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2008-06-17 1:14 PM
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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 1:13 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:12 AM
Aikidoman - 2008-06-17 1:09 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:07 AM I think a psycho ex might possibly BE their fault. They picked em, you know? I mean, unless you're calling an ex someone you went out with twice or something. But if they like, actually DATED them dated them...bad choice = their fault. So I say about MY bad choices, anyway.

Valid point. But they could date them not knowing they were psycho, then when they wanted to get out, he turns into a stalker or something.... Just trying to give ladies the benefit of the doubt.

Bah.  Ladies don't necessarily benefit from that.  =)  I'm sure there ARE cases where that's true...but I would posit that in the vast majority of situations, there are warning signs screaming and they are either ignored in favor of "security" or "popularity" or "WHATEVER THE HECK."  =)  

Side note, I'm certainly NOT saying ANY woman deserves to be abused or mistreated.  Never ever ever an excuse for that. 

hey, since you brought it up... can someone please shine a light on why some women go back to abusive relationships, even after they have admitted that they were being abused?



Because they'd better. OR ELSE!


2008-06-17 1:14 PM
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2008-06-17 1:15 PM
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Edited by Rynamite 2008-06-17 1:15 PM
2008-06-17 1:15 PM
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2008-06-17 1:16 PM
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2008-06-17 1:17 PM
in reply to: #1472067

Sensei
Sin City
Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 11:10 AM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 2:07 PM I think a psycho ex might possibly BE their fault.  They picked em, you know?  I mean, unless you're calling an ex someone you went out with twice or something.  But if they like, actually DATED them dated them...bad choice = their fault.  So I say about MY bad choices, anyway.

That's the way I look at it. They usually know they're a little crazy, or a 'bad boy'.. and that's why they like them. So I think it IS their fault a lot of the time.

But, (what I have seen) that's many time all they have to choose from.  We talked about this before.  It's typically the aggressive and over confident guys that are willing to approach the hawt ones.  If society would find it more acceptable for women to pursue men without looking like they are easy, they might have a better selection.

There are SO many amazingly hot women that I know (only through my wife though, it's not me) that are very sweet, giving, hard working and wonderful people.  They just get turned off by being approached by jerks who are just interesting in getting them naked.

If I could have the connections I have through my wife, but be single?  Wow....

 



2008-06-17 1:18 PM
in reply to: #1472091

Sydney Australia
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2008-06-17 1:18 PM
in reply to: #1472086

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 1:14 PM

mr2tony - 2008-06-17 2:13 PM
- 2008-06-17 1:11 PM
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 11:10 AM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 2:07 PM I think a psycho ex might possibly BE their fault.  They picked em, you know?  I mean, unless you're calling an ex someone you went out with twice or something.  But if they like, actually DATED them dated them...bad choice = their fault.  So I say about MY bad choices, anyway.

That's the way I look at it. They usually know they're a little crazy, or a 'bad boy'.. and that's why they like them. So I think it IS their fault a lot of the time.

says the resident 'bad boy'

If Ryan is the resident bad boy, then BT is a bunch of pu$$ies.

This may have been a jab, but I'mna agree with it.



Being the toughest guy on BT is like being the coolest kid in band camp.
2008-06-17 1:19 PM
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2008-06-17 1:19 PM
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2008-06-17 1:19 PM
in reply to: #1472087

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 2:15 PM

It's because they need that strong emotion, even if it's a negative one.




Yep. It is because they want to be abused, whether they realize it or not. Abuse is the only form of affirmation they know. "He didn't mean to hit me, and wow, you should have seen how sorry he was and how much he loves me." I had multiple GFs that had been beaten in the past that used to try so hard to get me to lose my temper to that point. They would go insane when I wouldn't do it and start shouting things like "you don't care" and "you don't love me" because I wasn't willing to haul off and throw punches.

Most often it was women who had been treated like that as kids and never shown any positive affirmation.


2008-06-17 1:19 PM
in reply to: #1472080

Sensei
Sin City
Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 11:13 AM
lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:12 AM
Aikidoman - 2008-06-17 1:09 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:07 AM I think a psycho ex might possibly BE their fault. They picked em, you know? I mean, unless you're calling an ex someone you went out with twice or something. But if they like, actually DATED them dated them...bad choice = their fault. So I say about MY bad choices, anyway.

Valid point. But they could date them not knowing they were psycho, then when they wanted to get out, he turns into a stalker or something.... Just trying to give ladies the benefit of the doubt.

Bah.  Ladies don't necessarily benefit from that.  =)  I'm sure there ARE cases where that's true...but I would posit that in the vast majority of situations, there are warning signs screaming and they are either ignored in favor of "security" or "popularity" or "WHATEVER THE HECK."  =)  

Side note, I'm certainly NOT saying ANY woman deserves to be abused or mistreated.  Never ever ever an excuse for that. 

hey, since you brought it up... can someone please shine a light on why some women go back to abusive relationships, even after they have admitted that they were being abused?

Or back to guys who routinely cheat on them.  Amazing....

2008-06-17 1:20 PM
in reply to: #1472094

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 1:18 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:16 AM Honestly, Cullen...I think we all do that to some extent with something.  I don't exactly get the whole thing, but we all go "back" to something we KNOW we don't REALLY want...but we do...but we don't.  And it bites us in the butt.  Or, in some cases the stakes are just higher.  Yes?

ok...  so what do you say to a friend who wants to be with someone who is abusive?



Give her the name of a counseling service.
2008-06-17 1:20 PM
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2008-06-17 1:21 PM
in reply to: #1472093

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
Aikidoman - 2008-06-17 2:17 PM

If society would find it more acceptable for women to pursue men without looking like they are easy, they might have a better selection.



Or maybe if the hawt ones stopped treating the average men like underlings if they aren't driving a Porsche. That would work too.
2008-06-17 1:21 PM
in reply to: #1472094

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 1:18 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:16 AM Honestly, Cullen...I think we all do that to some extent with something.  I don't exactly get the whole thing, but we all go "back" to something we KNOW we don't REALLY want...but we do...but we don't.  And it bites us in the butt.  Or, in some cases the stakes are just higher.  Yes?

ok...  so what do you say to a friend who wants to be with someone who is abusive?



I think you have to speak your mind a let them know what they are getting into, but then stand by their side regardless of their ultimate decision...either that or hire a hitman to kneecap the abusive punk!


2008-06-17 1:22 PM
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2008-06-17 1:22 PM
in reply to: #1472106

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 1:20 PM

mr2tony - 2008-06-17 2:18 PM
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 1:14 PM
mr2tony - 2008-06-17 2:13 PM
- 2008-06-17 1:11 PM
Rynamite - 2008-06-17 11:10 AM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 2:07 PM I think a psycho ex might possibly BE their fault.  They picked em, you know?  I mean, unless you're calling an ex someone you went out with twice or something.  But if they like, actually DATED them dated them...bad choice = their fault.  So I say about MY bad choices, anyway.

That's the way I look at it. They usually know they're a little crazy, or a 'bad boy'.. and that's why they like them. So I think it IS their fault a lot of the time.

says the resident 'bad boy'

If Ryan is the resident bad boy, then BT is a bunch of pu$$ies.

This may have been a jab, but I'mna agree with it.

Being the toughest guy on BT is like being the coolest kid in band camp.

HAHAHAHA, easy now... I'll bet some of your musical icons were the coolest kids at band camp.



True dat. But it doesn't mean they were cool at the time. I was a big dork in high school. And look at me now. I'm 33 and still a dork! But at least I can still get chicks.

I mean, I COULD, if I weren't married. Speaking of that, do you married fellas ever hit on a girl just to see if you still got it? I don't ...
2008-06-17 1:23 PM
in reply to: #1472110

Sydney Australia
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2008-06-17 1:23 PM
in reply to: #1472121

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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 1:23 PM

wes mantooth - 2008-06-17 11:21 AM
- 2008-06-17 1:18 PM

lvthgme - 2008-06-17 11:16 AM Honestly, Cullen...I think we all do that to some extent with something.  I don't exactly get the whole thing, but we all go "back" to something we KNOW we don't REALLY want...but we do...but we don't.  And it bites us in the butt.  Or, in some cases the stakes are just higher.  Yes?

ok...  so what do you say to a friend who wants to be with someone who is abusive?

I think you have to speak your mind a let them know what they are getting into, but then stand by their side regardless of their ultimate decision...either that or hire a hitman to kneecap the abusive punk!

effing SUCKS.. makes me so sick..

( Its like taking Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and then NOT calling her the next day..   )



DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!
2008-06-17 1:24 PM
in reply to: #1462958

Sydney Australia
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2008-06-17 1:24 PM
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2008-06-17 1:24 PM
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Subject: RE: TAN #29 The case of the disappearing TAN
- 2008-06-17 2:18 PM

ok... so what do you say to a friend who wants to be with someone who is abusive?




Or worse... what do you say to someone you still care about that dumps you to return to an ex that used to beat her to crap? Part of you is like "don't... he'll hurt you" while the newly dumped part secretly hopes it will happen against your better judgement.

2008-06-17 1:25 PM
in reply to: #1472125

Sydney Australia
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2008-06-17 1:27 PM
in reply to: #1462958

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