Just followed a school bus through town... (Page 5)

Single mother and full time college student, get home exhausted, have 4 hours of homework and a quantum mechanics test tomorrow leading to poor food choices.  My priority, going to school and getting an education so I could get a decent job and not live on welfare with my son.  Whether you like it or not it is often easier and cheeper to eat poorly than to eat well.  Add little or no time for exercise, 5 abdominal surgeries in 4 years and clinical depression makes physical activity difficult to work in.  My priority just making it through to tomorrow sometimes.  Guess what sometimes food gives comfort when you have nothing else.  Change came only over time and I couldn't give you a defining moment if I tried but luckily for me Change did come.  It has been hard, it has been painful and judgmental people certainly aren't what makes you want to go out and ride your bike when you look like an overstuffed sausage.  I still will not wear a bike jersey because of how self-conscious I am, because of how many times I have heard from people some version of I am just a lazy pig.  I have wanted to quit many times, luckily my biggest asset is I am just plain stubborn.  When I started I couldn't ride my bike 5 miles a year later I rode my first Century (and lost no weight in the training by the way).  So next time you take one of those snapshots and you make judgments about people you may just be looking at me.  Or maybe you are just looking at some soul that has found it too difficult and demoralizing to try to ride with you guys.  Judge at you own peril for it may be you on the chopping block next.

I have tried to stay out of this thread, because the subject makes me defensive as well.  This site is extremely supportive, but sometimes it does sound like people here are very judgemental of someone battling not just weight, but emotional dependancy on food.  It is very easy to become devensive on the subject and feel like you are being attacked.  There is an automatic assumption by many that if you are fat you are lazy.  "Just diet and exercise"...and for many that will work, but for many, there are chemical and emotional dependancys that go far beyond just diet and exercise and need help to get there.  You may argue that this is not the norm, I will argue that it is much more the norm than people admit.  I battle with this every day. 

I know that the OP was not meant as an attack, but for those of us that suffer from these "bad choices" it can come across this way and sometimes change is a lot harder and we become almost paranoid of the looks and subtle attacks that happen day to day in life.  So a thread on the subject seems to be just another one of these attacks whether it is meant to be or not. 

This is just my .02....

CoJ has seen a plethora of threads bemoaning obesity. There is an undercurrent of judgmentalism in many - not all - of the posts complaining about their obese fellow man. I don't see the point of these posts. Rarely are they constructive or helpful. Rarely.

Unless you are personally struggling with this demon, what is the point? Really?

In triathlons, we often refer to overweight or obese competitors as Clydesdales and Athenas. Please remember they are on this site, they are reading your posts, they are feeling your judgment, they are struggling to change their lives. They don't really need your negativity to 'encourage' or motivate them to change. My post won't change anybody's posting habits, I know - it's the same people over and over who have something to say about their obese fellow man.

Two things really stood out in when we were in Europe a couple of weeks ago. Most of the people were not obese. I'm not saying everyone was exercise model lean. A lot of them could stand to lose 10 to 15 lbs, but not many were obese. In general when I saw an obese person over there, turns out they were an American tourist. The other thing that really stood out over there was the lack of fast food places and pre-packaged food. Both were available, but not in abundance like we have here in the States. Super sized platters of food were not on the menus at the regular restaurants either.

Years ago, when I lived in Spain, I noticed this too...especially the children were very active and in pretty good shape...few people drove to work, most walked or rode a bike, possibly a moped...And in town, there was very few fast food choices.  But...the older folk were actually quite over weight.  But...they still bought all their food fresh everyday...few things were packaged...like we expect.   A friend was currently back in Rota, and said it had changed a lot...he didn't elaborate...I wonder how "americanized"it is now. 

It sounds like, despite your arguments to the contrary, you have realized that by making smarter choices and changing your own behaviors, you can lose weight, become healthier and reach continually higher fitness goals-- and you are currently working to do so, despite leading a very challenging life. I know everyone here would applaud and support your efforts.

No what I have found is that despite doing working out 2 or more hours a day 6 days a week, and eating healthier than just about anyone else I know All told in 3 years I have lost 20Lbs.  Oh and don't let me forget 1 pants size.  After the first year of training for Triathlons I had lost, drum roll please, no weight and no pants sizes.  I competed in my first and so far only tri at 260 lbs.  I worked with a trainer in addition to my other training activities, for a year and lost... another drum roll please...  about 25 lbs went on vacation and moved in the course of 2 months or eating probably only slightly worse than you probably eat i gainied it all back plus 10 pound extra.  Yeah for me.  Started to get back into the swing of things about 7 months ago and am now back up to 2+ hours a day for 5 days plus a 3-5 hour bike ride on the weekend.  I keep a food journal and typically eat ~1600 calories a day. Do you really need another drum roll? In 7 months I think I finally made it up to loosing 20 lbs.  Does this sound to you like if I just eat less and exercise more I will lose weight.  Think about how disheartening all this is, do you think you would have the will to continue in the face of 3 years of failure?  Then I come upon this site and I do find a number of truly inspirational and supportive people.  Then I find this thread where people are calling overweight people lazy, talking about a fat tax and how much I cost you.  According to some the reason people are fat is that they are eating McDonalds and other fast food and not making home cooked meals. Telling me well if you just made better choices this would all go away.  Guess what ....WRONG.  My diet has not always been the best but it is has also been no worse than a number of people who are skinny or only have a 10 or 20 lbs to lose.  So to all you who think it's just a matter of will power or simple mathematics come walk a mile in my shoes.  Or better yet come ride 60+ miles with me this weekend.  You do not know these people you do not know what their lives are like just like you don't know what my life is like who are you to judge.  Lastly thank you for wishing me luck I will succeed or die tri-ing.

Out of curiosity...

Have you ever had a doctor evaluate your weight loss difficulties?  Or met with a registered dietitian?

Perhaps, for you, the struggle to lose weight has more to do with your body.  While not the norm, it's certainly not unheard of. 

I've stayed out of this until now, but, what the hey. It's Friday, and I'm feeling the need to jump in.

I've been obese. Borderline morbidly obese. My mom is morbidly obese. I can honestly say, that for us, it was because of our food choices and lack of exercise. My dad, on the other hand, was really skinny. Was he healthy? No, he smoked all his life and now he's gone. Yet, my obese mom is pretty healthy for her age (72).

I can also honestly say that our natural metabolism, without the benefit of exercise, is not as high as some others. That is not an excuse though for our obesity. It is just a contributing factor. I lost my weight. But it took me over 2 years to lose the majority of it. Now I'm about 10 lbs from my goal weight and I've been here for 6 months. Tell me that's not frustrating. I'm IM training, so it certainly isn't from lack of exercise. I eat very healthy. I occassionally have junk food. But it is not the norm. So why can't I shed those last 10 lbs? Calories. Calories count whether it's junk food or clean food. I take responsibility for that.

When I see obese kids with obese parents, it makes me sad. As sad as it would make me if I saw a teenager smoking with a parent. Because I know that the eating choices and lifestyle I was raised in formed my eating habits that I carried into adulthood. And when I wanted to lose weight, it was hard to give them up. Parents, whether they like it or not, pass their views on eating and exercise on to their children. I was lucky that my dad was athletic. So at least while I was chubby, I was very athletic growing up. Of course, this changed when I became an adult.

An example of how we pass along our ideas on food: when I was a child and had a bad day at school, when I got home, my mom would give me a little debbie snack cake. We would sit and eat our little debbies while we discussed what bothered me. If it was really bad, we'd go out to dinner to have my "favorites." My mom taught me that food was there to comfort me. So, as an adult, I had to come to terms with this and find other ways to deal with my emotions. I still use food as a comfort, though I try not to.

So yes, it makes me sad when I see kids who are obese. Their parents have contributed to this. I know there are all kinds of situations out there, and I don't know where they are coming from. But it still makes me sad. I don't pity them, please don't confuse the two emotions. I just feel overwhelming sadness that these kids are gonna have this extra hurdle they will have to get over in their life. Being big brings so many extra stresses on people. And it does concern me that over the years, people are starting to normalize being overweight.

My mother is an RD, and worked with clinically obese.  While your case may very well be clinical in nature, it is far from normal.

I agree, it is wrong to judge people based on appearance alone.  It is also wrong to take a complex problem and deconstruct it into something as simple as "Eat less, move more".  Unfortunately, this is how most people naturally look at things.  And while I applaud your current work, I think you're best option is to seek additional medical advice, perhaps a specialist.

My only other piece of advice, and this is also difficult, is to work on not letting the thoughts, words, or looks of others affect your self-perception.  Easier said than done, I know from personal experiences with this sort of thing.  Professional help is also key for this as well.  Probably not anything you don't already know, but it may help someone else reading. 

Any of these docs ever do some bloodwork?  Maybe you have an underactive thyroid.

My underactive thyroid wasn't discovered until I was 25.  Treatment did not make it easier for me to lose weight, but I was only about 20 lbs overweight, so I'm thinking someone with a similar issue that has more weight to lose might see a bigger effect.

It took me about a year of deliberate efforts to lose 12 lbs, but I'm confident that it was 12 lbs of real fat loss, and I had to do it in a way that I could live with (no diets, just reasonable permanent adjustments).  I won't deny that it is difficult to shed pounds that are already there.  I've been plateaued for a month.

Wow, Suzanne, nice post!

I had never really dieted in my life, I went from really too skinny (163 lbs) when I was doing extremely physical labour as a 19 year-old to slimish when I was travelling through S-E Asia (172 lbs) to fatty-ish (204 lbs) during part of my 20s drinking a good 10+ pints of beer per week and going to the gym 6 hours per week. Anyhoo, I was training at 185 lbs for a long time until the baby came along and I stopped training and didn't pay attention to my eating. When I got back from Australia in January I stood on a scale and saw 197.5 lbs. Yuck.

So, I went on my first diet. It was only then that I recognized that food was much more than just sustenance. It makes us feel certain ways, we go for it when we are in certain moods. I just never knew that food was much more than food.

I was down to 168.5 lbs a month ago before my trip to Europe. My wife told me that I was too skinny and had to put on weight. "No problem!", I said, "I'll gain some in Europe!" In 10 days in Europe I gained 4 lbs. Holy cow! Anyway, I'm going to lose a couple of lbs before my next trip so that I don't go over 172.5 lbs, which I think is a comfortable weight for me.

What I learned from dieting:

- You can't lose significant weight from moderate exercise alone.

- Dieting requires a dramatic change in habits and will only work if you work those habits in your day to day life (for me it means: No crap food. Portion control. A snack before bed. No alcohol during the week. Limit calories from fat. Limit calories from sugar.)

- Get crap food out of the house.

- Don't eat out.

- Plan your meals.

That's about it. Don't know if this is off-topic, but there it is.

Ok, I just saw what I wrote.  If I put a little thought into it it's not hard to figure out why.

1.  My training volume is about 2/3 of what it was last month.

2.  I consumed junk food and lots of alcohol during the past 2 weekends.

3.  I've been going out to lunch 1-2 days a week after a couple months of going out less than once a week.

It's time for me to HTFU and take responsibility for my actions!!!!!!  Back on the wagon!!!!!  Well.............after my b-day, this weekend.   

Seriously, this should be the weight loss bible. 

It is for many...This is what many of us try to do.  The other thing to remember, is not to get discouraged by weight numbers themselves...How clothing fits and other physical changes show advancement in health.  Its not all about weight!  Just another .02...

on a side note...I now realize where all my money goes...I give $.02 so often here on COJ that it really adds up...if anyone can pay me all that money back, I would really appreciate it.

You are both absolutely right these are essential rules to eating healthy but here is a reality check.  FL you said in the last year you have lost 12 lbs out of your desired 20 lbs.   This is great for you (and I really do not want that to come off sounding sarcastic) you are more than halfway to your goal.  If I lost weight at that rate I would be at my goal weight in about 10 years. It is akin to the mental difference between running an Olympic Distance and Iron Man.  At mile 5 of an Olympic you have completed a large portion of the run and you can "see" the finish line, that can be powerful motivation.  At mile 5 of an Ironman you have barely just begun and if you are exhausted and not fully mentally prepared it is hard to find the motivation to go on (for me this is speculative based on what others of you have said).

These rules sound simple; they make intuitive sense to most who will read this.  Will one of you define moderate exercise for me?  We all know potato chips and cookies etc. is crap but what else is crap?  Someone much earlier in this thread mentioned Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches as being a healthy alternative to fast food.  Do you know how many calories are in a PB&J sandwich?  There are 400-500 calories in PB&J and if you match it with the 8oz of chocolate milk some around here are so fond of as recovery drinks, you have 600-700 calories. You have just consumed about 1/3 of my daily caloric intake; I hope you didn't want much for dinner.  Oh and don't get hungry during the day now you can’t' afford too many more calories (it's a good thing I love broccoli and cauliflower).  How about fruit and fruit juice, they are good for you right?  Even the ones without added sugar are still packed with as many calories as a soda.  (http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2007/03/20/fruit_juice_making_kids_fat.php)  What about those juice places like Keva Juice or Jamaba juice?  They are fruit juice and fruit right, they are good for you right?  They are also about 1000 calories a drink.  I really don’t' need to go on as most of you have probably learned a lot of this stuff over the course of training. 

So you decided to lose the extra 100+ lbs you have gained for a variety of reasons (we don't need to get back in to the debate about how that happens).  What now?  Well you institute the rules provided here, or so you think.  You watch everyone around you eat whatever they want while your birthday cake was an apple.  You go to the gym because you know you need to exercise and you go into the locker room and are confronted with everything you are not.  You will probably hear some derisive remark at one point from some judgmental a**.  You walk out onto the floor to do some aerobic work and you get to look in 360 deg of mirrors so you can see how bad you look from every possible angle known to man.  You look up expecting to see mirrors there too.  Are you discouraged yet?  You are still motivated and still going but your mental resolve is being sorely tested.  Somewhere around 3-5 months you are feeling deprived and low on motivation, you get on a scale and you have lost 10 lbs.  Yeah only 90+ to go.  If you have been following the no junk rule to the letter you will now lose your ever lovin' freakin' mind.  They will find you on the couch in a sugar induced haze surrounded by Twinkie and ho ho wrappers.  You have just gained 5 lbs of the 10 you lost, can you start again?   If you have managed to keep going you will learn more and more over time, like the caloric value of most foods know to man.  Things like; corn is not a vegetable like you always thought but is actually a starch like bread or potatoes.  You continue on your journey of 1*10^6 steps and you learn more and more about what you need as time goes on.  Then one day you come upon a thread where people are handing out judgments on obesity and simplistic (there is a difference between simplistic and easy) rules and it chaps you’re a**.  Luckily you also find a number of supportive people who are willing to try to help you along.

Ok this is way too long sorry about that.