Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 33)

Teejaay - 2013-01-16 3:57 PM

Muskrat37 - 2013-01-16 2:08 PM

DeVinci13 - 2013-01-16 12:28 PM

I "came" upon this thread a bit late. But I will throw my name in the hat.

I am from the Great White North, so I know my pickings will be slim. 44 years old. 5'6", 130lbs. I inherited the MPB gene so I just keep it shaved. Divorced 3 years, no kids. Never had a cavity and still have all my teeth. Training for Ironman Wisconsin. Typical day is up at 5:15am, exercise, then go to work, come home and train some more, then go to bed at 9:00pm. I guess I know why I am still single. When not training I like to play the guitar.

Might want to post a pic on your profile.  

...for the ladies.

THIS^^^^^ made me LOL

Sounds eerily familiar...she doesn't happen to be a nurse and live in NY does she?!? 

I guess I am willing to start playing in this Thread now. I separated with my wife in August after growing apart the last several years we lived like room mates than husband and wife. Anyways I kind of went on a few dates with a friend. But I am new to this after being off the dating scene for so long.

My town is small and closed minded. I think a few people have been flirting with me but I my friend tells me I am a dumb boy and can't even tell most of the time. I think I am going to look out of town for a more career oriented and more driven person to spend time with.

Anyways I know I am a flirt. I tend to think it is just me being nice, outgoing and talkative. But I am told that means I am a flirt.

What can I say. I am an Engineer, 38 years old, I love scuba diving, Triathlon, doing running clinics and helping other people make lifestyle changes. I am recovering from my Knee surgery with a Meniscus removal and I live in Ontario Canada.  I am going to Florida in May for some Cave diving and I can't wait for summer to get here so I can ride my bike outside instead of a darn indoor trainer.

I am currently going though our local YMCA to become a certified personal and group fitness trainer as well.

and some of you know me already from the debauchery that takes place in TAN.

LOL - Nope.   

So I ran into Ashley today at one of my stops. (I drive a wine truck - she drives the Coke truck)..  

We have been texting the last couple days, and today, she was waaaaaay more flirty with me than the last couple of times that I have seen her at one of our mutual stops.  I can't wait until Monday night.  Super excited to take her out, and since I have only seen her in her work clothes (a uniform that doesn't fit well), I can't wait to see how she dresses in real life. 

Also realized today - she is a lot better looking than Jade was.    

Ashleys can be a lot of fun.  

Very nice.. !

Wine truck and a Coke Truck

Wow there is a real hard debate for me. Each one serves a very special purpose in my heart.

I love me a diet coke after a long bike ride.

Teeth and decent hygiene?  Damn you're picky!

Teejaay - 2013-01-18 10:05 AM

volfireman07 - 2013-01-18 5:38 AM

Teejaay - 2013-01-17 12:16 PM

DeannaS - 2013-01-17 4:44 AM

imsmith8 - 2013-01-16 9:06 PM

Alright so I saw this article and I had to stumble over here and see what all of my fellow singles thought about this???

http://motherboard.vice.com/blog/how-shady-is-okcupids-new-blind-dating-app

Personally, I think it's bad enough getting the surprise from someone who looks nothing like their pictures or what they've said about themselves, let alone going in blind.     >_<

On the one hand, it's no more creepy than striking up a conversation with the guy sitting at the next table over at the local coffee shop. On the other hand, if (like the article author) the guy assumes it's meet for s e x, well, then that's creepola. I think it would be possible to carefully tailor your "available free time" and "places you like to hang out" to make it fairly safe. There's a big difference between being free from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. at the library, coffee shop, or taco joint and being free from 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. at the bar, nightclub, or pool hall.

At least you can SEE if the guy at the coffee shop has teeth (yeah, I have a teeth thing) ... and whether they look like they bathe and whether or not you find something about them appealing. LOL.  I can't think of anything more creepier (or desperate) than meeting up with someone in that way.  It's very "Craigslist"  ... I shall pass. 

Teeth and decent hygiene?  Damn you're picky!

Clearly you can see why you can see I am still single. I set the bar pretty high!

Nothing wrong with that. I have been asked out twice in the last week and said no. I am being told I am too picky. hmmmm Single guy in my 30's with no kids, my own house a dog and a career.

I get to be picky don't ?

Well, posted some photos.

In 2012 I did 5 olympic distance tris, 1 half ironman, 3 half marathons, a couple mtb races, a 40km and 60km mtb race and I played Ultimate twice a week and I have no photos of me for the entire year. I guess when you go to all these events by yourself you don't have much opportunity to take photos of yourself. The mustache photo is from Movember, not one of my better moments. The cycling photos are from 2008 when I cycled across Canada self supported.

Don't laugh too hard.

Dwayne

How did I not find this thread until the week after I enter an "exclusivity agreement?"

Lisa - If I see that a girl has that she is looking to relocate asap on her profile, I'm just clicking through to the next one.  If I were just looking to score, that'd be fine, but that's not the case.  (although when that was the case, I thought I found the perfect "temp" with a German girl who had to go back home in 2 months. Two weeks later she extended her contract so she could stay another year without consulting me.  Bad move.)

I digress.  I'd have no problem if that came up on a date (and it should, early), I'd just be cautious about how attached I let myself get.  But like I said, if it were on the profile, I wouldn't make contact.

I have always found it funny how people ask for advice on forums, but I am going to ask anyway. You all have no vested interest in me, or don't even know me for that matter. But, here goes.

I bit of background. I was dating/married to a wonderful woman for close to 19 years before we divorced. There was a crack cocaine addiction on her part. We tried 3 times to unsuccessfully get re-hab to work. On the third time she was in a residential 30 day treatment centre. It was here she met another woman and after leaving re-hab moved in with her and eventually lived with her for over a year. During this 2+ year period I was trying to manage my job, our house, our everything else commitments, but it just wasn't working. We finally divorced and it was a huge personal (self-esteem) and finacial hit. Here I was at 41 starting over from basically stratch. We have been divorced now for over 3 years now and I finally feel like I am in the right mindset to begin dating again.

My questions are how do you go about dating again? I know it is a funny question. But, the last time I was dating I was 21. Back then you met people at University or through your circle of friends. Now I am working full-time, all my co-workers are married with kids, all my friends are married with or without kids. I am now the third wheel in every situation. All the people in my masters swim class are married, all the people in my triathlon club are married, all the people on my Ultimate teams are married. Even if I was attracted to someone at a tri event, or mtb event or marathon, I am not going to go up to them and just say "hey, want to go for a cup of gatorade after the race"? It maybe a self esteem issue but I have this fear of rejection, I can barely talk to a woman let alone ask them out on a date. When you get dumped for another woman, there probably isn't much greater kick to the manhood than that.

I have made a few profiles on the usual dating sites. This is where I am going to be brutally honest. I may not be the prefect guy but I know what I would like at the minimum in a woman. I take great pains in taking of myself and I hope that my date would as well. But the majority of my matches so far, their definition of exercise is walking the dog 10 minutes a day. I have emailed some woman, sent the usual winks and all that nonsense but no one replies. "They" say do something you enjoy and you will meet people with the same interests. Well, I run, I swim, I bike, I play Ultimate, I go to hockey games (GO JETS GO), I x-country ski, I mtb race and no luck. So, any suggestions? Any ideas?

Dwayne

My 2 cents: if you want to meet people you have to make an effort. If you're not willing to ask someone out at a place where you automatically have similar built-in interests, where/when will you?

If your self-esteem issues are big enough that they're impeding your happiness and future, it might be worth looking into therapy of some sort.

As for online dating sites, you really just have to weed through the profiles and be patient. It's just like in real life - not everyone you come across is going to be a good fit. In fact, most aren't. 

This made me laugh... not at you, but with you.  I was in a very similar situation (the starting over @ 40 part).  

As for your wife leaving you for a woman - I don't think that's a hit to your manhood.  To me, it's exactly opposite.  If she is attracted to lady parts, not much you can do about that.    

As for the online dating sites.  Way back when in this thread, there were several pages of me griping about those sites.  They are crap.  My recommendation is to not pay for any of them.  I say muck fatch.com.

You will email 100 ladies and you are lucky if you get responses from 1.  Then, you are even luckier if that makes it to a date.  And then you are even luckier if she is not 30 lbs heavier than any of her pics, or if she looks totally different than her profile pictures.  

Match.com advertises all the time that "1 in 5 relationships now start online."  Well - that means 4 out of 5 do not.  

The only sites that are even remotely worth any time is OKCupid and Plenty of Fish.  Why?  Because they are free!  

Meeting women the old fashioned way has worked way better for me.  My advice - just ask.  You don't have to be Rico Suave - at my last race, I talked to a girl that finished about 1 min behind me..after a few minutes I said - "we should go for a run sometime"..she said sure, I got her number and we went on a date.

I will say this - don't let the lack of responses get to you.  From what I can tell, most women get bombarded by emails on those sites...many of which are from creepy dudes.  

That's my 2 cents...

We've been round on this before and I know your mind is MADE UP! But MY experience is the opposite. You get what you pay for and people are not nearly as "serious" on the free sites.

Yeah I had similar experiences with online dating. A lot of hit or miss. When I first did it I was really discouraged in the lack of responses I was getting. When I did end up getting a date out of it, I had a lot of conversations like this:

me: I have to get going, I am getting up early to go for a bike ride.

her: where are you going?

me: out to Afton State Park and back.

her: (puzzled look) That is like 25 miles away. What are you going to do when you get out there?

me: Probably get some water, go to the bathroom, and come home.

her: (even more puzzled look) Have fun with that.

me: Thanks. I will.

Not sure how that's different than 'real world' dating..?

This made me laugh. 

I suspect our experiences are "opposite" because you are the pretty lady that get's bombarded by emails and you have your pick of the litter.  

My point was that I've had way more successful experiences on a "pay" site than the free ones. I've sent my share of unanswered winks and emails - but instead of taking my ball and going home I just moved on!

Most real world dating I have done was with girls I met running or biking so they were probably doing the same thing.

Good advice so far, keep it coming. Thanks DeannaS, that is a great response.

As a woman, I thought the last thing you would want after running a marathon or finishing up a tri is some guying trying to hit on you. I have also noticed that most women when doing sports (especially mtb biking races) they remove most jewellery so I can't judge the marriage status. I asked at one race and she said she was married. But, if that is the worse that happens I guess that isn't too bad. But, I live in a smaller city and you see the same women at most of the events, so I don't want to get the reputation of some leering old man on the prowl at events.

I have been trying fitness-singles.com. From what I have seen so far, at least the woman are very active and seem to be a bit more honest about their exercise levels, and the photos reflect that.

I don't have kids, and don't want to have kids. I don't want or need to get married again, I don't need any financial support. I am just looking for someone to spend time with. I have spent a lot of time travelling these last couple of years and I literally have thousands of pictures of scenery, castles, places, stuff, but none with me in them. I am finding that I miss the companionship, the basic talking with another person. The simple "how was your day" type of stuff. I have a great quote from Mens Health of all places that sums it up perfectly.

"The bottom line is that both women and men are stronger when they have a safe, loving relationship to turn to. If you want to go out into the world, having someone watching your back and taking care of you at home-there's nothing better than that"

That pretty much sums it up for me.