Kids calling teachers by their first names (Page 4)

It's not a problem for us, only for you. Our children address adults by their last name.  You don't have to like it or be around them.

Just to keep it interesting.

It took a long time and "tons" of money to change from Mr. to Dr.. Every parent/teacher conference that I have gone to over the years (unless we already knew each other), I have been addressed by my first name alone, which I actually prefer, while they introduce themselves with a prefix and last name as if I was a .., or didn't deserve a....,well never mind.

Yeah, whatever, I think we all need to get over ourselves. Life is too short and being a jerk is just counter productive   

But you're a dentist.  Right?

In my experience its about maintaining a professional relationship. Yes it may be trivial but I believe it is vital to maintain the appropriate relationship between a student and an educator. I've had alot of kids want to call me alot of different things. I coach multiple sports and alot of my athletes want to call me big homie, its a term of endearment kind of like a big brother relationship type of thing but its counter productive to the teacher student relationship. A few years ago alot of kids started calling me k-rob, catchy, I liked it but had to ask that they call me by my last name. 

I'm not rude about it, I simply ask them and they comply but will occassionally slip in a big homie or k-rob every once in a while. 

The main message behind it is that I'm here to be your teacher/coach first and foremost, not an acquaintance, friend or mentor. I've made alot of friends through teaching and have had the oppertunity to mentor alot of kids but thats was able to happen through an appropriate relationship built with the right level of respect.

Exactly - teaching them to use the honourific even when specifically asked not to implies only respect for the parent's wishes - not for the person with whom they are interacting. 

And when they are adults themselves ... it just seems odd that they still must live by a set of rules from childhoon instead of those that govern their own environment and current circumstance.  I've mentioned it numerous times. At my workplace, although quite hierarchical, it is common practice to address one another by first name and it would be very strange to do otherwise.  That's the way it is. 

As a parent raising MY child, my wishes are more important than yours when it comes to MY child.  You can, of course, teach your children anything you like. Mine will address adults by their last name. 

The funny thing is, it's NEVER been an issue anywhere but on this board.  You folks are a hoot.

No sh*t

That's the other good part about this board.....if you don't agree with the majority, or party line, you are a troll. I love it!  I suppose I'll just troll on.

Still, my kids will address adults by their last name, and my wife and I will continue to parent our children as we see fit, regardless of what others may or may not think.  Like I've already said, I suspect this is a "board" problem since we've never ran across this issue in real life.

Incorrect it is not how we disagree it is how you continue to keep disagreeing and keep telling people they are wrong instead of just letting it go or letting your last point stand on it's own. That is the difference between a troll and a discussion.

I haven't told a single person they were wrong.  In fact, I've been told I was wrong on numerous posts....and that's fine.  My posts have beehn responses to others.....that is what makes a discussion.  You know, like you and I are doing now.....I responded and now we are discussing....or maybe you're/we're trolling? 

It's probably more of the way you are coming across, than it is the actuality of the situation.

That being said, some logistical questions popped into my head as I was reading your explanations.

How would your children address, say, Cher or Madonna? Do you instruct them to call them Ms. Sarkisian or Ms. Ciccone?

Do you raise your children that it's okay to disobey any rules and guidelines others may have in place in their domiciles/workplaces/spaces etc. if they are different than your own set of "polite behavior"? What about in other countries/cultures?

At what point does this "wear off"? When do you stop calling people that? Do you address all your elders that way? If you meet an older/higher ranking person in your company or some such,  "Hello, Mr. Robbins. I'm Mr. LeftBrain." and he says "Hi, Mr. LeftBrain...please, call me Dan." Do you call him Dan, or do you insist on calling him Mr. Robbins?

I can certainly understand the idea that treating elders with respect and using the honorific is appropriate--I do it myself. That being said, I think the important thing to stress isn't "always calling people what we think they should be called," but rather, using the formal address for an elder--until directed otherwise. Couldn't it be a case of, "Mr. Smith doesn't go by Mr. Smith, he likes to be called Ted. Sort of like how Michael at camp goes by Mikey. So when you speak to him in his environment, you should respect his wishes. But when we talk ABOUT Mr. Smith at home, he is Mr. Smith, b/c that is how we address elders in our own culture."

What I have found is that it's almost never a matter of "different rules" as much as it is "no rules" and, in those cases, we just keep our kids clear of it.

As for your other questions, my children address adults by their last name....period. (uh....sorry for the troll??)  

As I've said, it's NEVER been an issue...in fact, quite the contrary as our kids are complimented frequently regarding how polite they are.  It's not hard to teach a child to be polite, but it takes consistency on the parents part and discipline on the child's part.  I'm fine with you raising your children however you want, we've been pretty successful raising our  our kids by having certain rules in place.  This is one of them.  If it offends, you (the collective you) can keep clear of our kids if you like....no problem.

You are not in control.

LOL - I don't even know what that means. 

Just for laughs, at breakfast this morning, I asked my kids if any adult had ever asked them to not call them by their last name.....all three said no, it had never happened.  Then I asked them how they would feel about it if an adult asked them to call them by their first name....one of my daughetrs says, "you mean like a coach or something?"....I said, "yeah"....she says, "ew, that'd be creepy".

It IS creepy. 

Those are the kinds of conversations you have for laughs?

this thread has alot of different contexts and side avenues but in the instance of kids addressing teachers:

I believe they must refer to them as mr. coach, mrs. miss. Its not as much for the person as it is for the position. Seen alot of people who didnt deserve the respect much like police being refered to as officer or deputy, judges as judge and so fourth. If I'm running a school I dont care if you dont like the title of mr. or mrs. the kids will refer to you as that out of respect for the position that you hold.

Sure, my kids crack me up. 

We've already had the conversations you're talking about, which is why we don't have to have them now.

You better hope that's private school, otherwise you'll probably violate someone's civil rights or something.