Ghoulies Springing into action (Page 9)

Thnx Kim.

I did unfriend him on FB, and he sent me another request which I ignored. He started following me on Twitter, but I never tweet anything. I still want to figure out if I can block him there though.

Good Morning, Ghoulies!

DH has the day off today, so alarm was set for 8:15 instead of 6:16.  NICE!  I have to leave about 9:30 for work, so all is good.

Sleeping in is GOOOOOOD!

Boy, is it a good thing I'm not a mom ... I would handle such things terribly, I think. I'm very in-your-face and I think in some less clear cut cases that could really be to the detriment of the child.

However.

I think you're spot-on about this guy. And even if you're not--in such cases it is always far far far far better to err on the side of caution. There's a gazillion red flags here--1) prison (as you said, find out more about this, I mean, if it was a weekend's jail for what turned out to be a misdemeanor that could be something else, but still), 2) He doesn't KNOW reasonable behavior from a male coach to female athletes, and he doesn't know that he doesn't know it! 3) He doesn't seem to know REASONABLE protectiveness (not overbearing babying) that parents have for their children either. 4) He's a crappy coach.

I actually would encourage you to respond to his message in writing so that there's a record of it. I'd write pretty much what you wrote here, maybe a bit more formalized as appropriate, but that would be the gist of your concerns.

I don't know what I would do. The only time I ask parents to step out of the room with a 11-15 yr old is when I need to ask sensitive questions I don't think I will get an honest answer to if the parent is in the room. I think if you get the hibby-jibbies you have to trust your gut.

As for responding...I don't know what I would do. I might just write back initially about how you felt the season went and you didn't feel the girls developed as athletes. I'd try to get more info before confronting him about inappropriate touching, etc. Not really a confrontation I would want to have over coffee, but something that should be done in a more controlled atmosphere, IMO. But thats just me.

Wow Ann.  Tough situation.  Good for you for giving him so little access to Keri.  I don't think I would respond in writing even an email.  You can also block him on email.... He isn't her coach anymore right?  No reason to get emails.

I think you are right to pursue with whoever runs the league?  They denied him and then let him coach?  Weird.  Did you keep any of the inappropriate emails that you could print off? What an awful situation.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I really want to punch the guy at minimum in the face so I don't know if coffee with him would be a good thing.

He stated last night that he plans on coaching the summer league, my daughter plays softball so we won't have time for basketball is the stance I'll be taking. If he coaches next year, the girls will have moved up and Keri will have no problem making the A team, while there is no way his daughter should be on that team. I'm hoping that we no longer have to deal with him as a coach, but if we do I will be raising all kinds of he!! about it, and his interactions with the girls.

I HATE that instead of bedtime stores some nights are the good touch/bad touch talks. But my daughter does know that NO MATTER WHAT she can always tell me. If someone tells her they will come after me, she knows to let them come. When my kids were little and afraid of things in the night I always told them the scariest thing in our house is me, they still remember that.

Thanks Dee. It was the softball league that denied him as a coach, but the basketball league accepted him. I'd like to know why.

Well Ann, You have heard from everyone. My 2 cents worth is to trust your gut. You are not a paranoid person and you only get one chance in these things.

I think it would be best to just ignore his email. Hopefully we never have to deal with him again anyway. I don't think I could respond without telling him how I really think and Keri has to go to school with his daughter.

The most dangerous thing in my house is me, and I'm guarded by 170 pounds of protective puppy.

I would ignore it, and if I got any more, then I would respond. Is Keri on Facebook? is she FB friends with him? Does she get e-mails? THAT would be worrisome.

Ann, I'm popping in a bit late on the discussion.  This is a very hard call to make.  As Robin says, go with your gut.  One thing to consider is asking the basketball league about their guidelines for becoming a coach.  Also, do any of the other parents have misgivings about the coach?  If so, then it is not just one person who is questioning things.  If I really had misgivings about the person, I would not want them to be coaching anyone, not just my daughter. 

It's a hard call on the photos.  If you are a camera buff you do tend to take a lot of pictures.  On the other side, you are the parent, and if you don't want him posting pictures of your daughter on the web, you can let him know. 

I know you will do what you feel is right for you and especially, Keri.

Keri is not on Facebook. She has twice for an account, and she is told no. The emails come to my account, but he puts their names in the header. She has an email account, but there are only 2 people that have the address. Any email she would receive is setup to be forwarded to me, and I never even set up her Kindle to receive emails. The only reason she needed the email account was so I could create a game center account for her on her ipod touch.

For the record I live in a very rural, provincial,  not so much edumacated area where people try to believe that there is no bad in the world.

I tried talking to 2 parents to see if they had the same vibe. One completely dismissed the idea. The other, who is in court now in a custody battle with her ex-con, pervert, not allowed to be with the children unsupervised husband. She got the same vibe. She wasn't sure how he was allowed to coach other, but she kind of already has her hands full with personal matters. She said she wouldn't want her daughter alone with him, and she's only a third grader.

I understand the camera buff thing, I've taken over 100 pictures at a basketball game, but they're mostly of my kid. He takes pictures of all the girls, and has asked parents who have taken pictures if they could send them to him. I find that odd. I've never sent him pictures even though asked. At one game he wanted us to wait around after the game so he could take pictures of Keri before we left. We didn't wait.

Good morning Ghoulies!

Happy FFFFriday!

Good thing I WFH on Fridays. A car door was left open all night, so the interior lights were on, the battery is dead. I went to take Caleb down the road to Grandma's for breakfast and to get on the bus, he ended up riding his bike down. My FIL is going to come up in a little while and hook up the charger, and pick up Keri to take her down to get on the bus.

Thanks Amy.

I not sure how basketball runs, but I will be finding out, but I know with soccer there are a lot of rules when it comes to dealing with the kids. When I coached soccer we had a coaches meeting to go over what was acceptable, and what their was actually rules about. They soccer league also has  a child safety advocate to make sure the rules are followed, and parents can go to that person if there are any concerns. Everyone is made aware of who this person is at the beginning of the season. I know with soccer that background checks are done yearly on anyone who is involved with the children, including the board members. I remember when they got to U10 and had the boys and girls on separate teams that if a man coached an all girls team he was never allowed to be alone with the girls, there always had to be an adult female present, and they prefered it to be a parent, same goes if a woman would be coaching an all boys team. As far as I know there is none of this with the basketball program, I don't even think there is a board, just the 1 guy who runs the show, soccer had a board with I think 8 people on it, and that was just for our park, all the other teams had their own boards. I am going to be digging more into the situation. Yes, I want to protect my kid, but I also don't want anything to happen to any of the other girls if I can prevent it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened.

Beware the Ides...

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I feel better already!

Happy Ides!

I think you should stay home today... all day.

Sorry your toothie hurts, getting it fixed asap is good. You need to rest up for that!

Whacha going to DC for?

Good Morning! 

Another sleep in day for me! Yeah!

And there are birds chirping outside.  I haven't heard them for quite a while!  The sky is still cloudy but it is dry at the moment.  .... Maybe spring really is coming