Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 60)

Hah!  Valid tip ladies:  When you date a man, you date his ego.  You'd better keep it happy.

Teejaay - 2013-03-28 12:09 PM

Zero2Athlete - 2013-03-28 5:21 AM

cgregg - 2013-03-27 3:51 PM

Pector55 - 2013-03-27 3:45 PM

Zero2Athlete - 2013-03-27 2:52 PM

Pector55 - 2013-03-26 5:14 PM

NRG42 - 2013-03-26 5:11 PM

Height is my thing.  I can't date a shorter man.  I feel very ackward. 

How tall are you?  I can understand your rules.  I probably wouldn't date a woman with shoulders wider than mine.

Haven't thought about shoulder-width... But they'd have to be a pretty beefy girl to beat me out there.  I don't mind tall chicks...like, in my neighborhood at least.  I'm 6ft even.  I did date one chick that was like 6' 4'.  That didn't even bother me so much but her hands were huge... Not just a little a bigger than mine - humoungo.  I have to admit that it felt a bit creepy to have my hand dwarfed when we put them together.  I kept picturing that she was stealing a toddler.

Admit it, you didn't like how the big hands made other things appear smaller.  lol

Can't blame him. A guy goes through all the trouble of trimming the bushes around the tree to make things look better only to have the illusion destroyed....  that's kinda a deal breaker.

Hah!  Valid tip ladies:  When you date a man, you date his ego.  You'd better keep it happy.

We are well aware. Lol. You boys have no idea how much we go out of our way to not bruise it!

Not just when you're dating them either, it continues on after you marry them.

Teejaay - 2013-03-28 12:39 PM

turtlegirl - 2013-03-28 9:31 AMLikewise, never describe a girl as big or wide. I actually have the widest bars on my road bike due to my shoulders...bike fitter, "wow, you're really wide!" Me, "thanks, I have to turn sideways to get through doorframes."

Just like I never use the word "cute" to describe anything on a man. .

Thank you for your cooperation.

Wow, that is probably one of those things you say and then as you are letting the last word go, you wish you could pull it all back.  I don't drink so I once had a girl tell me that she could drink me under the table.  Knowing that she was thin and that I had one healthy appetite, my quick response was, "I'm sure you could but I could eat you under the table."  There was an awkward silence and she said something to the effect that I was either brilliant for such an awesome pickup line comeback or that I was a total dork.  I knew my face was bright red so I just admitted that I was a dork. 

Cool story bro

Admit it.. you will try to use that line.

I will try to use it... again?

Guilty

Question for the girls - So things seem to going OK with crossfit chick, but she's mentioned talking on the phone a couple times.  We've been hanging out a couple times/week, and see each other most other days at the gym (where we chat a little, but she works so we keep things pretty on the DL).  And we text every day.  To me, this is a good amount of contact...

Last time we went out, she mentioned something about "4 days of texting" and "why talk on the phone?" (which we've only done once, that I can recall).  She said it casually, but I guess she must be saying that she'd prefer to talk on the phone sometimes?  I just haven't called her because A. I don't want to come off as needy/clingy... - I mean, we do see each other and chat briefly in person almost every day.  And B. If we chat at the gym, and text all day (an exaggeration, but there is no shortage of daily chat-banter), I'm not sure what we're going to talk about on the phone?  And will that cut into what we have to talk about when we get together outside of the gym?  I don't really object and I was thinking of calling her this evening (even though I'll see her at the gym in the afternoon and we are going out tomorrow eve)...Just looking for insight, I guess.  Would calling more send some signal that she needs?  Recommended frequency given the other daily contact?

DeannaS - 2013-03-29 8:17 AM

Zero2Athlete - 2013-03-29 7:09 AM

Question for the girls -   Would calling more send some signal that she needs?  Recommended frequency given the other daily contact?

My advice? Just ask her. Don't feed in to any kind of passive aggressive "you should read my mind and know what I want" bs. If she wants you to call instead of text, she should be able to say that. If you think she's saying that without saying that, call her on it. Say, "hey, I picked up a vibe that you might prefer some old-fashioned phone calls instead of or in addition to all the texting. Am I reading you correctly here?" And, honestly, share your concerns. Tell her that you're worried that you won't have enough to talk about between all the texting and the chats in person to fill a phone call. Maybe it's not content she wants, and she just wants to hear your voice. Or, maybe she's willing to forgo the text msgs in exchange for a phone call now and then. Of course, this is my stock answer for anything that someone posts on a forum that's specifically about a person they're dating. Ask US the question and I'm always going to tell you to ask HIM/HER the question. So, if you want my "I'm not going to ask her so just give me the dang advice" answer, I'd say that if you need to worry about anyone being needy, it sounds like it's her, not you.

The carrot provides good vision Danielson!

DeannaS - 2013-03-29 5:17 AM

Zero2Athlete - 2013-03-29 7:09 AM

Question for the girls -   Would calling more send some signal that she needs?  Recommended frequency given the other daily contact?

My advice? Just ask her. Don't feed in to any kind of passive aggressive "you should read my mind and know what I want" bs. If she wants you to call instead of text, she should be able to say that. If you think she's saying that without saying that, call her on it. Say, "hey, I picked up a vibe that you might prefer some old-fashioned phone calls instead of or in addition to all the texting. Am I reading you correctly here?" And, honestly, share your concerns. Tell her that you're worried that you won't have enough to talk about between all the texting and the chats in person to fill a phone call. Maybe it's not content she wants, and she just wants to hear your voice. Or, maybe she's willing to forgo the text msgs in exchange for a phone call now and then. Of course, this is my stock answer for anything that someone posts on a forum that's specifically about a person they're dating. Ask US the question and I'm always going to tell you to ask HIM/HER the question. So, if you want my "I'm not going to ask her so just give me the dang advice" answer, I'd say that if you need to worry about anyone being needy, it sounds like it's her, not you.

If she wants to talk on the phone, she should just pick up the phone and call you, not tell you to call her...  to me - that's weird.  Or maybe I misunderstood...

Score 1 more for asking women out in person... 

Today, I was out for my ride, and about 30 miles in, I see this incredibly smoking hot woman running down the road.  I wave, but either she didn't see me, or she didn't want to wave back.  I ride on.  

I am doing a loop - and upon heading back up the a different road, I see her again.  This is about 5 miles from where I first saw her, so I thought "what the hell, you only live once."  

I turn around, and catch up to her.  Pulling up beside her, I cautiously approached as she had headphones in, and I didn't want the 1st impression to be me scaring the sh*t out of her.  She notices me and pops out the headphones.  

"How far are you running today?  I saw you over on _____ road, and you were crusing. " I say

" I don't know, I just run.  I do Yoga in the morning, then I run for 1 1/2 hours or so each day?"  she replies.

"Wow - you don't keep track of your miles or pace?"

"Nope - I just love to run."

"Are you training for anything?"

"Nope - just love to run.  I am a couple years short of 40 though, so I've been thinking about doing a Marathon lately."  

"That's cool, I do triathlons.  I love to run, but I can't imagine running without starting my app that gives me all my #'s"  

This last comment gave her a little chuckle.... I then asked "Are you running tomorrow?"

She replies "Yes."

So I say "Would you like some company?"  

She says "Sure"  

We are meeting at a local Starbucks @ 11:00 a.m.... for a running date... 

Oh dear God, TG...I apologize on behalf of my gender.  Good date...bad date, I'm paying the bill. And the tip.

Strong work, Muskrat!

Yeah I'm the same way.  I pay no matter what.

geesh, the date was just yesterday, hold your horses (intended pun due to your love of all things equine)  

I arrived 5 mins early and was sitting outside on a perfect sunny morning.  She ran around the corner, hot and sweaty already....oh wait, it's not that type of story... 

Actually - that is what happened.  Apparently her apartment is just across the street, but she went for a 30 min run before meeting me!  Guess she thought I wouldn't give her enough of a workout.  

After the greetings, we set out.  I told her the pace and the route were up to her.  Since she runs for "fun" and never tracks her runs, she couldn't tell me how fast nor how far we were going to run.  She was excited that I was tracking the run though, because she wanted to know how far the route was and how fast she runs.  

It was literally the perfect day for running, sunny and 65 out - we had lot's of small talk.  One thing that stands out is she said it was nice to run with a guy that could keep up with her, but that wasn't trying to race her.  She said she has gone running with guys before, and something happens to them and they get all competitive. 

Anyways, very nice run...lot's of talk.  Towards the end, I could tell she was hurting a bit.  I asked if she wanted to walk the rest of the way - she did.  Didn't get my planned 9 miles in - but we ended up running just short of 7 miles.  It was nice to walk for a bit at the end.  

I asked if she wanted to grab a bite to eat...we headed over to a little cafe and ended up having about a 1 1/2 hour lunch.  Told her I could be back down in Portland next weekend if she wanted to go on an "real" date.  We have a "Sushi" date next Saturday night.  

Couple of highlights.  She has a great sense of humor.  Told me that it was pretty "ballsy" of me to roll up on her like that.  We laughed when I told her that I rode away thinking the same thing, since she is the first woman I have ever done that to.  She likes her freedom and independence and enjoys being single. This is perfect because I do too, and I live 2 1/2 hours away.  She does not have kids, and does not want any. Never has, and she does not care that I have an 11 year old son.  I told her that she wouldn't meet my son unless we got real serious anyways... She liked that.  

We got along great, and the talk flowed smoothly.  No awkward moments.  She doesn't like football or hockey but likes to go to a baseball game .. she likes to hike , but does not like to camp unless "it's in a hotel"  She thinks it's cool I scuba dive.  She loves to travel  Listens to hip hop music while running - doesn't like country... (I like both, in addition to rock and blues).. Overall, no deal breakers so far.  Totally cool chick, and I'm looking forward to next Saturday night.  

I texted her last night and told her I had a great time today, and I enjoyed getting to know her a bit... she texted back and said she "had fun on our AMBUSH date" and that she "Really enjoyed hanging out with me too, Saturday will be fun" 

And yes - I picked up the tab for lunch.  

Love it Muskrat!! Well done
TurtleGirl I would have said "how is it WE didn't leave enough? I left 20% for my part!" How strange. 

Over here I am not sure when is appropriate to have the "exclusive" conversation. I've (felt like I) forced it before on guys and always got the vibe they were reluctant to concede. So I'm not doing that this time around, but it's obvious that's the direction we're going.

I was on his phone Saturday night looking at some photos we'd taken when a girl texted him. I ended up seeing the string of texts trying to get out of the menu on his phone and it upset me, surprised me. He'd been dropping subtle questions week after week trying to see if I was dating anyone else and last week I told him I wasn't - and that I'd de-activated my dating profiles. Seems like a logical step. So I was surprised to see/hear he was still talking to not one, but two other women. 

After talking about it he made it clear he didn't want to see anyone but me (and was going to promptly tell the two women he wasn't going to talk anymore) - but didn't come out and say "exclusive" or anything. Like I said before, I've learned my lesson pressing that issue. So I'm not sure where we are. And that's okay, it's still new-ish.

Anyway, just re-capping since I haven't contributed much here lately.

YMMV, but I'll give you my unsolicited .02

I feel like if a girl wants to get exclusive, then she'll bring it up.  Like you, I feel like if I bring it up, the chance of scaring them away is really high, so I'd rather let them do it.  Perhaps this guy feels the same way, so he is talking to other girls until exclusivity is established.

The fact that he's been asking subtle questions kind of reinforces my thought the he doesn't know where the relationship is.  Maybe you seeing the conversations and asking him about it gave him the assurance he was looking for.

Hope it works out well for you.