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Am I too nice?
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 2010-05-07 7:46 PM |
Member 170  |  Subject: Am I too nice?Ok so my roomate here that is in Iraq with me we have been around eachother since being pregnant we had our babies 2 weeks apart we deployecd out here together we worked together before we deployed and then they amde us roomates...we dont hate eachother we just are sick of eachother i think. Anyway our room we live in is very small its like 2 decent size bathrooms put together so I work night shift and EVERY DAY it never fails she comes in and FLIPS the light on gives no warning and just turns it on at like 4 pm and i dont ususally get up for another hr...now on sundays i get off of work a little earlier around 5 am and even though i cant see when i get into my room i use my light form my computer and a flashlight to get around the room...i thought if i just didn't do it to her my kindness would rub off but APPARANTLY NOT she does it to me every day and I havent told her not to..i just hate confrontation..i have asked her to turn it off before after she has turned it on hoping shed get the hint? The thing that makes me even more mad about it is SHE HAS A LAMP on her side of the room taht she could use.. sighs i should just ask her nicely to not turn the light on because it wakes me up? is that really rude or is it just me? |
| 2010-05-07 7:58 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Master 2538   Albuquerque | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? I'd say, yeah, you're being nice about it. |
| 2010-05-07 9:02 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Champion 7821 Brooklyn, NY | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Unscrew the bulb before you go to sleep. Heh. |
| 2010-05-07 9:29 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
| Member 170 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Ha not a bad idea but its a huge lightbulb not your avg lightbulb that you find in normal lights its those long and skinny ones...i just need to say somthing i just dont feel like arguing...but i think airconditioner in our room leaked all over her bed yesterday hah |
| 2010-05-07 9:36 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Champion 7821 Brooklyn, NY | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Do you think she's doing it on purpose to be obnoxious or just because she forgets? If it's the latter, maybe try sticking a big piece of duct tape over the switch before you go to sleep, or put a sign on the door to remind her not to turn on the light. You just need to train her. |
| 2010-05-07 9:39 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Elite 4547 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? italiantp3 - 2010-05-07 8:46 PM Ok so my roomate here that is in Iraq with me we have been around eachother since being pregnant we had our babies 2 weeks apart we deployecd out here together we worked together before we deployed and then they amde us roomates...we dont hate eachother we just are sick of eachother i think. Anyway our room we live in is very small its like 2 decent size bathrooms put together so I work night shift and EVERY DAY it never fails she comes in and FLIPS the light on gives no warning and just turns it on at like 4 pm and i dont ususally get up for another hr...now on sundays i get off of work a little earlier around 5 am and even though i cant see when i get into my room i use my light form my computer and a flashlight to get around the room...i thought if i just didn't do it to her my kindness would rub off but APPARANTLY NOT she does it to me every day and I havent told her not to..i just hate confrontation..i have asked her to turn it off before after she has turned it on hoping shed get the hint? The thing that makes me even more mad about it is SHE HAS A LAMP on her side of the room taht she could use.. sighs i should just ask her nicely to not turn the light on because it wakes me up? is that really rude or is it just me? Okay, here's why I'm going to answer the thread title's question a resounding no, you're not being too nice. I think you think you are being nice...but when you expect her to read your mind, you're not being nice. You need to be polite and direct. It's not confrontation, it's common courtesy. |
| 2010-05-07 9:39 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
| Member 170 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? See that's teh thing im not sure if she is doing it to spite me or if she is just is airheaded andd doesnt realise how annoying it is ppl tell me ot just do it back to her but i cant cuz iknow how much i hate it |
| 2010-05-07 9:43 PM in reply to: #2845405 |
| Member 170 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Okay, here's why I'm going to answer the thread title's question a resounding no, you're not being too nice. I think you think you are being nice...but when you expect her to read your mind, you're not being nice. You need to be polite and direct. It's not confrontation, it's common courtesy. Your right it is common courtesy and i think ill say somthing so i can get that extra hr of sleep but your also wrong because its confrontation esp because most females not all but most cna be very katty and i just dont wanna hear it but im going to just ask her nicely to keep the light off .. |
| 2010-05-07 11:30 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Master 1890 Cypress, CA | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? It's not really "confrontation" if you've never brought it up before and you're polite about it. It's just passing information. I'm guessing there's a better than even chance that (as long you're polite about telling her) you'll get a response like "Oh my God, I didn't think about that, I'm really sorry and won't do that any more." |
| 2010-05-08 1:17 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
Pro 4339 Husker Nation | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Not to mention that by not bringing it up it's driving you crazy and causing you to secretly hate her. In what way is that nice? |
| 2010-05-08 7:46 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
Veteran 129 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? I think the direct approach is best but if you really don't like confrontation how about you sleep in one of those eye masks and with ear buds in? I'd never worn them before but ended up getting some in a similar situation and they worked a treat |
| 2010-05-08 12:26 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
| Member 170 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? I dont hate her..I dont hate anyone thats a strong word...but yes it is causing me to dislike her but hey i like the idea of the eye cover thing i didnt even think about it |
| 2010-05-09 12:22 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
Master 1929 Midlothian, VA | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Rig up something inside the lightswitch. Like a firecracker. It'll startle you too, but will likely scare the crap out of your roomie. Course maybe that will get too much attention given your surroundings. Anyway, MacGuyver up something harmless yet startling. |
| 2010-05-09 8:03 AM in reply to: #2845927 |
Buttercup 14334 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? italiantp3 - 2010-05-08 1:26 PM I dont hate her..I dont hate anyone thats a strong word...but yes it is causing me to dislike her but hey i like the idea of the eye cover thing i didnt even think about it That's the point he was making. You don't communicate and now you resent her for not knowing what you haven't told her. You're not being nice - you're being passive. Passive = lack of action or will. Nice = pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature. Finding your voice is the most liberating thing you can do in your life. Repression only leads to distorted emotions. So, use your voice, open your mouth, and nicely ask for what you want. And sleep shades are great to have/use. |
| 2010-05-09 9:26 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
Expert 1186 North Cackalacky | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Not sure what branch of service you're in, what your rank is, etc., but is it outside the realm of possibility to ask for a new roommate who works the same schedule as you? To me, it seems like a foul on your leadership's part to room up two people on opposite rhythms. Then again, I'm a flyer, so that kind of thing was way more important to us when we were deployed. |
| 2010-05-09 7:18 PM in reply to: #2845268 |
Champion 7704 Williamston, Michigan | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Well chonic sleep deprivation will make this get to be a bigger and bigger thing then somethign stupid will push you over the edge with her. Say something like Gee would you mind not turning the big light on you are waking me up every day and I am getting really sleep deprived. She is probab;y oblivious. |
| 2010-05-10 11:02 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
| Master 2083 Houston, TX | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? Speak up and address the issue. Communicate. It makes life so much easier. |
| 2010-05-10 11:12 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
| 29 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? I don't understand while your still in bed if at the end of her shift( if she goes straight to the barracks) you are still in bed? In most cases you would be up and ready to take over the next shift? I no longer play games with people who make a guessing game of the moods , just start with " i don't want to cause any trouble but it bothers me when you...fill in the blank.. |
| 2010-05-10 11:20 AM in reply to: #2845268 |
Extreme Veteran 605 | Subject: RE: Am I too nice? One of my buddies is a residence hall director for a local university. Every year he deals with tons of situations like this among his residents. This is his advice: Edited by MNGopher 2010-05-10 11:21 AM |
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