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Cheating bf & vacation
OptionResults
Go with him, have the best time possible, and try to work things out w/us
Go with him, flirt with every guy I see and make the trip miserable for him
Go by myself and just give him all the money back that he paid
Let him go by himself and lose out on the money I paid (and on Costa Rica)
Ask my fellow BTers if anyone would like go in his place
Go with him, but be the bigger person & act maturely & drop him afterwards
Flip a coin. Winner goes (and takes a friend). Loser stays home.
Never use the bathroom again. Ever.
Drop him AND take a BTer.
Go on your own and let him do whatever he wants.
DUMP HIM. Don't tell him you're going to Costa Rica. Don't give him a penny
Don't go on trips with men you are not married to.
take me in celebration of the one thousandth post
Make up your own friggin mind, what do a bunch of strangers know?
This is a multiple choice poll.

2005-11-18 9:46 AM
in reply to: #287905

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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation

I'm guessing the "good time" involved alcohol, a "what could this hurt hookup"....

Must. Be. Clear. On. Where. You. Stand.

Renee - 2005-11-18 10:32 AM [ I give him the 'Are you stoopid?' look when he tells me his plans, he protests that it'll be a good time, he knows what he's doing.

When he gets back from his cruise he refuses to talk about his 'good times.' He's still getting text messages from his stalker ex-girlfriend and can't understand why she won't go away.



Edited by TriComet 2005-11-18 9:46 AM


2005-11-18 9:49 AM
in reply to: #287826

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation

yes, but "take me in celebration of my one thousandth post" got 1 vote, so let's not overlook it.

Renee - 2005-11-18 9:44 AM

Take lots of wet weather gear. Rainy season began in November.

Hey! My suggestion got the most votes!!! I totally rock.

2005-11-18 9:54 AM
in reply to: #287932

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
3558 - 2005-11-18 8:49 AM

yes, but "take me in celebration of my one thousandth post" got 1 vote, so let's not overlook it.

Renee - 2005-11-18 9:44 AM

Take lots of wet weather gear. Rainy season began in November.

Hey! My suggestion got the most votes!!! I totally rock.



You voting for yourself doesn't count...

And I'm just stoked that someone besides me thought that she shouldn't use the bathroom any more.

bts
2005-11-18 2:19 PM
in reply to: #287510

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
Chiming in late, here, I know, but:

LOSE. THE. GUY.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. If you're feeling up to it, go on the trip by yourself and give him back any portion of the money that you haven't acutally spent if it makes you feel better. Under no circumstances should you reimburse him for costs actually incurred. Under no circumstances should you bring him.

If you are not up to traveling alone, so be it. You're out some $$ and maybe can postpone some of the other items. But as a woman who has and will travel alone from time to time, i say just enjoy it! There is much to be gained from a little solitude from time to time. On things like the rafting trip you'll make friends, other times you can read/reflect/write/sleep in/run, whatever YOU like to do whenever YOU like to do it. I swear if more women tried this from time to time more of us would stay single.
2005-11-18 3:26 PM
in reply to: #286994


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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
You're going to get back together with him anyway. Go on the trip, call it some sort of awesome reunion. You will have something to look back on when he leaves you with two kids so that he can "really examine his feelings" toward his new secretary. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

LaurenSU02 - 2005-11-17 10:16 AM
He said he needed to be w/ someone else before deciding if he was going to spend the rest of his life with me. I said, "If you really needed that, you should have broken up with me first...and, after dating me for 200+ weeks, you could have waited a few more weeks so you didn't ruin our vacation."
2005-11-18 4:07 PM
in reply to: #288263

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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
CitySky - 2005-11-18 2:19 PM

Chiming in late, here, I know, but:

LOSE. THE. GUY.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. If you're feeling up to it, go on the trip by yourself and give him back any portion of the money that you haven't acutally spent if it makes you feel better. Under no circumstances should you reimburse him for costs actually incurred. Under no circumstances should you bring him.

If you are not up to traveling alone, so be it. You're out some $$ and maybe can postpone some of the other items. But as a woman who has and will travel alone from time to time, i say just enjoy it! There is much to be gained from a little solitude from time to time. On things like the rafting trip you'll make friends, other times you can read/reflect/write/sleep in/run, whatever YOU like to do whenever YOU like to do it. I swear if more women tried this from time to time more of us would stay single.

AMEN ! With the side bonus of uhm- self respect? self reliance ?


2005-11-20 7:44 AM
in reply to: #286706

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Veteran
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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
Getting in here late (damn flu got me!), but a few quick questions to answer for yourself:

--Have you ever heard of a relationship working when somebody cheated?

--If the cheated-on takes the cheater back, has the cheater ever NOT cheated again?

Even if it was a "one-time event" (and I'm not really that convinced there is such thing, and this situation would definitely NOT be, since it was a marathon session for him), the dynamics of the relationship are destroyed. Every argument will always end in your favor because of the unmentioned-but-always-there "Yeah, but you cheated on me." Reading your posts, I think you are sliding back to him, and hope you won't.

Do whatever with the trip, but I'd stop using the money as an excuse. You have enough to take 10 days in Costa Rica. The straits can't be all that dire. The money is lost one way or the other, how you feel about yourself LATER is what will really matter.

And, just to keep it light-hearted:

Cheaters don't change their spots! Oh, I crack myself up.
2005-11-20 8:15 AM
in reply to: #288836


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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
One last thought. I doubt that this is the first time that he has cheated on you. And certainly not the first time that he has tried... It was just the first time that you caught him...

If I am wrong, I'm sorry.
2005-11-20 9:32 PM
in reply to: #288836

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Subject: RE: Cheating bf & vacation
goodzen - 2005-11-20 8:44 AM
how you feel about yourself LATER is what will really matter.

And, just to keep it light-hearted:

Cheaters don't change their spots! Oh, I crack myself up.


I would have to agree.. do whatever you can look back on and be proud of. There are no good/bad decisions.. they are all choices, its what you do with those choices that determine if they are good/bad. So make a choice, and then make it the best of it.

goodzen lol you cracked me up too.. cheaters.. cheetas, hah!
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