Zombie outbreak?

""We're backing off to see what other possibilities there are," acting Superintendent James Stubblebine said. "Maybe, with more media attention, as people read about it, someone could step forward with a better solution.""

 Oh, I'll bet you want people to step forward.  "Hey kids, who wants to be zombie chow?"

 "The herd that began with one deer in the mid-1990s had grown to 13 two weeks ago, but one of them, a big buck, was shot by city police last week after impaling itself on the perimeter fence it was trying to jump."

 Yeah.  I'm sure ONE deer can become a dozen.  It takes two to make a new deer, but only one zombie can create more infected zombies. Plus, how did the "deer" even get in there, with a "perimeter fence" in place? That's right - they came from the graves themselves! And what kind of cemetery needs a fence that can impale things?  That's right - the kind that's is trying to contain ZOMBIES!!!

 "The cemetery had obtained a deer-control permit from the Pennsylvania Game Commission, which uses a special sharpshooters unit to cull the deer in populated areas."

 You know why they needed "special sharpshooters"?  That's right - to get that all-important head shot!

 "The buck was impaled Thursday, and the Game Commission said Friday that the hunt would be rescheduled but the date would not be made public for safety reasons - leading to a public outcry against it."

 They HAVE to keep the date secret - if people came to watch, they would know THE TRUTH!!! (And maybe get infected as well!) I'll bet there are "safety reasons"...

 "Stubblebine said cemetery board members earlier weighed several options to solve the deer problem, including tranquilizing them and moving them.

He said they were told that was not a good idea because only a few survive."

 A few WHAT would survive?  Zombies?  NO - only a few of the workers trying to "relocate" them.

 "And the current herd is already causing problems.

People can't place flowers at a grave site.

"They (deer) go through flowers like crazy," Stubblebine said."

 The REAL reason people can't place flowers is obvious - the zombies feast whenever people come to the site!

I certainly hope you all have your zombies plans in place, and keep reading the news closely...