Dating a triathlete... (Page 4)

See my problem with being a triathlete is finding someone that I like enough to be willing to make the sacrifices for. Most of the guys I've dated are either athletes themselves or are supportive/respectful/interested enough in what I do to allow me to train, recover, and race as I would (although none of those have lasted long at all, so who knows how it would have been over time). My problem is that with every guy I meet, I'm just like, "Eh, I'm not willing to give up what little free time I have in the evening to spend talking on the phone to this guy." Or, "I really don't want to commit to making plans with this person on Saturday afternoon/evening, because if I get in from my long brick and am tired, I know I'll rather just stay in." I mean, it can't ALWAYS be the other person making the sacrifices for US - relationships are give and take - but I just haven't met anyone I am willing to make sacrifices for. Well, I met one person in the recent past, but he apparently didn't feel the same way about me .

But, I guess I could give some guys more of a chance. Usually, it doesn't even make it to a first date, because after a phone conversation or two or three, I feel that I should be at least equally excited to spend Friday evening going out to dinner with this guy as I am about my brick on Saturday morning. The excitement about my Saturday AM brick is so much greater, so I just say, "Forget it." LOL. It's not that I am picky or that guys are lined up on my doorstep or anything, but triathlon just holds a huge place in my heart and I haven't been able to find it in me to make room for anyone/thing else.  My friends and family think there's something wrong with me for not going out all the time and trying to meet someone. But to them I say, "I spend several hours a day doing something I love and that makes me extremely happy; I don't need to go out every weekend and try to find a person to make me happy." But, who knows, in a year or two or three, I might wake up one day and be very unhappy to find that I am going through all this really cool stuff alone. But for now, triathlon and my goals in the sport and the races I want to do in the future are a priority for me. I can't even imagine being married, having children, or even putting the wheels in motion for that stuff.

So then what am I supposed to talk about??

Do tell! This sounds interesting .

it does sound interesting....

>>Go on the first date, feel them out... mention what you do... and see how they react.

really I get to feel them out on the first date?? so that's what I'm doing wrong

A girl that I went out with sunday afternoon mentioned that she didn't think she could ever do a marathon, instead of me saying how she could, talking training plans. I just said something to the effect of "well you don't have to unless you want to, I just really want to see this movie"  She laughed and was relieved since she thought I was looking to go out with someone that does.  She does run some but mostly is a volleyball player..

--anyway what I'm gettting at most for the women here since Guys's stuggle a lot with pride and ego.. Do you think people are getting scarred off thinking that they need to also be doing all of this??

That's what BTs for

actually I meant it in the reverse gender mode...

not that the guy expects the girl to do things at the same level [because that's why I have guy friends] //    but that guys freak out thinking that they can't measure up and can't handle the getting beat by a girl thing.  Believe it or not some guys are still stuck in the ice age dragging wilma back to the cave by her hair

My $.02.  Long before our triathlon lives, that cute girl I had recently met in a bar accompanied me on a mtb ride on a borrowed, too small bike wherein we rode from Boulder several miles into the mountains before even getting on the trail, then a hard, fun trail ride and back to town for beers and grilling.  Later, when the snows came, and this Texas chick was at least as good a skiier (form-wise, much better) than me, I knew she was a keeper.  Bottom line, through these two (of many) "unique" outings, she demonstrated that she was willing to try new things.  I reciprocated, and we've now been married 13 years.  Now, she's the gym rat and kicking booty in both training and tris.  We both love doing them and have worked out a system for childcare, etc.  We don't see each other quite as much throughout the day, which is a bummer, but it all seems to be good.  Fitness has definitely equated to a stronger relationship.

I guess the bottom line is this, if your prospect is slightly competitive and active, even if they don't count calories or grams, or even to tris, you've probably got a better shot at a long-term relationship.  You do your thing, they'll do theirs (perhaps, eventually the two will merge) and everyone is happy.

Hey Gina - call that muscle head back and invite him on a ride.  Don't drop him too far behind but take him out for 20 or 30 miles.  Then call him and ask how his calves are feeling and laugh like a maniac.

Then change your gym and phone number.

nevermind....ignore this

On occasion, Wilma like's it that way.

Gosh, Jorge!  Where have you been all my life!

I totally agree with you!!!!  However, I just don't think I can do the internet dating thing anymore.