your mother provide care.  If his condition deteriorates, at some point, it will exceed your mother's ability and will affect her health.  Sitters for the elderly or a nursing facility for residents with memory problems are becoming common.  There are typically waiting lists for good residential facilities.

I had to deal with this with my mother.  We are currently working with my wife's mother who is becoming forgetful.  I am very understanding.  Your father is very likely to resent assistance and will not try to adapt or develop compensating strategies.  The best treatment right now is very simply, writing a journal.  He should read yesterday's entry then write today's.  It could be disguised by getting him to write you an email every day about what he is doing.  It is the same thing but he is doing it for you so he may put more effort into it.  You will have to write back.  

I know it is hard, but memory loss is normal.  It happens to almost everyone sooner or later.

TW