Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 36)

lisac957 - 2013-01-25 11:06 AM

Yeah that was a low blow, but apparently winky faces make everything okay!

jlruhnke - 2013-01-25 10:19 AM

 

That is a solid list.

mr2tony - 2013-01-26 2:23 PMSheesh you single people sure do whine a lot. I'm married, which of course means I have it all figured out. So I'm here to help you all, even those older than me, and let you know why all of these reasons are invalid. 1. Please don’t tell us that as soon as we become “content” being single, we’ll meet “the one.” What people really mean is `You've been single so long that you've become desperate, and women can smell desperation like dogs and bees can smell fear.' 2. Please don’t stop inviting us just because we’re single. We get it. You’re “married” now or whatever. But you’re still you. And we still want to be friends. Fifth wheel. Ninth wheel. 301st wheel. Whatever. We’re used to it. Just invite us to come.It's not because you're single, it's that you stare at my wife's chest, creeper. 3. Please don’t tell us how “easy” we have it being single. There might be some truth to that statement, but you know what? We get this a lot. And don’t forget that when life gets rough you have someone to share the load with you. Remember to be grateful for that.Yeah but you don't have someone to share the bathroom with, so when you want to Text Zilla you can do it without worrying that the person with whom you share said bathroom isn't going to need to brush his/her teeth in the next three hours, or however long the stank lingers. 4. Please don’t act like, since you’re married, you have it all figured out. Along with a marriage certificate, we get a brain from the Wizard when you go to the courthouse. If you didn't know that, you're obviously not married. 5. Please don’t assume that we’ll sleep on the couch. It’s Christmas or Thanksgiving and there are a dozen people staying at the same house, and yeah, we get it. You need the bed more than we do (go ahead and rub it in). If you ask us, we’ll let you have it. But don’t just assume. It’s humiliating.OK so you get the bed and Uncle Joe and Aunt Annie get the couch. Umm ... 6. Please don’t stop accepting our invites (and be willing to come alone). I mean, we don’t expect you to have a girls’ night every night. Your Friday night plans with your spouse are likely more fun. But just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t do anything without your wife/husband… right?It's like the gym right after New Year's. Give it two months after the wedding and it'll stop happening. 7. Please don’t set us up on dates without asking. I mean, set us up. We need you for that. But don’t do it without asking. Without veto power you’re setting us (both) up for a really awkward and unnecessary rejection.Don't get mad at us that not only could you NOT close the deal but she kicked you out AFTER you got naked.8. Please don’t lie to us about what it is like to be married. Don’t be all like, “Marriage is peaches and cream” when you’ve spent all week fighting with your husband, and don’t say, “Oh, marriage isn’t really that cool anyway… you’re not really missing anything.” We need the inside scoop and you’re the one who can give it to us – the good, the bad and the ugly.Well some days it is peaches n cream and other days it's not that cool. What do you want, a minute-by-minute report? `So after dinner I dropped a giant dookie. Then we had sex shortly thereafter. I was conflicted, but we're married, so it was OK. The good news is we had sex. The bad news it was right after a deuce. The ugly news is that we were out of toilet paper.'9. Please don’t tell us that if only we did/said/wore/ [fill-in-the-blank] then we’d be sure to find a husband. You’re over-simplifying and you’re asking us to be someone we’re not. More often than not, we’ll probably do the thing you told us to do and end up attracting someone who doesn’t fit with us at all.If you got implants and put out more, you'd definitely find a husband. What are you laughing at? If you shave the chin-pubes and stopped wearing Laker jerseys to the club you might have a better chance of finding a woman. 10. Please don’t tell us that we must have something else that “God wants to teach us” before we can get married. Marriage is not the prize you earn when you learn everything God has to teach you. I’m sure God has more that he wants to teach me. And he probably has some things he still wants to teach you, too.I'm an atheist. Go away Bible thumper!!! 11. Please don’t ask us why we are still single. Like we have an answer to that question. And if we did, we’d probably be working through whatever it was, so we could join the ranks of married folks like you.Oh, trust us, we know why you're still single. We talk about it a lot when you're not around. And laugh. 12. Please don’t make it your life’s mission to find us a wife or husband. I mean, we get it. You want us to be happy – blah, blah, blah. But make sure you let us know you love us just as we are, even without a wife or a husband.Hey! We just want you to be as miserable as the rest of us. Stop being so selfish! 13. Please don’t act like the single life is some sort of JV team. Especially when you’re ten years younger than we are. Share your advice, but listen to ours. Don’t make life all about marital status, because it isn’t. We have wisdom and perspective to offer too. It’s just different wisdom than yours.Yeah I don't know if I'd call `I wore nice underwear in case I meet someone tonight.' wisdom. Remember, we're married, the type of underwear you have on doesn't correlate with your ability to get laid. 14. Please don’t respond to our break-up by telling us, “He wasn’t worth it anyway…” We know what you mean but it makes it sound like we just flushed a good chunk of our lives down the toilet. Relationships are never a waste, as long as we learn from them.Guys don't say BS like this. In fact, it's usually `Dude you were lucky she went out with you in the first place. The fact that you got to see her naked should be put on your resume.'15. Please don’t give us advice like, “No man is worth your tears and the only man who is won’t ever make you cry…” You sound like a Hallmark card and plus, it makes it sound like the pain of relationships stops after marriage. And you’re married, for heaven’s sake. You should know better!IF this were true, a gazillion women wouldn't have had to buy new drawls after reading `50 Shades of Grey'.DISCLAIMER: This is meant for entertainment purposes only. I laughed at myself while writing it, you should laugh at me too. If I offended anybody, especially about that crack on needing new drawls after reading that awful book, then stop taking things so seriously! This is one of the reasons you're single.

mr2tony - 2013-01-26 2:23 PM



Sheesh you single people sure do whine a lot. I'm married, which of course means I have it all figured out. So I'm here to help you all, even those older than me, and let you know why all of these reasons are invalid.

1. Please don’t tell us that as soon as we become “content” being single, we’ll meet “the one.”

What people really mean is `You've been single so long that you've become desperate, and women can smell desperation like dogs and bees can smell fear.'

2. Please don’t stop inviting us just because we’re single. We get it. You’re “married” now or whatever. But you’re still you. And we still want to be friends. Fifth wheel. Ninth wheel. 301st wheel. Whatever. We’re used to it. Just invite us to come.

It's not because you're single, it's that you stare at my wife's chest, creeper.

3. Please don’t tell us how “easy” we have it being single. There might be some truth to that statement, but you know what? We get this a lot. And don’t forget that when life gets rough you have someone to share the load with you. Remember to be grateful for that.

Yeah but you don't have someone to share the bathroom with, so when you want to Text Zilla you can do it without worrying that the person with whom you share said bathroom isn't going to need to brush his/her teeth in the next three hours, or however long the stank lingers.

4. Please don’t act like, since you’re married, you have it all figured out.

Along with a marriage certificate, we get a brain from the Wizard when you go to the courthouse. If you didn't know that, you're obviously not married.

5. Please don’t assume that we’ll sleep on the couch. It’s Christmas or Thanksgiving and there are a dozen people staying at the same house, and yeah, we get it. You need the bed more than we do (go ahead and rub it in). If you ask us, we’ll let you have it. But don’t just assume. It’s humiliating.

OK so you get the bed and Uncle Joe and Aunt Annie get the couch. Umm ...

6. Please don’t stop accepting our invites (and be willing to come alone). I mean, we don’t expect you to have a girls’ night every night. Your Friday night plans with your spouse are likely more fun. But just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t do anything without your wife/husband… right?

It's like the gym right after New Year's. Give it two months after the wedding and it'll stop happening.

7. Please don’t set us up on dates without asking. I mean, set us up. We need you for that. But don’t do it without asking. Without veto power you’re setting us (both) up for a really awkward and unnecessary rejection.

Don't get mad at us that not only could you NOT close the deal but she kicked you out AFTER you got naked.

8. Please don’t lie to us about what it is like to be married. Don’t be all like, “Marriage is peaches and cream” when you’ve spent all week fighting with your husband, and don’t say, “Oh, marriage isn’t really that cool anyway… you’re not really missing anything.” We need the inside scoop and you’re the one who can give it to us – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Well some days it is peaches n cream and other days it's not that cool. What do you want, a minute-by-minute report? `So after dinner I dropped a giant dookie. Then we had sex shortly thereafter. I was conflicted, but we're married, so it was OK. The good news is we had sex. The bad news it was right after a deuce. The ugly news is that we were out of toilet paper.'

9. Please don’t tell us that if only we did/said/wore/ [fill-in-the-blank] then we’d be sure to find a husband. You’re over-simplifying and you’re asking us to be someone we’re not. More often than not, we’ll probably do the thing you told us to do and end up attracting someone who doesn’t fit with us at all.

If you got implants and put out more, you'd definitely find a husband. What are you laughing at? If you shave the chin-pubes and stopped wearing Laker jerseys to the club you might have a better chance of finding a woman.

10. Please don’t tell us that we must have something else that “God wants to teach us” before we can get married. Marriage is not the prize you earn when you learn everything God has to teach you. I’m sure God has more that he wants to teach me. And he probably has some things he still wants to teach you, too.

I'm an atheist. Go away Bible thumper!!!

11. Please don’t ask us why we are still single. Like we have an answer to that question. And if we did, we’d probably be working through whatever it was, so we could join the ranks of married folks like you.

Oh, trust us, we know why you're still single. We talk about it a lot when you're not around. And laugh.

12. Please don’t make it your life’s mission to find us a wife or husband. I mean, we get it. You want us to be happy – blah, blah, blah. But make sure you let us know you love us just as we are, even without a wife or a husband.

Hey! We just want you to be as miserable as the rest of us. Stop being so selfish!

13. Please don’t act like the single life is some sort of JV team. Especially when you’re ten years younger than we are. Share your advice, but listen to ours. Don’t make life all about marital status, because it isn’t. We have wisdom and perspective to offer too. It’s just different wisdom than yours.

Yeah I don't know if I'd call `I wore nice underwear in case I meet someone tonight.' wisdom. Remember, we're married, the type of underwear you have on doesn't correlate with your ability to get laid.

14. Please don’t respond to our break-up by telling us, “He wasn’t worth it anyway…” We know what you mean but it makes it sound like we just flushed a good chunk of our lives down the toilet. Relationships are never a waste, as long as we learn from them.

Guys don't say BS like this. In fact, it's usually `Dude you were lucky she went out with you in the first place. The fact that you got to see her naked should be put on your resume.'

15. Please don’t give us advice like, “No man is worth your tears and the only man who is won’t ever make you cry…” You sound like a Hallmark card and plus, it makes it sound like the pain of relationships stops after marriage. And you’re married, for heaven’s sake. You should know better!

IF this were true, a gazillion women wouldn't have had to buy new drawls after reading `50 Shades of Grey'.

DISCLAIMER: This is meant for entertainment purposes only. I laughed at myself while writing it, you should laugh at me too. If I offended anybody, especially about that crack on needing new drawls after reading that awful book, then stop taking things so seriously! This is one of the reasons you're single.

pitt83 - 2013-01-26 1:59 PM
#9 seems a bit pointed in the direction of someone we all know. Just making an observation.

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-27 8:21 PM

Nice Tony!

And a poll for the Forum:

Is there some probationary period during new relationship where you can break up with a girl on her birthday and not be a giant ?  (Especially if you sense that it won't be taken too hard?)

If not, how long after the birthday should it wait?

Teejaay - 2013-01-27 10:11 PM

I was asked for a divorce on my birthday ... 

Speaking as someone that has felt the sting of being dumped on, before and after her birthday .. if you want to be done .. be done.  You aren't doing her, or yourself, any favors by waiting.  Give her the gift of your honesty and integrity .. she may be mad, sad, angry and want to punch you in the throat but later she will appreciate that you respected her enough to be honest.  We ladies can handle the truth .. it's the lies that make us mad.

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-27 10:21 PM

Nice Tony!

And a poll for the Forum:

Is there some probationary period during new relationship where you can break up with a girl on her birthday and not be a giant ?  (Especially if you sense that it won't be taken too hard?)

If not, how long after the birthday should it wait?

DeannaS - 2013-01-28 6:57 AM If you have time to ask this question, I presume it's not her birthday yet. So, break up. Now.

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-28 6:33 AM

I'm afraid it is her Birthday now...  Really, we need a talk to clear some things up. (not something I like to do over the phone and today will be my first chance to see her in person) Things are just not what I'm used to, and a talk might clear things and everything might be OK, or it might be best to split before actual hatred and hard feelings set in.

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-28 6:33 AM

I'm afraid it is her Birthday now...  Really, we need a talk to clear some things up. (not something I like to do over the phone and today will be my first chance to see her in person) Things are just not what I'm used to, and a talk might clear things and everything might be OK, or it might be best to split before actual hatred and hard feelings set in.

KSH - 2013-01-28 7:44 AM


Don't you think it can wait? I mean really, what's ONE MORE DAY... it's her birthday! Be kind and give her one day (her birthday), then talk the next day. I'm all about being honest, up front, and talking things out... but dang... on her birthday?

KSH - 2013-01-28 7:44 AM Don't you think it can wait? I mean really, what's ONE MORE DAY... it's her birthday! Be kind and give her one day (her birthday), then talk the next day. I'm all about being honest, up front, and talking things out... but dang... on her birthday?

turtlegirl - 2013-01-28 7:35 AM how long have you dated? is she expecting a present?

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-28 10:15 AM

Hmm.  Pretty split.  She probably expects and will get a small gift.  We've dated for a couple months, but called didn't call it dating.  Only two weeks ago did we use the "date" word, and decided to make it exclusive at the same time.  She was all excited to not share me...then something changed just a few days after that...not sure what, but I hear from her less now than ever before. It may really be that she has second thoughts, which is why I say she may not take it that hard.  Or maybe she's been really busy with work and moving...but I'm not used to such a lack of effort to communicate.  (my problem has always been girls giving me zero breathing room after two dates)  I'd be happy to date her if she wants to have a relationship, but it seems less like dating now than before we had the excusivity talk.

Zero2Athlete - 2013-01-28 10:15 AM Hmm.  Pretty split.  She probably expects and will get a small gift.  We've dated for a couple months, but called didn't call it dating.  Only two weeks ago did we use the "date" word, and decided to make it exclusive at the same time.  She was all excited to not share me...then something changed just a few days after that...not sure what, but I hear from her less now than ever before. It may really be that she has second thoughts, which is why I say she may not take it that hard.  Or maybe she's been really busy with work and moving...but I'm not used to such a lack of effort to communicate.  (my problem has always been girls giving me zero breathing room after two dates)  I'd be happy to date her if she wants to have a relationship, but it seems less like dating now than before we had the excusivity talk.

DeannaS - 2013-01-28 10:27 AM So, she's in the process of moving? And you decided to be exclusive 2 weeks ago? And, you're worried about less communication over a 2 week period? Hm.... Sounds to me like she is thinking, "okay, I checked off the big talk with the guy. We're good. Now, I have this big moving thing to deal with. So, I'm focusing on that." In other words, give her the benefit of the doubt here. Major changes = major stress.